Someone named Jamie is amusing me greatly, making comments on some of the old blogs. She’s most notably present on “A Jupiter Story For Y’all” which I posted in May, 2006.

It’s a story from when I was19 and Babe, Pig in the City. I was getting on the first plane of my life and come to think of it, I was more “Piglet in the City” back then, as I remain “Babe-ish” to this day, though most certainly a full grown pig at this point.

Anyway, she is commenting on Part 2, I think so you can go read if you like -> Jupiter Story – Part two, or if you have never read the story it starts here -> Jupiter story – Part one, and then just follow the links at the bottom of each blog.

~~

Now the gal I was “mean” to a few days ago… “Friends Dating – Crisis Results“, has also surfaced and I’m glad she did. I can’t explain everything all the time, but now and then I want to and this is a good chance for that to.

Most of the people who write me are strangers. But not all of them. And this gal in particular, I had some knowledge of. And believe me, she is a stout chick. I guess you can tell this by her writing so you might imagine my surprise hearing her sound so completely freakishly consumed with the minutiae of these other people’s lives. Further, I cut 1/3 of her post! Yes. And I thought this out of character for her.

So when I wrote her response, I did not take any care. I just spoke to her as if she was a long time friend of mine who knows who I am. Because although she is not specifically a friend, she has been reading my blog(s) for a long time, and believe me I can be much, much, much ruder than that!

However, it was not my intention to be rude. It was my intention to tell her what I really thought which is why people write me, I think. To quote the AMF from a few months ago when something like this came up…

“What do they expect? This isn’t Dear fuckin’ Abby they’re writing! And no one ever said it was…”

And it’s hard to argue with that, isn’t it?

So anyway, the main thing I am trying to say, is on that blog where I was so rude… that was actually the best love I have. Because it’s so hard to find someone who will tell you what they really think. Consequently, it makes it very hard to progress if you are stuck in something like this.

It’s like being caught on a branch when you’re supposed to be floating down the river. You ask your pal, “Hey man. Am I stuck on a branch, here?”

“Well golly gee. I don’t know. Maybe you are. Maybe you aren’t. Maybe you should ask a few dozen more people. Sheesh, man. I hope you figure it out…”

So there you go. There’s your non-offensive but worthless answer. Which is not what I deal in, obviously.

I think direct questions deserve direct answers so that’s what this blog is about and will always be about. And this is what I am about and will always be about. So if you need an Excedrin after reading here, oh well. That’s like going to see a surgeon and then complaining it hurt where he/she cut you. Well come on! You’re off your branch, aren’t you?

So I just wanted to say this. It was fun for me to write and hopefully fun for you to read.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Dear Fickle,

Congratulations on defining your problem, plenty of people never manage. You can absolutely learn to relate better to women and with Saturn in aspect to your natal Venus, Moon square, “learn” is the right word. Venus and the Moon relate to women and relationships and your chart shows definite challenges here. To solve them will take some humbling.

With Pluto and Uranus conjunct your Sun in Virgo, you are a very powerful force. It’s not the problem per se. The problem is specific to your ego. It’s huge! With Venus in Leo, your ego is as big as a room and I am afraid you may be a little overboard in believing yourself queen. Because guess what? You are not the only woman who wants to be queen.

If you think about this you can see how you would not have as much trouble with men. It’s because you do not compete with them. They are King to your Queen, so all good! And this is where your answer lies.

If you can learn to humble yourself… to discipline your ego so you can see the Queen in other women, you will be well on your way to forming the long-lasting, supportive relationships with other women you crave.

Good luck.

pictured – Portrait of Queen Victoria, 1859, Franz Winterhalter

Consult with Elsa

Dear Girl In Love,

There is no choice. You have to just live. You have to let your life, and your love, and your future unfold. And I know you are a Capricorn. And I know you would like to control this situation because you are frightened. But you must continue to struggle against your urges because any tricks you pull will backfire in the long run.

So here’s what I would do: I would continue to love my man, if I loved him, because you can’t control that either, can you? And I would act with total integrity. This is just essential for Capricorn. Forget about his fear… you’re the one who is afraid. You’re afraid he’s going to leave, remember? And you can tell him this, you know. It is perfectly fine to be the way you are, and to talk to him about this… and if you do, listen carefully to what he says.

Because if he tells you repeatedly that this is what he wants to do, that he wants to have this adventure and he wants to have it alone… that he feels this is his destiny, then it’s your job as his lover and his friend to let him go. And if you do, he might just come back. And if he doesn’t?

