Now you know the soldier has gathered songs about me and has his entire life. (The Box) What you don’t know is what a constant, unending quest this is. In the old days he would be in third world and have a song come to him and try to find it there, generally with very little luck. In other cases, he would find the song somewhere it never should have been but no matter what, once he had a song in his head he was hell bent to find it, and own it and he’s been at this 30 years.

With that in mind, we were in the Mexican restaurant waiting for our takeout when the gay waiter was talking to him… an immigrant. The soldier started talking out of the blue sky about how he heard this song years ago and always wanted to have it. He mentioned the band’s name in Spanish. Continue reading The Soldier And The Waiter And The Grand Cross In Action

My eye on the sky…

The Moon is in Pisces but there is nothing laid back about it considering its heading into aspect with Uranus (unpredictable), Jupiter (large), and then Mars (anger) and Pluto (eruption) over the weekend. I would say, poke those with planets at the mid to late degrees of the mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces) at your own risk.

Meanwhile the Sun is forming a T-square with the Saturn Neptune opposition and virtually all of us are caught in something we cannot escape… especially Scorpio who fills in this Grand Cross in the Fixed signs.

You can compare this to Star Trek chess. It’s a dynamic game with various levels of things going on and the smarter you are the more you perceive this. But there is also no need to fret, provided you have faith. Faith that everything works out for the best in the end, because it does.

Dear Mourning,

What an excellent question. I am very sorry for your loss and first need to tell you I have no ability connect with someone who has passed and transfer information. So I can’t tell you what your mother or your aunt may or may not know but I still think I may be able to help.

Having encountered more than my share of death in this life, I’ve been forced to develop some kind of philosophy about this because my natural reaction to loss was very similar to what you are experiencing. I just could not parse the deaths in my life and resolve them in a way that could bring me lasting peace. And part of the reason was that like in your case, the deaths came one after another, my feelings cascaded and I could not keep up.

But eventually I did find a way of seeing things that brought me a calm understanding around death that has held for about 15 years – so I’ll share it with you in the hope it helps.

You say you want some kind of connection with these women and with Venus (love/female) in the 8th (death/inheritance), the fact is that their energy flows very naturally to you. People with planets in the 8th house inherit the energy of the dead and carry their legacy whether they are aware of not. And since this is exactly what you’re seeking, this seems a fairly easy thing to resolve. Their energy is with you and I only need make you aware of this.

See when someone dies, that’s their body. There goes their body; they can no longer use it, but what about their energy? Their energy is still with us. And if you wonder if this is true, just think of a writer. The writer is dead, but their book is with us and anytime someone reads that book, they access the dead person’s energy. Their energy is right there, in their hands. So how can you say this person is gone? Their body is gone, their energy is here.

But what if the person did not write a book? No problem. They did something.

In this case, your mother had a baby: you. You are her energy. She made you just like that writer made that book. So how can she be gone when you’re still here? You are wearing her face, don’t you know this? Go look in the mirror and see your mother.

Further, I happen to know that you write. And don’t your mother’s words come through you at times? Don’t you use her phrasing or rephrase her ideas at times? If so, how can you say she’s not here? She is coming through you all the time. You express her energy… constantly. People who knew your mother look at you and see your mother so how can you say she is gone?

My grandfather (Henry) haunts this blog. When he died, I nearly died. But Henry has gone nowhere. Oh, his body is gone but he lives through me. I would not be me had he not been my grandfather, and I am here impacting people everyday – empowered by Henry who is dead. I am Henry’s legacy. And when I die, Henry will still live through my children and through the people who have read here and been moved by what I have to say which originated in Henry… and the person before Henry and the person before him (or her).

So this is my advice:come to see the truth. You are your mother and your aunt. You are an amalgamation of them and others and none of these people can ever leave you or you them, and mad?? You think they may be mad because you were not there when they died?

How do you know you weren’t there when they died? You may very well have been the last thing that crossed their minds. You’re the man with Venus in the 8th. You may have kissed them both sweetly right before they died. The physical body is joke. We are dealing with souls here.

I say, go live. You are what your mother has left behind to carry her energy and her message forward. You can honor the dead by living the best life you can on the on the energy they’ve bequeathed you. How can you love your lost ones and do anything less?

Much love and good luck.

~~
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On the Mars Neptune theme, how about trying to figure out God’s motive?

“Yeah, I survived SF and I might not have had I been with you,” he said. “I probably would have gotten killed if you were my wife.”

“Really? Why do you think that?”

“Oh, because I’d have been distracted. One of the reasons I never got killed was because I was never distracted. I maintained focus at all times and I am not sure I’d have been able to do that if you were my wife.”

“Why? How am I going to distract you? I’m not there.”

“Yeah, but I’d have been worried about you. I’d have been worried about not getting home to you and that might have fucked me up. See, P, I have always thought that you and I were meant to be together. But obviously God thought otherwise and he’s going to know better than me. And I accept this but I have always wondered what he was thinking when he separated us and this is one of the things I’ve come up with.” Continue reading The Soldier and P – 34: God, Marriage, Love, Death and Dying

Now regarding Bob Dylan, after writing that last blog, I mentioned it to the AMF who reminded me the story may not be true! Dylan is famous for making things up, specifically his history but I can’t see where this changes much. The story inspires… me!

Because I am a Saturn / Neptune type and routinely supported by imagined reality. But unlike Bob Dylan who is a lying Gemini, with Mercury in Gemini square Neptune, my stories are all true and I’ll tell you one of them.

I’ll tell you about my first epiphany which came when I was 8 years old. I call it the original Talking Pig and what happened was I in a very compromising position. I was in a life or death situation as far as I know when all of the sudden it was very clear to me, not only was I going to survive short term, but my life was going to be very long. Long, long, long. And I was not too happy about this at the time. In fact, I was infuriated!

