“I like to read your writing but it drives me crazy too,” the soldier said.
“Why?”

“Because I get insanely jealous when I read it. I wish that I was the only boyfriend you ever had, and you were my only girlfriend even though I know that is completely irrational.”

“You’re jealous?”

“Hell yes, you know I am.”

“No, not really. You don’t show it at all,” I said. “You never say anything.”

Continue reading Astrology And Jealousy: Which Sign In Most Prone?

I would like to understand this phenomena. You don’t like your wife or you don’t like your husband. You complain incessantly, you wish you’d never met them, they are bane of your existence and just in general, you feel they are worthless.

Eventually they leave you and whoops! Someone else snaps them up!

Now why are you so pissed? Why do you come unglued and/or try to destroy them? What do you care? Really. Why. Do. You. Care?

Anyone?

Thus is from 2007: What’s a dog to do?

To update for 2010, I think (more) people are going to discover they have feelings similar to mine as Pluto in Capricorn, etc. brings primal feelings, like the fear of survival to their consciousness.

A client writes:
Everyone has a dark side, right? I mean are there people who are just so full-blown sweet and adjusted and owning their stuff and never saying a mean word to anyone and fun and nice and kind and wonderful and just no shadow?

I can’t decide. (she has Libra)

I’m curious. Really. Continue reading Ask The Collective: Does Everyone Have A Dark Side?

Many of you know I really like to figure things out or at least try to.  With Mercury in the 9th, I am not apt to ever manage this. I am destined to be a horse after a carrot but anyway I have a current curiosity and I got on the phone to hash it out with someone.

Typically when I have a query, I make the rounds and and solicit the opinions of friends who are a varied group (male/female, gay/straight and various colors).  Sometimes this is enough but sometimes I want a larger sample so I bring it to the blog and today here I am.

Continue reading Jealousy, Andy Rooney and Elsa P

Dear Elsa,

I remember taking a globalization class in grad school and gender discrimination came up as a topic of discussion. The women in the class were sharing their experiences, primarily their experiences of being held back by men in the corporate world. While the men in the class sat glum and humbled.
Continue reading Attractive Woman Suffers In The Workplace Due Jealousy

Lisa Martin Molinari commented on the Gaslighting video (on youtube) regarding people who come on my blog to criticize my (happy) relationship:

“Why do people do this? Is it an insecurity? I would think if they are criticizing your relationship when you are obviously happy, then they must be jealous. I have just gotten rid of several people in my life who are toxic like this. And, I do not miss their friendship…”

Lisa, what a great question. I talk to my friends about this a lot because it happens to me so frequently. Jealousy is one explanation but we have come up with some others. First, I don’t necessarily think the attacks are conscious. It’s very hard to tell. A person pointing out a flaw may actually think they are doing a service and not perceive their comments as an attack. It may be a pure lack of boundaries. On the other hand it could be completely malicious but designed to look otherwise.
Continue reading Open Question: Gaslighting Redux – Why Do People Attack Or Undermine Someone’s Happy Love Relationship

The soldier and I have this opposition and I don’t know what to say except we oppose! Yesterday we were waking into the gym, me with my Big hair and him, with his Porky Pig Onion Head. Filing in we passed three women filing out.

“Did you see those girls looking at you?” I said after they’d passed.

“They were looking at you,” he said.

“No, they were looking at you and then they saw me and they quit looking at you which was a damned good choice.”

“P, those girls were lesbians. Obvious lesbians.”

I had no choice but to screw up my face, sneer and raise an eyebrow.

Further comments regarding my recounting of the green skirt in the liquor store episode, it occurred to me when I wrote that piece that it would probably seem to the reader, I had this conversation with the soldier to make him jealous. I realized some would run with this (mis)information but let it go as always. I realized early on if I tried to cover the bases (i.e. my ass), my writing would be boring and you know my family motto, right?  “It is a sin to bore people.”

I was specifically taught this so when I left the blog as-is. After all, it’s only my reputation which has always been good among the good and bad among the bad my whole life long so as you can see my ass is covered.

Continue reading Jealousy… I Love This Topic – Scorpio, The 8th House And Those Damned Italians Again!

Kingsley writes on Men, Women. Venus And Mars In Nature:

“Jealousy is the anger about the prospect (scare) of being rejected. It could be a way in which you keep together Elsa. It would be very easy for either of you to get each other angry if you needed to do that. When I say angry, that could mean passionate too; to constantly live in the “now” of the relationship. In a way that may help to reinforce your attachment with each other. I can’t see a problem with that, its just that when the relationship is going through growing pains it will helpful for the both of you to be aware of that happening.”

Continue reading Is It Jealousy? Fear? Possessiveness? Mothering Gene? Survival Instinct? I Don’t Know But It’s Primal And Belongs To The 8th House