marie writes on the Pluto Transit To The Moon: Mine – Losing a Child blog:

“Can a transit portend the loss of a child, Elsa? I try not to obsess about this. When you lose a child or have a child who is gravely ill, you seek a reason for the curse because the pain is so unbearable. During a 5 month period, my sister’s only child drowned in a freak accident and my 6 year old son (also an only child) was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was discovered by accident – he had presented no symptoms whatsoever.

Continue reading Astrology And The Loss Of A Child… Waiting For The Axe To Fall

Zavela writes poignantly about her father:

Could it be the Saturn in Virgo that made me to realize that I am a sinner? My father didn’t deserve to be rejected but it is too late to hug him and let him know my feelings.

The hunt after career and to provide good living to my children became such priority of my life that I forgot my father, my brothers and my childhood. This year has brought to me, I must say, weird experiences which brought back memories from my childhood. That led me to do research on my family background. I found out that my father was Jewish. He never told me, he never told anybody. Why? I will never know. There was WWII….. I never met his family, he never spoke about his family and I never asked. It is too late now. He died last summer and my mother died when I was 10. Until a few weeks ago I didn’t realize what a selfish ignorant I am.

(((Zavela))) I am very sorry for your pain.

First, I hope you are not too awful hard on yourself for too long. Virtually everyone pulls away and “abandons” their parents in order to establish themselves as an adult. It is a normal part growing up and as parents we know this, because we did it to our parents.

We also know if our children are not aware of us in the moment or if they are supposedly neglecting us, they will become very aware later on and we love them so much they already and always forgiven without even needing to ask.

Last, we know it will be enormously painful for our children when we pass. We know this even if they do not and I can pretty much guarantee your father’s deepest desire is that you live happy and free. What else could he possibly want?

It is true you can’t hug your father or ask him about the war and other things, firsthand. However, it is also true that pieces of these things will find their way to you for the rest of your life… in affect, your father will be talking to you in this way. He will always be with you because you are part of him and he is part of you and nobody and nothing (even death) changes that even one iota.

I hope you will forgive yourself. I am sure he already has. Much love.

Don’t Drive By Without Stopping

Dear Confused,

You’re 27 years old and you have lost your mother. I feel terribly sad for you and I want to do what you ask. I want to help you solve your problem and help yourself and the first thing I want you to know is your boyfriend’s inability and/ or unwillingness to help you through this crisis is not a reflection on you.

Also, his criticizing and calling you “needy” during a time when anyone with a beating heart would have enhanced needs is cold and uncalled for.

Now it sounds to me as if you are functioning very well. A little too well maybe and I get it. Losing your mother is a terrible blow and the last thing you want to do is lose your boyfriend simultaneously. Anyone with half a brain would do anything in their power to prevent something like this; however it may not be possible. It may be he is not the one for you and you are going to suffer a total life crisis at this juncture.

And I am sorry to say that but I don’t know how to avoid saying it – because this guy is not helping you, now when you need him the most. And does that sound like someone you want as a life partner?

Look. I am so sorry. But I think you have been staving off the grieving you are going to have to do and I don’t think your boyfriend is going to magically turn competent which means you are on your own… sort of.

You are on your own except for the fact that there are support groups everywhere… and if I were you I would get hooked up with them immediately. This is one way you can take care of yourself without relying on him and it is possible if you do this it will take some pressure off him and perhaps (?) he will be able to better respond. But either way, you will be taking a positive step and you are almost sure to make new friends – which it sounds like you could really use.

I am so sorry for your loss. Much love and good luck.

~~
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All this talk about calling a spade a spade when it comes to reading charts and yesterday I spoke with a new client for the first time.

Now this gal had been talking to astrologers for a lonnnnng time. She has spoken with lots of astrologers and formed relationships with them. And she has also had three… yes THREE lovers die, but nobody, not one of these astrologers in her past has mentioned the Venus Pluto opposition in her chart that is exact not to the degree but to the minute.

“How come no one ever told me about this?” she asked.

Well I would say it’s unfathomable except for it’s not. Nobody wants to talk to this woman about all these dead men. They’d rather talk about the blue sky, I guess. As if distraction is going to help something like this. Or they talk to her in abstract terms – “Your chart is very challenging” which to me is code for, “I have no idea how to help you.”

