Mars transits to natal Mars…. put the ego down and no one gets hurt.

mars warrior godI rarely get my shorts in a bunch over short term transits; I’m usually too busy wringing my hands in anxiety over the long termers; however, there is one transit that I always put on my radar: Mars hard transits to natal Mars.

I have a somewhat, ehrm…. “stubborn” Mars at the last degree of Taurus, so I know that when it gets triggered, some event is likely to “get my goat” and I’m going to put on the “moral outrage” panties and likely want to “set things straight”. Example: last time Mars squared natal Mars, I was at a field I take my dogs to… behind a school. Usually, no one’s there and I can let my Wildchild dog run around and my other, obedient, ball obsessed dog and I get down to serious dogball. But when I entered the field, a woman was there with 2 unleashed dogs, one of which decided to run straight up to mine. I never take the leash off Wildchild unless I have a clear field, so the leash stayed on, and I braced myself. Wild- child will absolutely love a chance to snark at a charging dog, so I am waving my chuck-it around wildly and screaming “call your dog!! CALL YOUR FUCKIN’ DOG!!!” The lady squeaks out “oh, come here, Rover (or whatever), and starts SLOWLY walking up, meanwhile Wildchild is going apeshit barking and pulling me and begging me to let him at it. Long story short, she gives me some bullshit about how it’s her son’s dog and brings him back to where they were on one end of the field. Oh, WHATEVER– it’s like the people who say “my dog’s a rescue” when their dog is horribly misbehaving. Pet peeve of mine (pardon the pun). I go to the other end of the field. I keep Wildchild unhappily on leash, and play chuck it with Good Girl. Ooops, here comes Rover again, tearing across the field, there I am again with the chuckit waving rapidly and screaming, and there’s the milquetoast owner again, slowly sauntering over. By now I am out of my mind with anger, wanting to just let Wildchild off the leash and teach that stupid dog and its owner a lesson. Instead, I pack it in and go home. But… I am telling you… the RAGE I was feeling was crazy. I am old enough now to recognize rage that is way out of proportion to the event that is triggering it. And as always, it’s my Ego that tells me I am entitled to feel this rage, and it’s my Ego that tells me I should put the dogs in the car, walk back to that field and tell that witch that if I ever see her and her little dog again, I am going to let Wildchild do what will come naturally to him, and will be happy about it. Driving away without doing that feels like DEPRIVATION. It feels WRONG– my Ego is screaming YOU’RE A PANSY at me. But through experience, I know that once I am home, and get the dogs in the house, I will get over it, quickly.

If I hadn’t had such a strong reaction, if I had been able to keep one sensible thought in my head instead of a Mars-driven Ego fueled maniacal RAGE, I would have been able to go to her and tell her that until her dog is trained, it’s only fair to keep it on a leash so that I can enjoy my time playing ball and that I keep Wildchild on a leash precisely because he is not so good when other dogs are present… that’s how we all play fair at the field. Now *that* would have been an excellent use of healthy Mars energy. But there was no way I was going to have that kind of a sane conversation when the Ego was out. I was *crazy* angry. Hence, I had to take a time out, and quick.

In hindsight, we can usually see when we are having an overreaction. In many of those cases, Mars squares and oppositions to natal Mars may be triggering it; although I will admit that my Moon in Scorpio also tends to put on flaming red outrage panties when Mars is around, as well. But who can blame her.

Where is your Mars? What fuels your anger?

 

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Mars transits to natal Mars…. put the ego down and no one gets hurt. — 38 Comments

  1. I know it’s not the point of your post but your dog story reminded me of yesterday.

    I met a friend for coffee at the beach and we walked her dogs. Dogs are allowed on the beach at this time of year and one owner had her two huskies unleashed and they kept bothering my friend’s dog. We kept walking but they kept running up to us with their owner lagging behind.

    Further on we met another couple and the huskies ran up to them. The guy was kneeling down to deal one of his own dogs and then suddenly one of the huskies cocked its leg and peed on him!

    Unsurprisingly my friend was very quick to say “That’s not my dog” and we got walking before the husky’s owner arrived …

    • oooh, another anorectic Mars. How’s that revenge thing working out for you? Has it ever backfired? My Scorpio Moon used to get really sick from all the poison I sat in; I gave up revenge for Lent one year.

      • Lol…revenge is a righteous expression of resentment for me. Unexpressed anger is like drinking poison and waiting for the other guy to die. Lol. So, I express it, whenever I must. It’s air for my soul, I suffocate otherwise (note – my sun asc are conjunct n squared by jupiter, read : inflated ego)

  2. Things sure can get heady without emotion. Before you know it we’re asking 18 month olds if they would like the blue or red toy. Or worse talking to our 10 year old like they are our friend. Doesn’t help them grow up. What is the definition of ego?