Well you’ll be a class act, girl. And not that many are. And do you think a woman who is a class act – a stand-up and considerate friend and partner – has trouble finding a great man? She doesn’t.

So this is my advice. Just be honest and act in a way that makes you feel proud of yourself, and you really can’t go wrong. Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Dear Venus,

You are doing a lot of things right and should be very proud. For one thing, you are not playing the victim – which is always the downfall of Pisces. Instead, you are taking a critical look at your own behavior in this last relationship, and your willingness to do this that will save you.

Discrimination is a great skill. It is a Virgo skill, the sign opposite Pisces… and an ability Pisces commonly lacks. It is especially key for you in relationships – not just because you are a Pisces, but because you have both Venus in Pisces and Neptune on the descendant.

Anyway you turn it, you have the propensity to do exactly what you describe above. That is: know something is not right, but opt to ignore, or obscure it so that you can do the Pisces things… sacrifice yourself.

It’s all good until the veil drops and then look the fuck out! So this is your answer. Cultivate Virgo! A Virgo friend would be a good idea. Someone who can offer clarity when it eludes you and you begin to slip into patterns that are destructive.

And this is not to say you can avoid service, or all time spent hanging from a cross. Because that is not realistic. You’re Pisces maaan. You must serve or suffer, but you can learn to filter. You can decide who and what is worthy, and to do this effectively you have to be able to access what is real.

Last, just because you brought it up… I suspect you moving was a very good idea. Uranus is transiting Pisces and it’s time for change.

Good luck and ps… Happy Birthday!

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Good Morning, Double Aquarius, biracial, gay cellist, deep-thinking, hard-working writer with one of the most exquisite charts I have ever seen in my life.

People with Saturn square the Sun and Moon are plagued with feeling that they suck!!! They can’t possibly be ‘good enough” just the way they are. So they generally try to compensate, by becoming the best at whatever they do. Do you play the living shit out of your cello? I bet you do.

This is a very hard problem to work with. Time brings some relief, but that’s not much help when you’re in your young twenties trying to feel good about yourself. So here again…you need to pick your friends.

Anyone who criticizes you should be out on their ass. That’s the last thing you need. You want to form and invest in relationships with people who support (Saturn) and empower (Pluto) you.

But to do this, you are going to have to internalize the idea that you are in fact worthy. And I am trying to help you on that front, by devoting most of this week to work on your chart – something unprecedented on my blog. And it’s not because I feel sorry for you. It’s because I think you are worth investing in. Actually, I know you are worth investing in.

So anyway, you’re going to have to work on your tendency to feel as if you are flawed. First by restricting access to people who nurture these kinds of feelings in you… while simultaneously increasing your exposure to people who hold you up. And people like that are out there, don’t you doubt it.

Beyond this, it’s an internal fight. Like a child who has been berated by a parent. Get rid of the parent, and the grown child replays the devastating messages. You need to work hard not to punish yourself in this way. And it can be subtle at first. “I can’t figure this out…” becomes “I am figuring this out…”

What that is, is hope. And hope is a Jupiter thing. And Jupiter is the antidote to Saturn. Despair (Saturn) versus the belief that things will improve (Jupiter). Get it? You want to cultivate the “Jupiter” end of this equation. Find some optimists for friends. Some people who are buoyant and make you laugh.

That is why I am calling you that name by the way. ‘Double Aquarius, biracial…” It’s to make you smile.

Tomorrow, focus on relationships…

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Dear Lover,

I feel very sorry for you. You “met” him when you were fourteen? And nine years have passed? Please listen to me.

You need to get away from this man who has hijacked your life. What you are is a hostage… who is sympathetic with the very person oppressing them. Ever heard of the Stockholm Syndrome?
Read about it.

Fourteen years old is a baby. Seriously. And this guy managed to get a hook into you and keep it there for nearly half your life! Well I’ll tell you what. He is a bullshit hologram and here’s what I think you should do:

Cut off all contact. Go completely underground. Imagine a noose around your neck. You’re going to slip out, okay? In the night, while he is sleeping. Slip out and once clear, run and don’t look back.

Where are you running to? Well, anywhere is better than where you are. It does not get worse than this.

I’d also encourage you to find some support. You need all the support you can get, because you have been mind-fucked beyond belief. And that’s okay. Because I don’t think you are weak. You are very strong and I know you can find your way out of this.

Get a therapist if there is anyway possible. Call and beg for help if you have to. Because as far as I am concerned, your life is at stake here, as is your soul.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…