Well I do know how to help her. And awhile back I referred someone to Albert Stephens. I have referred a few people to him because I’ve felt he could better address their specific questions and right now I just want to say if you are an astrologer with no idea what to say to someone who lovers drop like flies… well my name is Elsa P and I can handle this stuff with aplomb. Which leads me to another thing… but that will be another blog.

Dear Scorpio,

There is no way I can make this decision for you or even offer an opinion. But I can perhaps give some clarity and that might help.

First, I cannot tell which man you love by reading this. And rather than write you back and ask for clarification, I left it this way because I think it’s important. Being drawn to someone is not love, is it? But on the other hand, you plainly state you want to leave your marriage so it does not sound as if you love him either. So considering this, the Cancer comes out on top, so let’s talk about him.

He doesn’t want you. And I don’t say that to hurt you. I am trying to help you and it’s very simple. When a man tells you to stay with another man, it means they don’t want you even if they couch in terms like “because of your kids”. That sounds like a Cancer MO to me. He’s so sensitive. He’s so innocent. But he’s leaving out all kinds of things, isn’t he? Things like that he got in your marriage in the first place.

So here’s your deal: you have a husband and a family which presumably you can turn your attention back towards. Alternately you can divorce and look for another relationship but I don’t think you are going to come up with anything better than what you’ve got without some serious soul-searching.

The option that is not open to you is the Cancer man, and I hope realizing this leads nearer the exit of this labyrinth you’re caught in.

Oh! And as for your husband’s disclosure, his timing was lousy. But fact is, that was a positive development.

I am very sorry for your loss. Good luck.

~~
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There were 25-30 people at the accident at least. All shapes, sizes, varieties and uniforms. She got hit (hit the car, I mean) in front of the motor vehicle department of all things and on top of that she’s a Gemini, you know.

Anyway, we got home and I posted the blog. Just as I finished, the phone rang. It was the police.

“Where did you go? You left,” said the officer.

“Huh? They released us… I thought.” I did think this considering a cop said we were good to go and helped load my daughter’s bike into the trunk of my car. “We’re home,” I added.

“I need you to come back,” he said.

“Er, okay. We’ll be there in one minute.” *Click

A minute later he is explaining the accident is my daughter’s fault but he is not going to cite her because it looks like “you have enough problems. (there would be a fine) See how these cops like me? Saturn!

He also called the woman with the scratched car who came out to the parking lot (she works right there) and I confirmed I would pay to repair her car.

After that we all said goodbye… “have a good day,” and I hope it will be. And though this it has been chaotic I can hardly say the day is bad, huh? Because my daughter is okay, yes?

Makes me think she will be okay through this Pluto Moon transit and on the first pass I had no such assurance. So based on this I don’t think I will complain the skittishness out there for the rest of the day.

Dear Grieving,

If reading your mail was not enough, I looked at your chart and nearly burst into tears. It is clear that your loss is staggering and I am so sorry you have to face something like this, especially when you are so young (25 years old). And I wish I knew a way out but I don’t believe there is one. I am so sorry, but this is a period you will have to go through and I will try to offer what I can in the hopes it eases your pain in the even the tiniest way.

First, I am pretty sure that this is as bad as it will ever get for you. You will make it through this time one way or the other by hook or crook, and when you do no one and nothing will ever be able to threaten you again.

Because what are they going to do? Kill your mother? Give her cancer? Make her suffer? Are they going to make your father worthless? What? Are they going to take your job? It’s already happened, damnit! So this is where you are headed – to extreme empowerment and here are my tips to get from here to there most directly and with the least pain which I am sorry to say, is still going to be excruciating.

You want to go into survival mode. That means shut down as many systems as you can. You don’t need to be arguing with a drunk for example. If your family members are turning on you (and with this much Scorpio I bet they are), you are going to have to let them. It’s like a forest burning down. You can get in there and try, but ultimately it is bigger than you and trying to fight the inevitable will only get you burned. You’ve just got to hunker down and let the thing burn… let nature take its course. Eventually it will burn itself out at that point you can take stock. Who is left? Who are your friends? What family do you have left?