    • Ann, that is ***such*** a good question. Some people would say that “Ego” is healthy and should be expressed no matter what. But what I’m talking about in this post is ego that has (basically) taken the bit in its mouth and is running full-tilt, no matter the cost. That’s why I mentioned the reaction I had to NOT acting… at first I felt DEPRIVED. I thought I *deserved* to be able to tell her off. But the way I was going to tell her off wasn’t helpful, it would have been hurtful. And yeah, she ruined my good time, shouldn’t I ruin HERS? But in the end, that kind of retaliation, for me, does not lead to me feeling “good”. It leads to me feeling like a bully.

      I don’t know how one goes about teaching this distinction to children, because, frankly, I really didn’t learn it until mine were pretty much grown up! I don’t see anything wrong with asking the kid if he wants blue or red; he learns he can have preferences. But the “talking to a 10 year old like they are our friend”… WELL… huge pet peeve of mine, and teaches the kid some kind of false self-importance where they then start to interject themselves into every adult conversation, they eschew children’s conversations where they are forced to learn how to play on a level playing field, because the adults all shut up when the kid talks, out of fear that they will look “intolerant” because someone’s kid thinks he’s on the same level as an adult. Blech!

  3. Good (an)other one, Diane!! Mars is conjunct Saturn conjunct Pluto for extra value in Leo, all in the 8th and 7th houses. With the transiting Mars through Sagittarius aspecting transiting Saturn there’s a close to opposition energy going on for me. Doing the right thing because it the right thing to do is a lifetime legacy lesson. I gave up Lent decades ago, so my dramatic Mars energy has found a very long and quirky leash (nodding to your dog park teaching story) from the sextile it has natally with Uranus in the 6th House. That Uranus is in Gemini, so my leash is made of stories that wind, squeeze and twist meaning into medicine. I step away from the battles but leave the lessons all over the place and remind myself keep my ears peeled listening more often to things than to beings.to the “breath of the Ancestors”, like the old Sweet Honey in the Rock lyrics.

    • oh that’s a really powerful Mars, Mokihana!!! The phrase “are you a good witch, or a bad witch?” immediately popped up when I pictured that configuration! I love the next visual of “wind, squeeze and twist meaning into medicine”!!

  4. Oh Diane, I know that rage. I have moon in Scorpio too and my natal sun squaring Mars.It’s so huge and all-consuming it wipes out any ability to think rationally and effectively. There is no cognition, no comprehension beyond what the source of your anger is doing wrong. Back that up with a damn good reason to be angry like you had with the dogs and RAWWWRRRRR!!!!!! Also, you do realize you need to design a line of lingerie called Outrage Panties immediately. 🙂

  5. I once walked past a large dog that suddenly reared up at me barking wildly with teeth bared on a city street. It scared the hell out of me and the dog’s owner said brightly “Oh, it’s ok honey,” holding the leash loosely while the dog was glaring at me with death in its eyes. I wanted to punch her in the mouth.

    • Ugh, I hate it when my dogs bark and scare people. Especially when we’re in the car in a parking lot; even though I keep the windows almost all the way up, I’ve seen people jump out of their skin. Big dogs are scary, no matter how angelic they are at home!

    • I once went on a date with a woman who was a dog whisperer type. Think she brought one of her dogs with her which I was fine about.

      But some way along the path we encountered a family and the dog started barking at a small child. The kid was visibly distraught, which is not surprising given that it was almost their size.

      My date was almost shouting at the family that if the kid would calm down, the dog would calm down and be lovely to get to know.

      She may well have been correct but I didn’t ask for a 2nd date …

  6. me too, me too, my mars conj natal Capricorn mars is coming up …natal mars in Capricorn 7 degrees…nothing ever happens though.I am a pisces sun and moon and merc..I cant remember what makes me mad. different things at different times…

    • Mars in Capricorn… very, very controlled anger. All that Pisces, I can see why after the “trigger” passes, and you’ve controlled your reaction, you’re able to just let the anger float away. But dammit, you were *right*!! And what a visionary you could be, dreaming up ideas and that Mars in Capricorn (Mars serves the Sun) could *make it happen*– yeah, baby!!

  7. Mars in Capricorn here
    Moon in 8th/Libra
    Both in a natal square = self righteous anger issues, fear of intimacy.

    Scorpio sun stellium opposite 3rd house Rx Chiron too. Hurt myself and others when I lash out = hurts intimacy and trust => bad for the relationship.

    My BF has just decided to move out of our apartment due to my lousy anger management. Got tired of forgiving them. But often these rages starts for a reason, due to something he has said or done in the past.
    It’s my ability to control that is lacking though, and still lacks. Maybe I’m not fit for any kind of intimate relationship really.

    He is no innocent though. Our Chirons are conjuct each other, and he hurts me with his words more often than not.

    • I’m sorry Anette, that he’s moving out. I don’t think it’s a matter of being unfit for relationships. Everything is practice. For instance, “due to something he has said or done in the past”…. this is an 8th house/Scorpio issue. It’s hard to let go of what happened before, but it is the crux of the matter. I am not advocating letting go of past physical abuse, if that’s what’s occurred— but people do say things in the heat of the moment that are a shock to the system at the time, and it’s hard to let that go, but we must if we want to move forward in the relationship. I have a saying on my wall from Yogi Bhajan: “If you are willing to look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves, rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time, cease to react at all.”

