I love this topic. Denial is one of those things that has a bad rap. No one is ever supposed to be in denial even though we all are at various times about various things for various very important reasons.

This goes along with the discussion a couple days ago about coping in crisis. I have found you are often better off not knowing it all as “all” when there is so much going on because if you could did it would overwhelm the psyche.

As an example, I have recently come through intense crisis. And apparently I gained some weight in the midst of this but lucky for me I did not know it. Everyone else knew it but I blurred it out because I just could not cope with even one more thing at the time. As things eased, I was able to see myself in the mirror and get back on track but boy am I grateful this was not shoved in my face at the time.

This subject is relevant now with Mercury (logic) in Pisces, a sign accused of denial but “denial” with the judgment taken out might be called, faith in God or faith in the universe which so many recommend. Because if it belongs in your lap it will surely wind up there eventually so here is this story about the soldier again, this time with a footnote below…

Eventually the soldier found out unequivocally that his wife was cheating on him and he divorced her immediately as he always said he would. “If I were to find out for sure… but I was never sure.” Had he faced this earlier his life would have been different for sure but who says it would have been better? And what about his son? The soldier’s son grew up with 2 parents courtesy the soldier’s denial. Does Saturn in Virgo want to judge that?

On the lousy relationship bead, and in the interest of Jupiter in Sagittarius (different perspectives) here is a man’s voice…

I was on the crosstrainer next to a man I’ve been casually chatting with for several years. I’d decided to ask him about his personal life since I’ve been discussing mine, lately. This is new territory for us and we have no chemistry by the way. Our affinity is purely intellectual.

“So what about you?” I asked. “What is your personal situation?” Continue reading Jupiter In Sagittarius: Speaking of Leaving Bad Relationships – What’s a Man Got To Say?

The New York Times reports:

“…The American Community Survey, released this month by the Census Bureau, found that 49.7 percent, or 55.2 million, of the nation’s 111.1 million households in 2005 were made up of married couples – with and without children – just shy of a majority and down from more than 52 percent five years earlier.”

I’ve been thinking about the dropping marriage rate. The first thing I thought was if they would allow gay marriage the rate would go right back up. But other than that, it’s a bit if a relief. Because although marriage does suit a percentage of people very well, some of us just plain, strain under contracts in general. I know I do. I have been married twice and was miserable from day one, both times! And it had nothing to do with the men.

The problem is that “marriage” is a shoe that does not fit my foot. At all! I have Venus square Neptune in my chart which describes a very leaky situation when it comes to “love”. My love is going all over, all the time so standing there promising to corral and contain it creates a complete disconnect. And that’s just the beginning of my woes.

So I’m standing there getting married… I’m saying the words I’m supposed to be saying and it’s a complete “sacrifice” because the words have nothing to do with my soul. And I have to say it’s a great relief to get a little older and have the ability to communicate this.

I am either in love with you, or I am not! I am devoted or I am not! I am loyal to a degree that is astonishing and all a marriage license does is make me miserable to a degree that is nearly supernatural. So in many ways I am glad to see there are fewer marriages. Because I know via astrology there are gobs of people who feel akin to the way I do and this is very liberating.

On the other hand, I think it is hell on the kids! And single parenting is so incredibly hard. But so is living a life that is mismatched to your nature. And people who aren’t suited to marriage wind up divorced anyway!

So what if there were no stigma of any kind attached to being married or single? Would you say marriage suits you? Or are you more like me, cramming your foot into an uncomfortable shoe, the moment you say “I do”?

And where is your Venus? It’s sign and it’s aspects.

Dear Curiouser,

Okay, listen up. You are right. She is not as concerned. She is a double Sagittarius, you are a double Libra. In fact, you have you Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars, Pluto and Uranus in Libra. That is one hell of a lot of Libra and guess what Libra rules? Partnerships! Marriage. So get this loud and clear:

NO ONE IS AS CONCERNED ABOUT “RELATIONSHIPS” AS YOU ARE! Your entire life is about “the other”. And I am not being critical. I am just saying, this is the way it is and if you can come to understand this… that other people have wildly different priorities, it will save you copious amounts of grief.

Now if you read your question up there, it’s very clear that you are focused on how two people relate. That’s fine, but it won’t help you much and I’ll tell you why. It’s because you can’t control your wife… not even one bit. But here’s what you can do:

You can embrace your nature. You can focus on the other, but in a more productive way. That is, you can try to understand her nature so that you can be a better partner and I’ll give my read on this scenario.

Your wife is a double Sadge. She needs tremendous room to roam. Like a wild horse. Wild horses do not like to be balled and chained… which is how it feels to her when another person is underfoot all time. Including on a honeymoon, okay?

Because to you, a honeymoon is one thing. To her, it’s probably primarily TRAVEL, and hopefully with someone who can hit the ground running. Are you getting the picture here? Because I bet you this is the underlying reason why there is conflict. She gets all kinds of skittish when she is too reined in.

So this is my advice: if you want your wife to be happy, read everything you can find on Sagittarius, and act accordingly. In short, she needs everything that wild horses need to be happy. A little food, a little water, some sex… but more than anything she needs to run, unfettered. She needs another perspective. She needs a ‘new vista” and she needs this alllll the time.

And as for giving back (my own Libra moves to balance) – you need to know you’re in a RELATIONSHIP. Which means she needs to be calling you from wherever… and letting you know that she loves you… that she is your partner. Do this for each other and you’ll be well on your way.

Good luck.

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