And I want to tell you you’re not going to have much. I am sorry but I am just trying to warn you and really… tell you what you already know. You will be lucky to come out of this with one loyal friend so look for that. Look for the one good thing or person in your life and focus there while this fire burns. Now here’s a map:

In the very near term, you will still be coming to terms with the fact your mother is gone. Expect any depression to deepen as reality sets in; this is unavoidable. And although you are going to feel bad awhile, this will peak by August and then slowly… very slowly improve.

And although the blacker feelings will ease as Saturn moves out of aspect with your Scorpio Moon and Venus, you will still be dealing with a Neptune transit which will have you inordinately sensitive and emotional… perhaps crying at the drop of a hat. Tears come and you don’t even know why. Crying at movies. Crying when various music comes into your head. Crying because someone (finally) said something nice to you. Crying for the sake of crying.

And I know no way to make this easier, outside of telling you that you can be sure you are not crazy because you are going to wonder at times.

So basically what you have is the crisis of your lifetime. Look for a lifeline. Just one. And when you find it, hold on to it and ignore everything else the best you can. I’m so very sorry. I know you can make it through this.

Much love and good luck.

~~
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Dear Mourning,

What an excellent question. I am very sorry for your loss and first need to tell you I have no ability connect with someone who has passed and transfer information. So I can’t tell you what your mother or your aunt may or may not know but I still think I may be able to help.

Having encountered more than my share of death in this life, I’ve been forced to develop some kind of philosophy about this because my natural reaction to loss was very similar to what you are experiencing. I just could not parse the deaths in my life and resolve them in a way that could bring me lasting peace. And part of the reason was that like in your case, the deaths came one after another, my feelings cascaded and I could not keep up.

But eventually I did find a way of seeing things that brought me a calm understanding around death that has held for about 15 years – so I’ll share it with you in the hope it helps.

You say you want some kind of connection with these women and with Venus (love/female) in the 8th (death/inheritance), the fact is that their energy flows very naturally to you. People with planets in the 8th house inherit the energy of the dead and carry their legacy whether they are aware of not. And since this is exactly what you’re seeking, this seems a fairly easy thing to resolve. Their energy is with you and I only need make you aware of this.

See when someone dies, that’s their body. There goes their body; they can no longer use it, but what about their energy? Their energy is still with us. And if you wonder if this is true, just think of a writer. The writer is dead, but their book is with us and anytime someone reads that book, they access the dead person’s energy. Their energy is right there, in their hands. So how can you say this person is gone? Their body is gone, their energy is here.

But what if the person did not write a book? No problem. They did something.

In this case, your mother had a baby: you. You are her energy. She made you just like that writer made that book. So how can she be gone when you’re still here? You are wearing her face, don’t you know this? Go look in the mirror and see your mother.

Further, I happen to know that you write. And don’t your mother’s words come through you at times? Don’t you use her phrasing or rephrase her ideas at times? If so, how can you say she’s not here? She is coming through you all the time. You express her energy… constantly. People who knew your mother look at you and see your mother so how can you say she is gone?

My grandfather (Henry) haunts this blog. When he died, I nearly died. But Henry has gone nowhere. Oh, his body is gone but he lives through me. I would not be me had he not been my grandfather, and I am here impacting people everyday – empowered by Henry who is dead. I am Henry’s legacy. And when I die, Henry will still live through my children and through the people who have read here and been moved by what I have to say which originated in Henry… and the person before Henry and the person before him (or her).

So this is my advice:come to see the truth. You are your mother and your aunt. You are an amalgamation of them and others and none of these people can ever leave you or you them, and mad?? You think they may be mad because you were not there when they died?

How do you know you weren’t there when they died? You may very well have been the last thing that crossed their minds. You’re the man with Venus in the 8th. You may have kissed them both sweetly right before they died. The physical body is joke. We are dealing with souls here.

I say, go live. You are what your mother has left behind to carry her energy and her message forward. You can honor the dead by living the best life you can on the on the energy they’ve bequeathed you. How can you love your lost ones and do anything less?

Much love and good luck.

~~
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