Six years ago…

“I wanted to ask you something,” I said.

“What? Shoot, Elsa. Shoot.”

“I want to write one of your stories.”

“My stories? Go ahead.”

“No, I need specific permission.”

“I just gave it to you.”

“No. I want to write something ultra personal. I’ve just been thinking about this non-stop and I think it’s something I should do. You know how your parents took your journals when you were a kid?”

“Yes, Elsa,” he said sounding solemn.

“They stole your writing. And your drawing. They took it from your room without your knowledge or consent.” Continue reading Ben In The Spotlight… His Un-Comfort Zone: Parenting Scorpio Children and Betrayal

Dear Abandoned,

There is no way to spin this experience so that you come out less traumatized and I feel horrible for you. There is no crueler way to break up with someone and all I can do is try to give you a clear read from the outside in the hopes it brings small comfort.

First, I think you are well within your rights to do anything you want. Write, call, or show up wherever he might be to confront him if you think this will help you heal. However, I don’t think he’s coming back. And it’s been long enough now you’d be well advised to let your thinking and your feelings shift from holding out hope to beginning to accept the reality that you wouldn’t want him back. Because would you?

Regardless of what you had (and I believe it was substantial), you are a Scorpio with four planets in the sign and you must see this man cannot be trusted. He has shattered your relationship totally, and utterly betrayed and abandoned you… and what this makes him is a loser! Seriously. And tell you something else.

He won’t get away with it. If you wonder if he’s just skipping along with his new man, I assure you, he is not. You just can’t pull this kind of thing and be okay. On the surface, maybe. But on a deeper level this is going to gnaw at him until the end of time unless he surfaces and makes some effort to do right by you.

Not that you should wait for that! You have to start looking forward and as painful as this is, you are 22 years old. And you are going to have all kinds of experiences. You are going to meet better men for sure! In fact, someday you’ll look back and thank your lucky stars you got rid of this guy when you did, because anyone who would do this to their lover is worthless like a 3 dollar bill.

And I know you have to mourn but be specific about it. Mourn the fact you invested in an empty vessel, not the misguided notion you have lost the best man in the world. Because people with soul don’t behave like this and people with no soul? Well the sooner you can break with them, the better.

Be proud. You did nothing wrong. And have some faith because in the larger scheme there is a reason for this, like the universe clearing the decks, making space so the new and better man can come into the picture. Wanna bet?

You’re going to be okay.

Much love and good luck.

~~
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Dear Sagittarian,

I don’t blame you for being intimidated. I am pretty sure I would be intimidated of me too! But if you read here long enough, I think it becomes apparent my focus is on helping whoever shows up and once you see my motives are clean, I think it becomes easier to deal with me. But on to your problem…

This is no way to live. Especially for a double Sagittarius! You’re supposed to be righteous, you know. But I see Saturn in your chart and understand your fear. You’re like that horse stuck in a hole which is a gut-wrenching picture… so I am going to try to get you out of there and if you find yourself loose – for Godsakes, run!

Now you have to play to your strengths and you have five planets in Sadge. So what are your strengths? One of them is storytelling! So how about I tell you a story?

This is the story of your greatest fear. Let’s say your man cheats on you. Not only does he cheat, but you find out like this woman did, that he is cheating with multiple partners! And not only that. One of them is your sister and the other your cousin! And one more thing! He screwed your best friend as well and your second best friend and her sister and her sister’s dog!

Oh no!

Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!

But think about it. What if that actually happened? If every single thing I just wrote were to occur, what would come next in the story, huh?

Would you die?

No…

Would you kill him?

No… I mean you may want to, but you’re not a killer.

The fact is, if all this happened, it would get you FREE. Isn’t that funny? Because if he did all this… you’d just up and leave him! And further, you’d have a hell of a story to tell wouldn’t you? So you’re coming out okay, don’t you think? I think so! And I think like a Sadge! And I think you ought to think like a Sadge as well, because you’re the one with Mercury (the mind) in Sagittarius!

So can you do it? Of course. Will you do it? I hope so. And yes. Tell your Sagittarius boyfriend (who is supposed to travel) to change his password. Tell him the Sagittarius truth so you can both be free Sagittarians. Scared to do that? Think of the story…

“I told him I read his email and that was it! He left me in two seconds and after that, I…”

See? Life is an adventure and the adventure goes on. And one more thing.

