My son displays a range of emotions. I know this is normal, but when we are cooped up in a small space for a period of time, I can feel almost seasick from it. Too much Neptune, I guess.
Riding these waves, it occurred to me that a person’s estimation of another person tends to vary in a way that’s predictable. When I say this, I am talking about myself and my own experience. However, the pattern is typical for kids and parents and I suspect it plays in other interactions as well.
What happens is a kid thinks the parent is great and wonderful. At some point they find out this is not the case. They may learn something about their parents that causes them to become disillusioned. Or they may just become a teenager and all the sudden, their mom is a bitch and their father a jackass.
So they have that period and sometimes it last for years and years and years. Decades! In other cases it lasts a year or two, or whatever. Most people become more forgiving of their parents as they mature. It just hits them.
In some cases, it hits them after the parent is gone. The (adult) child decides dad was OKAY after all. They appreciate him.
So that’s the pattern. You can see it play out all around, all the time, provided no tragedy occurs. Tragedy, like a parent dying prematurely which can jack this process.
What I realized is this same pattern plays out on this blog all the time. People come here and they like me…often times a lot. Then something happens, and they hate me, often times a lot.
But they years pass and guess what? They become forgiving.
I think this is worth keeping in mind if you are hating on someone right now. It’s probably a phase, lol.
And if someone is hating on you – I hope this helps you to understand that it will pass. One way or the other, it’s not going to last.
Have you seen this pattern play in your life?
pictured – I called my son and drew the shape of this pattern. ‘What’s that shape called on a graph?”
“That’s a cubic polynomial, mom.”