I truly feel constrained when I write these days. I started out just writing, writing, writing. I said what I wanted to say. I swore my head off. I said outrageous whatever. I did not hold back at all. I did not censor myself at all. I didn’t worry about the mouth police, the PC brigade or people who eventually showed up in droves just waiting to be offended. I was a wild ass tornado, creativity unleashed and I didn’t even know it.
Slowly, I’ve been curbed and this is for good and ill. My writing is more accessible now. It used to be hard to parse because I had such a strange cadence. I didn’t know that either but I have been through what? 6 years of Saturn transits to Mercury? Let’s see…
Saturn transit through my 6th house (Mercury’s house) followed by Saturn’s transit through Virgo (Mercury’s sign). Now I have Saturn bearing down on Natal Mercury and I am about to become unglued with the pressure of the restriction and it is not like I haven’t fought back. I have fought back, most notably by boldly announcing last year, I was not going to write for dummies on this blog.
That’s right. There is a lot of pressure to dumb down everything you say. Cow-tow or else! Make sure everything you say says nothing or else. It’s sickening. Think what we think or else. Say what we say you should say or else! Read from this script, Elsa P, or else! Use these words, not these words, Elsa P… or else.
Well, I’ve just about had it. Actually, I have had it. I am sick of complaints and orders and threats and while I have every intention of maintaining my blog I decided for my own sanity to create a space where I can write freely, without restraint and that is why I am having this astrology class with the RUDE, CUTTING, OFF-PUTTING, OFFENSIVE title, “Elsa P’s Blood and Guts Astrology Class“.
I was warned of this but told, HQ:
“…I am super hindered by these kinds of things these days and just want a break. I want to write freely the way I like instead of massive concern about everything all the time.”
I explained I didn’t care if anyone bought the class. I just wanted to be normal for awhile but guess what? People did buy the class and I am so heartened by this, I can’t tell you. Turns out there is still an appetite for food for the mind that has a bite. There are still people willing and wanting food they’ll have to chew.
I am not a manipulative person. I am mistaken for one at times but the fact is, I write straight from my heart which is almost impossible to find anywhere. What you have out there is like cosmetic surgery. It’s not real, it’s fabricated. “I’ll say blah, blah, blah so people will think I am this and this and that and it will get me this and this and that.”
People go for this, obviously. I mean the crap sells, it’s undeniable and it leaves a real, feeling human being like me to wonder just where I belong.
At the moment I have an answer to that. I am going to enjoy the living shit out of this class because I feel like a tall person who has had to stoop and strain to fit in. I really feel like if I have to mind one more P, I am going to punch a Q.
Here is the astrology on this:.
Saturn is bearing down on my natal Mars Mercury conjunction and is MY responsibility (Saturn) to come up with a structure (Saturn) where my mind and my mouth (Mercury) can run (Mars) free (9th house).
Thanks everyone, for your support and your vote of confidence. Very much appreciated.