If you do get your high mind back, for Godsakes when you see another sink hole… an exposed password for example, stay way, way, way back. Just keep that horse picture in your head and that ought do it.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Neighbor,

You did not elaborate, so I am not sure why this is excruciatingly difficult for you. I don’t think it would cause me a problem at all, so I’ll offer my perspective and maybe it will alter yours.

First, you are living next to two individuals. That they are a father and son is irrelevant. One of them, the son, decided to confide in you. Considering you’re a double Scorpio, I imagine he made a good decision because I don’t think you are going to betray him and you didn’t go screaming from the room when a 15 year old wanted to talk about sex. Taboo sex this is, at least in his immediate environment so I think he made a good decision in sharing this with you.

So where is the problem? Is it all this mutable energy in your chart? The mutable signs want to communicate and perhaps you think you need to pass this information along? Well, you don’t.

We have responsibility in this life to ourselves and the people around us. This kid needs support from someone he can trust. Let that be you and you’ll both be empowered. From there, just move along with the rest of your day.

Good luck.

When Ben was a boy…early teens I guess, he was keeping a journal. He was writing, drawing, or both. I don’t really know because he didn’t elaborate. And his parents were trying to have him “fixed” and stuff, remember? They were hell bent on fixing his homosexuality and then they came across his journal.

First the read it, and that is horror enough, but they didn’t stop there. They took it a psychiatrist to have it analyzed and they didn’t stop there either. They made COPIES and took it to SEVERAL psychiatrists. Apparently they were looking for one who would tell them what they wanted to hear.

And maybe some air sign doesn’t think this is a big deal. But to Scorpio…well to Ben, it was like he’d been stabbed in the chest, had the knife twisted only to be rolled over and stabbed in the back. This invasion and betrayal sent him reeling and feeling intense and immense pain at a core level and bottom line, he did not make it through it alive.

The experience killed a piece of him because here it was thirty years later and he still…he still refused to write anything down. He doesn’t draw, either. He swore “never again” and I’ll tell you something. When a Scorpio amputates, they don’t go back and try to resurrect the dead thing.

And my point in telling this story is to warn parents who may be less sensitive than their Scorpio child, to hopefully spare some kid. Because there is a loss here that is immeasurable.

My friend is a musician and a teacher who garners standing ovations for both his talent and his character. He is the teacher who walks into the gym during an assembly to have the kids stand and cheer. Yeah. And when he talks, I listen and I wonder.

I really wonder what he had to say that will not be written. Did he draw well? We are never going to know because this part of him died the day he learned that his parents took this intimate piece of himself and shopped it around. So grave the pain, well this is the reason not to betray your Scorpio child. You’ll kill them. Is that a good enough reason?

Scorpio will be betrayed at some point in their life. A wound like this is unavoidable. But as a parent you can make sure you’re not the one who inflicts it. And I have permission to tell this story, of course.

~~

“Can I write that?” I asked. “I would like to write this for parents of children like you. I know it’s personal, but someone might read it. Your story is stark and some kid could be spared.”

“Some kid could be spared? Write it. I’ve already told you can write anything you want about me. And if it helps some kid? Write! Write, write, write, little Elsa. Write until your heart is content.”

And so I have.

The End

I am going to write about these biracial artists for awhile. Because I happen to know and love four of them and their stories all intertwine. Come to think of it, my mother is a biracial artist so I guess that explains a lot, huh? ::smiles::

Anyway, I have a lot of stories about my friend, Ben and this is one of them. I’ve known Ben for about twenty years. He’s a Scorpio with an Aquarius rising. He’s a cellist and an extraordinary man. He’s enormously talented and has transformed the lives of many hundreds of children over many years in a “Mr. Holland’s Opus” kind of way but he is much better than the movie. He is more talented, more fascinating, more powerful, more charismatic and more magnetic than Mr. Holland, and he is been teaching cello long enough to have his student play alongside him in the symphony orchestra. Very simply, he’s doing a bang up job with his life and I don’t think they make any finer.

Ben is a gay man who has never known a closet. Both he and his family were aware of his homosexuality at a pre-teen age. He was caught with another boy actually, and his parents had a fit, characteristic of the era and probably too often still true today. They shamed him terribly and tried various methods of changing what was his essence, which were all fruitless of course.
Ben forgives his parents the past. He forgives them because he’s intellectually sophisticated. He allows people to hold their own views. He has thought his way out of this. If you don’t like gay people, he’s not concerned about it.

It’s very similar to how I feel about astrology. It’s a waste of time to chase validation or approval from people for who you are. ClichÆ’