I am aware of being supremely frustrated at being unable to express myself in the way I prefer (freely). I am truly suffering because of this – and I don’t overstate that. I write things in the Colosseum now and then, but then at the end of the session, whatever I write is flushed and gone forever. I think this is too bad, because its original and a lot of it is entertaining, or it would be, if I wrote what was in my head.
Based on this, I’ve decided to start keeping a private diary. I want to chronicle this time in history, via stories and snippets of every day life like I did on xanga. I think will be entertaining for someone to read in the future, and cathartic for me, who at this point, has very few opportunities to speak what I feel and see and think.
I just want to write and think and talk without restraint. My chart pretty much demands this (Mars Mercury in 9th). With all the checks and restrictions in place, and general oppression of free expression, I find myself feeling angry a lot of the time.
I’ve said in the past, one ought not to let Mars energy back up on them, and I’ve got take my own advice at this point. I want to write in a rollicking hard-on way, like the old days. In the future, someone can read the stuff and laugh their ass off.
I sick of playing dumb and being a dull boy. My goal will be to write something hilarious every day and guess what? It’ll be easy!