Okay story time! I wrote this in 2001, I’d been writing stories for about a year. I am 26 years old in this story. I work for Frito-Lay and I live in the Once Upon A Time house in the middle of the desert. There is a lot of astrology in this story. There is a lot of everything in this story and I hope you like it.

Red Hand Truck

Really this is a story about my hand truck. My red hand truck. All hand trucks are not created equal, and if you work with one all day you become very attached to your machine. It’s an extension of yourself. Phallic? I suppose.  In whatever case my hand truck was red, like my lipstick. I picked her out from a line up when I took my job.

Continue reading Vintage Astrology Blogging: Red Hand Truck: Part 1 – The Collision

Send Guns, No Money, No Lawyers

My 84 year old neighbor had a shot gun.  Does that seem weird to you?  It did to me at first but I thought about it and saw it was quite normal.

I learned about her gun when she threatened to shoot the mail thieves. Yep.  Someone was stealing our mail.  The mailman said he was picking it up scattered here and there and my neighbor told me that she’d be happy to kill the mail thieves dead but she lacked luck.
Continue reading Desert Living, Once Upon A Time – Part 5: Send Guns, No Money, No Lawyers

Brown Space Cow

My neighbor’s property was fenced with your basic barbed wire. Next to the mailboxes there was a cattle guard running across the break in the fence where she turned off the dirt road onto her driveway.  Cattle guards spook me out. This is probably because I saw a calf stuck in one once. You know how they work don’t you?

Continue reading Desert Living, Once Upon A Time – Part Four – Brown Space Cow

The Meeting

“Blue?” she asked, eying my mailbox.

I looked at her and couldn’t read her at all. “Yeah.”

“Well hell. It looks good enough. I don’t see anything wrong with it. The post office ought to like it and they know everything. If it’s good enough for them then it’s settled. They’re the experts,” she added making it clear with her smile that she didn’t think the post off was expert at anything. “If there’s one thing they oughta know, it’s best color for a mailbox. They’ve got all of theirs painted blue, though it makes no sense to me. Why not red? Or black? They think they’ve got everything figured out down there and if you try to tell them different you’re wasting your time.”

Continue reading Desert Living, Once Upon A Time – Part Three: The Meeting

Mailbox

Heady stuff buying your first house, even if your first house is your second which in my case it was. I’d bought my mother a house some months prior but this was different. This was my house. It was a house for me and it had been a long time coming.

I was on my own and homeless at 15 years old but able to open a savings account when I was 16. I was a big spender because the bank required 5 dollars minimum deposit and I had 6, so you know. I was a major customer and however I’d managed it, I’d saved my money and I had a house now. I had a great house even and I was proud.
Continue reading Desert Living, Once Upon A Time – Part Two – The Mailbox

I wrote this story in 2002, back before Saturn got me.  I was surprised when satori told me once that she liked it. It’s just not the kind of story I’d think anyone would like but I did want to write it just for blathering purposes and also to beguile people for their own good. Enjoy!

The Set Up

I’m going to tell you about a good idea I had once. Scott told me that good ideas were plentiful. He said this was not the problem in life. A shortage of ideas I mean. He said that good ideas were easy to be had and in fact he had so many they were a pain in the ass. I kind of marveled about that because I was not certain at the time if I had ever had even one good idea, but he’s purported to be a genius so I took him at his word.

Continue reading Desert Living, Once Upon A Time – Part One – The Set Up

Some years back, I was writing on a message board about Gemnis lying. I called them Gemiliars and people got all pissed off. They were justified to an extent so having Libra, I decided to write about Gemini’s opposite sign: Sagittarius, known for being blunt and honest. Here’s the story…

I was dating this guy once, a Sadge rising. I’d met him in a restaurant for a big date. This was a really big date, he planned to propose to me after dinner. He had the ring in his pocket and here’s what happened instead:
Continue reading Sagittarians Telling the Truth – God Help Us!

In response to my video about attraction, fajalobi78 posted about on the boards about being a freak and being attractive. It made me think of this part in a story I wrote in 2001. It features my friend, Kay, who was a double Aquarius. We used to prowl together big time, we had tons of fun and then one night something happened.

I am about 31 here and Kay was 26. It’s an excerpt from “Shack Man”. Enjoy!

Continue reading Under The Full Moon In Leo: It’s The Kay And Elsa P Show!

The Pisces and the Scorpio Collide

Brinnnnnnng! Brinnnnnnnnnng!

The Pisces picked up. He knew I’d been dating the Scorpio. Since he was doing whatever he was doing and he wasn’t doing me, I’d moved along. He had his process which was nebulous but he still called me a couple or three times a week. We talked astrology by now so I told him about this guy’s fancy dick, Pluto and my blown pipes.

Well, well, well. I finally saw his Scorpio Moon peep out. He said the guy would call me again for sure and he felt I needed to lose him. He thought he was bad news. (I smell a cock-block)

Continue reading Vintage Blogging:Wild Astrology In The Wild – Meeting Pisces on Neptune – Part Three: The Pisces And The Scorpio Collide