Everyone I meet starts out being trusted but if you ever jack me up, that goes out the window and I’d rather never see you or hear from you again. If our paths do cross, I’ll avoid eye contact. It’s a total shunning. I’ll look right through you until the end of time.

But oddly, I don’t suffer much when I am betrayed. I tend to think it’s your problem if you betray me. Like it’s your problem if you cheat on me or some other kind of thing you are not supposed to do. I just don’t think it has anything to do with me if you’re lousy.

Continue reading How Do You Handle Betrayal?

Great question, thank you. Sometimes I say these things knowing they are home truths but not knowing no one knows what I am talking about!

First, I did not specify “back”. It has nothing to do with being stabbed in the back. I am talking about being stabbed, period. When someone stabs you, there is an energy exchange. If someone hits you, same thing. If someone oppresses you in any way they are giving you energy. If someone kisses you, same thing. If they yell at you or if they give you a present, they are transferring their energy to you and at the point the energy is yours and therefore it is yours to use.
Continue reading 8th House Perspective… Stabbed In Back? No Problem!

My son just did some maneuver online and it came to me like a bolt from the sky… if he were to find out something bad about me, find out his mother was a liar or had some kind of secret life, he would really be devastated. There are people you just don’t think will do certain things and when (if) they do them, it must boggle the mind.

My husband told me once, he’d be really shocked if I cheated on him. He said he’d be devastated and in disbelief because he’d just not think I’d be capable of betraying a person like that, any person.

Like everyone else, I have been betrayed but I have never blindsided and I hope I never am.

Has anyone ever really, really, really let you down without warning. Do you remember the transit?

Debby writes:

“My mother has a stellium in Scorpio – Sun, Mercury, Venus and Jupiter, and Pluto aspects at least her Sun and Venus. Manipulative she may be, but I can’t remember her betraying me or breaking my confidence even once. I’m kinda surprised about the Scorpio/8th house reference on this thread in connection with betrayal as she has a Scorpio stellium and I have an 8th house stellium and we exchange some Pluto aspects in synastry and mutual loyalty and confidence were so natural and obvious that I can’t even remember talking about it, we just took it for granted and it was never a problem. We also didn’t talk about how it was wrong to tell other people’s secrets – it was something I just knew. She never told other people’s secrets as far as I know, she also hates gossip.”

Continue reading Betrayal, Gossip, Exposing A Person’s Secrets, Talking Behind Their Backs – POLL

I was just talking to denamaria yesterday, we have similar natures.  Lots of  Cap and Libra that is. I haven’t talked to her in weeks because I was on vacation and she’s been out of the country but we finally caught up. I told her about some people who betrayed me and she told me about some people who betrayed her. We agreed over the audacity of people who do this kind of thing and still talk to you. What the hell are they thinking?

denamaria lost her job awhile back, you may recall.  She’s recovered since because she’s and excellent worker but has learned that her “friends” orchestrated it. They told her all about it; how they had to screw her up to save themselves. They are now out of work too and expecting sympathy. They obviously felt their actions were justified  since they’re talking all about it and it just goes to show the variance in the standards people have.

Continue reading Betrayal? Says Who? Does Libra Invite Betrayal?

From 2007 -

Recently someone I have been close to and confided in showed themselves to be… unsavory. I have trusted this person but no longer do which means I now have to mop up.

“Well, I imagine he’ll ask if I’m mad,” I told a friend.

“Are you mad?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I have no idea how I feel. I think it’s more like there was a relationship and it’s just… erased. I can’t see bothering to figure out how I feel because I am not going to communicate it anyway. I’ve thought about this for days and determined there is no way to go forward so..? How could I possibly trust this guy again?”

“No, you definitely can’t trust him.”

Continue reading Ask the Collective: How Do You Handle Betrayal?

From 2007:

“So did you confront him?” I asked regarding my friend’s cheating husband.

“No. No I did not. I thought about it but then I thought why should I do that?”

I could think of a lot of reasons but it was obvious she had her own thought process so I just listened.

“I’m not going to do that. I won’t do that for them.”

“What do you mean?”

Continue reading 3 Years Ago On The Elsa Blog: She’s a Woman’s Woman With Sisters All Over This Land: One Of Them Is Cheating With Her Husband – Redux

I was faced with this question over the weekend. I have an alcoholic friend who recently hit bottom and found her way to AA. This is the first time she has ever shown up at their door. She has been in denial about the severity of her problem but when she hit bottom, she did so with such a thud, she was in a meeting the next day and she has been going regularly ever since.

I am very proud of her and understand enough about addiction to know her sobriety is precarious and I feel very protective of her. Actually, I feel very protective of anyone who is trying to right their life so when I found out someone in this gal’s inner circle was blabbing on her… well, what to do?

The gossip was revealing highly personal details about this gal’s last night drinking and the person who told me about it was snickering. He was mocking her which told me a lot about how this information was shared. It was catty. So do I call her and let her know?

I thought about this long and hard. You don’t want to jeopardize a person’s sobriety and I wondered if this was a case of, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you.” But on the other hand she’s got a fox in the henhouse, you know?

In the end I called her and she was terribly hurt. She told me she had been warned about this girl before but had overrode her better judgment… we all know how that goes.

It’s a few days later and today we spoke again. She said she dipped down pretty low, having the information but had steeled herself and said she now felt stronger and more resolved to be sober. I was greatly relieved.

I really don’t know that I did the right thing. But I realize with Mars conjunct Mercury in the righteous, up front and blurting 9th house, I really don’t have the capacity to look at a friend and withhold information that is pertinent to them. What about you?

If you know someone is talking (nasty) behind someone’s back, do you tell them? Why or why not?

My son continues to have his terrible year and yesterday he found himself in circumstances where it occurred to him his mother may have betrayed him.

Now his mother did not betray him and he would not expect me to betray him so all the more painful for him to find himself unexpectedly and inexplicably in a situation where the most likely explanation was, ‘My mother did / told what I asked her not to… and now here I am, up a creek.” And that’s pretty brutal for an 8 year old, especially a serious-minded one like my son. What does it mean when / if your mother betrays you? Continue reading Sun Conjunct Saturn @ 8 Years Old – Betrayed By His Mother?

Last night. We were catching up…

“Oh,” I said. “And this person and this person surface now and then.”

“They do? Well they both betrayed you and terribly. What are they doing showing up in your life now?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Who do they think they’re dealing with?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t understand people who think they can do things like that and then come back. What do they think they are going to be able to say to you? Do they think you would have them do that to you once and you’d ever let them do it to you again?” he laughed. “I can’t believe they don’t know you better than that.”

“I don’t know. I have no idea what they think. What they’re doing is independent of me so I have no idea about it. And I can’t say I care one way or the other. They’ve gotten rid of me for good.”

“Yes, Elsa, they’ve done that.”

“And as to why they come back, who knows? I don’t know why people betray someone like me in the first place so what they do next is definitely beyond my imagination. They used to be part of my life but they’re operating outside my realm now. They can do whatever they want. They will never touch me, I have already been burned. It’s too bad but I don’t worry about them anymore. They’re on their own and can do whatever they like… they just can’t do it with me.”

Are you a Scorpio? What’s your 8th house look like?