Free Speech

I am aware of being supremely frustrated at being unable to express myself in the way I prefer (freely). I am truly suffering because of this –  and I don’t overstate that. I write things in the Colosseum now and then, but then at the end of the session, whatever I write is flushed and gone forever. I think this is too bad, because its original and a lot of it is entertaining, or it would be, if I wrote what was in my head.

Based on this, I’ve decided to start keeping a private diary. I want to chronicle this time in history, via stories and snippets of every day life like I did on xanga.  I think will be entertaining for someone to read in the future, and cathartic for me, who at this point, has very few opportunities to speak what I feel and see and think.

I just want to write and think and talk without restraint.  My chart pretty much demands this (Mars Mercury in 9th).  With all the checks and restrictions in place, and general oppression of free expression, I find myself feeling angry a lot of the time.

I’ve said in the past, one ought not to let Mars energy back up on them, and I’ve got take my own advice at this point. I want to write in a rollicking hard-on way, like the old days. In the future, someone can read the stuff and laugh their ass off.

I sick of playing dumb and being a dull boy. My goal will be to write something hilarious every day and guess what? It’ll be easy!

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Free Speech — 22 Comments

  1. That’s a great decision Elsa! You need an outlet for all your thoughts and feelings in an unrestrained manner.

    My favorite program for writing my thoughts and feelings is notepad, as far as diaries are concerned.

  2. Personally I want to think you should be sleeping at 335AM,,, a little astral travel thru the Akashic ethers or a past life gives peace and more to write about,:)) At that time I think I was soaring over a cliff above a park in Austin maybe,, definitely a cliff U soared above before. Went to sleep as pof hit Neptune here.
    Write on,

  3. I miss journalling but can’t get back into it. I’ve tried, but I guess it’s not time yet. :) I go old-school, pen and paper!

    I love it, E. You gotta have somewhere you can say what you want, how you want!

  4. Great plan, Elsa! And in the future, when (not if … hahaha) you write another book, this journal will be a gold mine of ideas for you.

  5. Ive read some of your earlier blogs, like the one where you are wearing the dark coat with the big button that perfectly silhouette’s your face, it is late at night and you are walking towards your car, there is a man above screaming from a balcony, “Mistake”, “Big mistake Elsa”. It almost reads like a script. I love that one.

  6. Your observation about writing reminds me of Henry Miller’s (arguably America’s greatest 20th century author) cogent and thought provoking comments which he came back to over and over again in various ways, in all of his work. My advice in lieu of Henry: Write the way you would as if you’re talking to someone very close to you(yourself perhaps?) and “Damn the Torpedoes!”


  7. Speaking of Free speech…I just registered for your site/forum/boards and altho I only made one rather innocuous post I seem to have already been blocked. How does one go about contacting the admin to verify this?

  8. Those were the good old days…I so looked forward to bellying up to the “bar” at xanga and listening to one of your yarns. Been feeling a bit like that myself, but once all of my academic writing is done, I want to let loose.

    • @Heather, I miss that too. We can’t go back in time, but I see a path that may allow me to get back to something very near that and I sloggin’ up it now. :)

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