I remember waking up one day with my life in shambles. There was a bad guy in the situation but I realized at some point I had set the whole thing up, myself. I was most definitely not conscious of what I was doing when I did it but that doesn’t excuse anything. Jeez, this was disturbing.

I called a friend to report my findings and she told me, no. She said it was all the man’s fault and that was when I realized there could be a cover-up.

I could most definitely cover this whole thing up and make the man the bad guy (and he was a bad guy) but I was just too drawn to my own shadow to do that. Excusing him to examine my own motivations just seemed a more interesting and compelling path so I took and what a horror it was.

This was about 15 years ago and what I turned up was quite gross. I discovered I was a base human being.

Continue reading Working With Your Subconscious Rather Than Waking Up To Devastation

I was talking to the soldier about my “people don’t change” theory…

“The other day I was taking care of a drunk,” I said. “How long have I been up to that?”

“You take care of everyone.”

“I do. I said I was not going to take care of people on that Dispatch but as it turns out, I may change who I take care of but I will still take care of them. I am still working. And what about you? You’re a soldier. You revert to your training. Nothing is going to change that. I know you make a conscious effort to live and fit in the civilian world.”
Continue reading His Scorpio Moon And My 8th House: Behavioral Patterns, Instincts Are Pretty Well Fixed, For Good Or Ill

I am always going on about feeling akin to an animal. I operate on instinct rather than intellect, as a matter of fact I am not even sure I have an intellect. Perhaps I have just a crotch and that’s all but in whatever case around here we do not deny the unseen world. We acknowledge it drives us and Dora is part of it. People who live low to the ground like this recognize each other the same way elevated people recognize each other, our lives are just a lot more gritty. (swearing below the break)
Continue reading Astrology And Pluto: Dora – Part Of The Animal Kingdom