Dear Talk,

Your gross challenge in relationship is shown in your chart and addressing all of it is beyond the scope of an advice blog. However I can tell you how you and everyone else can get relief from these patterns that dog you in relationships.

In general, the problems you describe are Neptune-themed. You deny and delude yourself in relationship and then are devastated when reality becomes apparent. Or you are deceived by the partner; this is the likely reason the one guy bolted. I imagine he was about to be found out as a liar. And from one Venus square Neptune gal to another, I can tell you if will help tremendously if you will find other outlets for your creativity (and other things that challenge and ultimately devastate your relationships).

For example, you can sacrifice yourself by volunteering to help others who deserve… or you can be a doormat and sacrifice yourself to a drug addict. Either option utilizes the same energy and skills except on the first case you may up with a decent man and in the latter case, no.

As another example: if you find yourself in life or death struggles in love, why not go rock climbing? ::smiles:: I’m very serious. You can play this out in this sort of venue, and hook up with the man on the next ledge while you’re at it.

This technique works.

Good luck.

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I thought this was interesting and perhaps in line with the current blogs on Venus Saturn:

In a new study published in Current Directions in Psychological Science, researchers studied some of the ways loneliness is bad for your health. From the press release:

“…However, when the psychologists looked at the lives of the middle-aged and old people in their study, they found that although the lonely ones reported the same number of stressful life events, they identified more sources of chronic stress and recalled more childhood adversity. Moreover, they differed in how they perceived their life experiences. Even when faced with similar challenges, the lonelier people appeared more helpless and threatened. And ironically, they were less apt to actively seek help when they are stressed out.

Hawkley and Cacioppo then took urine samples from both the lonely and the more contented volunteers, and found that the lonely ones had more of the hormone epinephrine flowing in their bodies. Epinephrine is one of the body’s “fight or flight” chemicals, and high levels indicate that lonely people go through life in a heightened state of arousal. As with blood pressure, this physiological toll likely becomes more apparent with aging. Since the body’s stress hormones are intricately involved in fighting inflammation and infection, it appears that loneliness contributes to the wear and tear of aging through this pathway as well…”

It seems to me if lonely people have a heightened “fight or flight” response, then we’re talking about commitment-phobics (of which I am one) and the like. And I wonder if Venus Saturn aspects in a chart might indicate a lack of ‘fight or flight” when it comes to relationship.

And I surely don’t know but it falls in line with something I was realized awhile back when pondering the fact I tend to keep friends long term. I wrote about how the relationships stayed in tact simply because both parties stayed. For whatever reason both parties decided to stay in the relationship and work it out rather than bolt when things got dicey and consequently the relationships persisted.

And this idea also supports the theory that Venus Saturn types wind up looking pretty good in the end, where as people who have the chance, the ability and propensity to churn through a lot of relationships… i.e. “I am threatened, (for whatever reason) so I am out of here,” wind up lonely in the end.

What do you think?

pictured – Magdalen of Night Light, Georges de La Tour,1630-35, Oil on canvas, Mus©e du Louvre, Paris