“So what happened anyway?” I asked regarding the soldier’s past lives. “How come you never got any love? What did you do? Just go to wars and fight and die?”

“Pretty much,” he said. “Some other stuff happened in some of my lives but mostly yeah. That was what I did.”

“So you would just go out and get killed young? Is that it?”

“Yeah, I did plenty of that. It took me a long time to learn to stay alive,” he said. “But that’s not the reason nobody loved me. I was alive long enough someone could have loved me if they were gonna.”

“No kidding,” I said trying to conceal my amazement, probably successfully. “I see.”

Continue reading Mars Pluto… Fight Or Die?

With a stellium in Capricorn and Saturn in contact with both Venus and Uranus it seems to me that how you fare now is entirely contingent on your relationship with reality and your willingness to go the long haul.

Integrity, maturity and commitment are the cards to have now and if you lack on these fronts you can pretty much expect to be slowly and methodically brought to your knees.

fortitude:

1: strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage

Got any?

I had another gal write, a Capricorn. She wanted to know what Capricorns can expect from Pluto’s transit through their sign and I think Capricorn can expect excellent results provided…

Provided they are a half-way decent Capricorns!

By that I mean that you act with some degree of integrity. You should have some humility about you and some decent boundaries. You should be willing to work, taking responsibility and running your own life not other peoples. You should be setting an example, showing up even when it’s hard and for Godsakes, not be whining as if this is going to kill you when it’s not. Class, man! Class like a goat going up a mountain.

Do you hear that goat complaining? Skinny legs and all, he/she is on her way and if you cultivate this image you are going to be not only okay, but empowered with Pluto in Capricorn. You are going to be a goat on steroids but if you are going to stand at the bottom of the hill and whine, well then to hell with you. As Capricorns, we are supposed to ascend. What is a non-climbing mountain goat good for anyway?
Continue reading Pluto In Capricorn – How Will Capricorn Fare?

Saturn went into Virgo and I noticed the boundaries (and limits… Saturn) of my mind (Virgo) kick in. For example, sometimes people email and want me to write about this or that. Sometimes I can do it but often times I can’t.

Sometimes I can’t do it because the thought or idea is foriegn and did not originate in me. Other times, I could write reams on the topic if only I weren’t up to my neck in the things and themes that have originated him me. This forces me to defer so I can stay on my own track which is sometimes inspired rather than write something flat on demand.

On the same theme, last night in the midst of a conflict, the soldier said, “Well you’re just going to have to figure it out in your own mind.”

“Well yeah, I’m going to use my mind to figure it out. Whose mind would I use if not my own?”

Anyone else noticed this? Integrity of thought?

Now my Scorpio ex-husband with Venus in Capricorn did something else of high integrity after our divorce. It’s almost shockingly abnormal until you hear about it at which point you realize it is utterly normal to do the right thing, even if hardly anyone ever does.

When we divorced, I felt very bad about it. I was wracked with guilt and the people around me fed this. He didn’t but the public did. With Neptune on the midheaven I am forever up against the public projections like that and I was just getting crushed so with Venus square Neptune, I just gave him the money… overly so.

Now this is per my nature. I don’t fight over money but about a year after our divorce the veil lifted and I realized the settlement really was unfair so I called him.

“I think the divorce is off. The money.”

“The same thing has occurred to me. How much do you think it’s off?”

“$27,000,” I said.

“Yeah, that sounds about right. I’ll send you a check tomorrow.”

And so he did.

I’ve noticed people frequently  make promises or various types of commitments to me and wind up not following through. I would say  1 person in 10 who promises me something ever actually delivers and I think the high failure rate is personal to me.

By that, I mean I think “integrity” is more common in the collective than this statistic would indicate. So I think the fact people over-promise where I am concerned has something to do with me.

And my best guess is the person moved and energized by me in some way which causes them to spill over and make huge, sweeping promises which they cannot or will not deliver when it gets right down to it. And their failure harms me each and every time. It just hurts me.

And I’ve been thinking about this lately because while I don’t think I can affect the frequency with which this occurs, I do think I can find some kind of (Jupiter) perspective that I can apply so this bothers me less.

So to this end, I’m asking:

It’s his (Scorpio) energy, he can direct it anyway he pleases…

Two years ago

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“They want me to play a concert at Carnegie Hall.”

“What? Really? Cool!!! I want to come.”

“Elsa, no. I don’t want to do it.”

“What do you mean? You’re kidding, right?”

“No, I’m not kidding. They flew all the way out here. They’re trying to talk me into but I… I just don’t think I want to do it,” he said. Continue reading Ben In The Spotlight… His Un-Comfort Zone: Carnegie Hall