And I’m sorry for how that sounds. It’s not depression, but Neptune. I would have preferred escape, see? Neptune in Scorpio, death as an escape. Get me out of here, but no. That was not what was going to be.

The Pig talked, or God talked, or perhaps my own little psyche talked. But in whatever case I came out of this experience knowing in my bones I was going to live a very long time. This was a fact that was unequivocal, so what do you suppose I did?

Well I’ll tell you. I believed this information and I believed it hard core. I knew this was true like I knew my name and once I knew it I could not un-know it. And I began to make all kinds of decisions based on this knowing.

For example, when I was 10, I mentioned I stole Henry’s truck and went to town! Because think about it. I’m a kid but I know I’m not going to die. So what’s the worst that can happen, hmm?

And you get the idea. I was a very, Very, VERY ballsy kid. And when I look back on my life I see that virtually everything I have ever done was colored by that experience and I don’t even know if it happened. Did it happen? Or did I imagine it happened? Caught in this crisis, did I simply make up (Neptune) reality (Saturn) on the spot?

So one day I was tending bar. I was legal by then, I was 19. And I was working in socks for some reason. Oh yeah! It was a costume and I like being barefoot.

But anyway of the customers looked over the bar and down at my feet. I guess he thought they were big or something because he said, “Jeez, Elsa, look at your feet. You’ve sure got a good grip on the earth.”

“You have no idea,” I said, smiling at him. Because obviously I knew I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

And there was another time. I was tending bar again. I was about 20, I guess. And some bastard was really giving me a hard time. And not very many people gave me a hard time back then, or ever in my life for that matter. Because I am not what you would call the easiest person to fuck with, but this guy was managing. He was sharp as a knife and mean as hell and he had me completely on the ropes and in agony.

But then the Pig came back to me. And I walked over to this guy and got right in his face, across the bar. I mean, I got inches away from him. He was about 35.

“Let me tell you something, you bastard,” I said. “You listen to me.”

“What?” he said. He was glad I’d come back for more and ready to slap me down.

“You’re going to die. You’re going to die and when you do, I’ll still be here,” I said with total confidence and conviction.

And at that, the whole bar cracked up and the guy slinked out of there soon after.

But you get my point. I have lived my entire life shored up (Saturn) by this illusory thing (Neptune) that happened when I was a kid. And it goes on to this day.

“Don’t worry,” I tell various people. “I will be there when you die. I’m pretty sure I’m not going anywhere. I will be very shocked if I do. I have a very long life, whether I like it or not…”

“Why not like it?”

“Because I will be left when you die.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I’d much rather get hit by a train, wearing earphones but that’s not what’s going to happen…”

And I feel so sure when I say these things. It’s as if they are simple facts. So here it is decades later and that Pig still plays. Like last year when I was called back after a routine mammogram for a 2nd look…

“Don’t worry. I doubt I have cancer and even if I do, obviously I’m going to survive it. Everyone knows my life is long. I just don’t get out like that. My life is much longer,” I said. “It’s longer by far.”

So there you go. I am the rare women going back to the doctor for a bad mammogram, completely devoid of fear and supported by… nothing.

And this is an example of hologram (Neptune) fear (Saturn) turned inside out. It’s hologram support that dissipates fear. And you see my point.

It doesn’t matter if I was an 8 year old with an epiphany from God, a girl with an overactive imagination, or I am just plain delusional. What’s real and verifiable is the fact that my reality (Saturn) morphed (Neptune) that day and in turn, my entire life has been enormously and favorably impacted by this illusory thing.

And when the information came to me, had I not believed…then nothing. There would have been no affect at all. Sort of like God throwing pearls before swine. (no pig pun intended )

Read more -> This Magic is More Mainstream Than You May Think…

Dear Lost,

Your “correct path” is something for you to judge. But thirty years ago, an Aquarian told me felt that everyone needed to be a big deal to someone. And my grandfather Henry, a Buddhist sort who lived as a hermit for a time, also went on record to say he did not feel it was healthy to isolate. Last, my friend HQ who edits the advice on this blog told me he felt life was very hard and he could not imagine trying to go it alone. And I agree with each of these people. I just think people need love to thrive. So what about your chart?

Well you don’t look like a recluse to me! You’re primarily Taurus and Scorpio which are both signs with a great need to connect. But these are Fixed signs, loathe to change course and this is what I imagine is causing you the problem.

It sounds as if in the throes of of the pain of betrayal, your Scorpio Moon amputated “relationships” and this is no surprise. You cauterized to stop the bleeding. But now a habit has formed. You’re in a Taurus rut. And when you’re this fixed, you could go a long, long time in this desert without a drink if you don’t make a conscious effort to change course. Which I think is what you actually want, otherwise why write me?

So here’s a path out. And there is more than one of course. But this is the most liberating, long term that I can think of:

You have to face the cheating. Some people cheat! It can happen. And while it’s nice to use your spider senses to try to suss out who can be trusted and who cannot it, is even nicer to understand that if you hook up with someone and they betray you… well, you’ll survive it. This is the only way to be free, see?

And believe it or not, if you can adopt this attitude, you are much less likely to be cheated on. It’s like a law of nature. Whatever your terror is… well frequently the universe will deliver exactly that, over and over and over until you are no longer scared!

Now I have never cheated on anyone in my life, so I am pretty good bet on the loyalty front. But the other day my lover who is a Scorpio told me he would be very surprised if I were to betray him. “And hurt,” he said. “But I’d get over it…”

So there you go. That right there can be your blueprint. See, you’ve already proved you can survive betrayal, so why not take credit?

Good luck.

~~
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