Hi,
I used to date this guy I met 6 years ago. We were inseparable during internship and I started to like him as we got to know each other more. I was cautioned by my friends that he might be gay.
During one drinking session with our friends, he dared me to bite his upper lip in front of other people… as I played along with the dare, he grabbed me and we torridly kissed in front of all my friends. Ever since that night, we started to became really close but never really made out… after our month-long internship, we kept in touch by sending cards and calling each other… we always ended up our phone conversations with, “I love you and always will…”
As the months went by, I did start to fall for him… however, I somehow ended up frustrated because I felt he didn’t reciprocate how I felt for him. He left for the US while I stayed in the Philippines but as the years went by, we managed to keep in touch.
Six years later I found myself in the same neighborhood where he is currently staying… I sent him an email. We met up for dinner and found out that he now has a guy live-in partner and is in love. We have been spending a lot of time together and we have so much fun. Up until now, we have this indescribable attraction towards each other that makes me think if he is Gay or bisexual.
I don’t think his partner knows that we kissed before. There are times I can sense that his partner is envious of the chemistry we have as close friends though my friend tries his best to make his partner feel secure and that his love and attention is all for his partner.
Even though I have a boyfriend who is back in the Philippines, I end up with dreams of kissing my gay friend again and being intimate with him. It is hard to be away from my boyfriend like this, as I know I can feel some sort of attraction towards my gay friend. I feel that he is bisexual but i can’t really say. I’m so confused. I think it would make me feel better if I could find out that he is not bisexual… how will I know if he is gay or bisexual?
Lusting
Dear Lusting,
I think your friend is utterly and totally gay. If he had any sexual interest, I am sure he’d have let you know by now. And that kiss? People do all kinds of things when they are drunk. For example if I get drunk, I walk crookedly! When I am sober, I don’t! Get it? The kiss was an aberration that was done on a dare six years ago!
So enough about him, let’s talk about you. You have a Pisces Moon exactly square Neptune and it appears your fantasy life trumps reality. Because in reality, you are with no man. Your boyfriend is in another country and your other boyfriend is gay. And furthermore, he is in love and committed to his boyfriend!! Gettin’ the picture?
And there is nothing wrong with what you’re doing. I like to dream things up too! But you’ve got come back to earth now and then which I guess is why you wrote me. For a reality check, so here it is: your friend is gay and you like to fantasize.
Carry on.
Elsa, thanks for the chuckle – I love your “realiy check” bullet point style. 🙂
I kissed my friend when he was high on acid once and he knawed on my upper lip. Then we carried on.
On another note, crushing on obviously gay friends is not a good idea. Please don’t harass him about a kiss 6 years ago to find out if he is ‘not bisexual’ just to make yourself ‘feel better.’ He’s with a man, and the proof is in the pudding. Er, yeah.