      • Hi Diane, thank you for your comment.
        I think I will try to put your wise words into practical use. So much are said when we are in an emotional state of mind, and past hurts tends to get a hold on me unconsciously, because… 8th house. Pluto is also squaring my moon at the moment from hos transit of my 12th house, thereby triggering the natal mars-square so things are extra-extra sensitive inside these years. It can be very hard to get a hold on oneself! Pluto is all about destruction and death after all… Revirth? Well, probably after the heavy hitters has gone away…

        • Anette. If this helps at all: When Pluto conjuncted my horribly-aspected Scorpio Moon, I had “events” that seemed so shocking and painful, at one point I remember going into my walk-in closet and sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth and feeling like the tiny child being triggered in my head. I don’t even remember the circumstances, although I suspect I was being rejected by whatever boyfriend I had at the time, and it was catapulting me into a Uranus square Moon (with transit pluto in mix) “story in my head” about my unloveableness. What I’ve learned in all those intervening years is that it’s ALL A STORY. ALL OF IT. We tell ourselves a story, and then somehow think that circumstances fit the story. Have you told your boyfriend your story? When you’re NOT angry? From a place of detachment, where you are not IN the story at the moment? If a person is being made to be a “part” of your story, like round peg being shoved into square hole, there will be some push-back on their part. I’m not saving I know your personal circumstances, I can’t tell by these brief notes between us, but examine how much of your story of “him” is HIM, and how much is the PAST “HIMS” (meaning other people). I hope that makes sense.

          • I think I know what you mean… I think you talk about our perceptions of the other person, vs. who he really is, right?
            Damn, with that Saurn-Neptune square coming up, I think that deal might be a tough cookie to cut out right now.
            A lot of what has been going on in our relationship the past year or two seems to fit these energies… Misconceptions, misunderstandings, misguided expectations…. They’ve all been a part of it.

            I can feel my fear and making me cold all over, so def. Saturn-Neptune going on for sure. Fear of structures crumbling, looking for the truth, what IS truth (truth is subjective most often, it’s based on perceptions) – and his perception of me that fateful night he keeps referring to, is so strong in his mind that he won’t listen to anything I say that could be explanative of the events happening that night. Rigid beliefs and all, combined with illusions.

            I can’t seem to unlock these beliefs, so he will simply have to find out on his own I guess. Because I think his story of me could also need some adjustment here…

            • Validate his story. Agree that you can see how he has that story. Then ask him if he wants to hear your story. If he doesn’t…. step away for awhile. Allow him that space. This cannot be a “if I have to do it, you have to do it” kind of thing. You’re the one with the Pluto/Moon transit right now. Maybe he’s having a transit where he has to hold his boundaries…. 🙂

  8. I very rarely get ego-rage. Probably it happens about every 4-5 years. Usually it’s when my stuff has been ‘stolen’. Saturn in the 2nd can have rigid values which is probably why that’s the one thing I get ragey about.

    I had a lot of suppressed angry when I was younger until Pluto went through my 8th. Prior to that I was very passive-aggressive. When I was growing up Feelings were to be avoided, denied or bribed away so I’ve had to learn as an adult how to manage them.

    When Pluto hit my 8th a friend told me that whenever he felt anger about something, he always looked inside and asked himself what he’s angry about (i.e. he didn’t project and blame the other person). I started doing that and changed a lot of my attitudes and expectations. Automatically fewer things caused me to get angry.

    Some of my planets probably help … I have mars in impersonal Aqua so I tend to get angry/impatient about how the group is treated. My Aries house is the 12th, I have neptune aspecting every other planet in my chart (but then so does saturn) so that’s good at being less harsh. Mercury in Virgo in 5th analyses everything rather than just expressing wildly.

    Will just add that there is absolutely nothing wrong with anger – it a very important emotion that tells us when our boundaries have been trespassed. The problem is that people either express it badly or don’t express it at all.

  9. My Mars is in Virgo and if I don’t use the whole house system, it falls in my 7th house of others and I have short patience with other people. It conjuncts my Mercury in Virgo and my words pack a punch.

  10. Late degreeTaurus Mars here too, 7th house opposite Jupiter/Moon square Pluto and square Venus. The angular box that dominates my chart has a lot of strength, energy and impetuousness, especially in relationship. Sometimes I’m on a slow burn. But when Mars is in aspect the short fuse reigns. And when my angles get transitted I tend to severely stub my toes! Venus (feet) in Pisces takes the hit!
    Diane, it’s nice to read you on the blog.

  11. My Mars is on early degrees of Gemini, so when transiting Mars went back and worth on the early degrees of Sagittarius earlier this year, it formed an opposition each time with my natal Mars. It brought out a lot of frustration and anger from me. 😔

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