Weight issues came up in the Colosseum. reminding me of this…

Back when I young and knew the soldier I just ate and ate and ate. Unbeknownst to me (Venus Neptune) I got enormously fat. I had no earthly idea I was overweight. I grew up starving and didn’t even know it was possible to be overweight.

Continue reading Venus Square Neptune Gets Mysteriously FAT – Jeez! Could Have Fooled Me!

Sometimes I like to put something weird up here for various reasons and today is one of those days. I have a a very queer memory. It is renowned in my circle and there is nothing I can do about that. Whatever my problem is, it’s longstanding as I recall telling people I was missing a brain lobe in my early 20′s.  How I can recall and write dialogue, verbatim from conversations that took place 30 or 40 years ago is definitely a quirk and I have some others.

I do have Venus square Neptune in my chart and terrific sensitivity to music. I can cheer or torture myself with it, that’s for sure and once, HQ asked me where I got my morals and I told him the truth, “I heard them in a song.”

Continue reading The Long Distance Phone Call

Back on my story about, TV, what I wanted to say is because access was so limited when I was a kid, some of the things I saw on TV had enormous impact.  I just had very strong reactions to what I saw on that screen because it was contact with a larger world.

My family moved to the desert when I was 6 and at that point I became very isolated. We did go to school but we were not allowed to have anyone over and I was not allowed to go visit anyone either.

Annalisa did visit people as her circumstance was different than mine and you can see the differences in our personalities today (I imagine).  Annalisa has a mutable grand cross so she did get around. She was allowed to visit people and participate in sports and stuff where I was not. 
Continue reading Public Life… And, “The Thrill Of Victory And The Agony Of Defeat” – Part 2

I mention frequently I grew up without a TV and the effects of this are pervasive. I don’t know much about the popular culture of my generation for starters. I don’t get the references people make but another thing is the few times I did see TV when I was young… well I was mesmerized.

I have a vivid memory of the first time I sat down in from of a TV to watch because the TV said my sister was dead. I was pretty shocked, I guess you can imagine.

Continue reading Public Life… And, “The Thrill Of Victory And The Agony Of Defeat”

“What happened to you? They’re swarming like damned buzzards,” Will said with his crooked grin.  Will waved his arms around when he talked; it was the way he was. He thought it was funny. He thought it was cute and he was right.

“Huh?”

He saw my hand and feigned dramatic surprise. “What happened to your hand?” he asked, staring at the huge gauze. “Is your hand in there somewhere?” he said with a chuckle. “That is a huge bandage! Wow! Wow, Elsa, what’s it like to have that much gauze on your hand?” he babbled. “There’s talk on the street. They’re really humming out there. Rainbo (a local brand of bread) and one of the Pepsi guys have already asked me to put a good word in to the boss for them. They said you aren’t going to work at Frito anymore and they want your job.”

Continue reading Red Hand Truck: Part 9 – Buzzards And Various Other Sundries

Taking Stock

I left the exam room thinking on high. Who was I going to call? Someone who wouldn’t drive me nuts. I needed someone smart so I decided to call the Scorpio. I’d just met him but so what. He was the guy.

I’d been in this town more than a year and he was the first person I’d met whose idea of “normal” matched mine. I met him a few days after he moved to the town. See how I hone in? I didn’t know it yet but in the future we’d marry.

“Brinnnnnng! Brinnnnnnnnnng!”

Continue reading Red Hand Truck: Part 8 – Taking Stock

The Nurse

I made a beeline to the front desk, pain rising quickly. “I burned my hand,” I said, out of breath.

The receptionist yelled back, “She’s here”. Next thing I knew I was in a chair next to a sink with my hand under cold running water. The nurse had me by the wrist. Firmly. My hand was facing up under the water, my forearm pressed into the side of a stainless steel sink. It hurt.

“This is going to hurt,” she said.

“What?”

“This will hurt. I’m very sorry. Grit your teeth. Try to keep breathing. I have to scrub your hand.”

Continue reading Red Hand Truck: Part 6 – The Nurse

Time passed. Six or seven minutes. My arm was numb and I was able to stop crying. I was not able to take my hand from the ice. I was spooked, that’s why. I was afraid of the pain and waiting for a coherent thought. I wished for a chair to sit in because the ice machine was mounted low and I had to bend and twist to keep my hand in it. It was as if I was pinned and increased my chaotic feelings of vulnerability.

Some other vendors showed up at the store. People I knew. This was a small community so I knew everybody. Other vendors I mean. It was Wednesday and many of us worked this store that day of the week. Wherever you start from on your route, it was common to be at this store, at the crossroads in the middle of everything at the middle of the day.

Continue reading Red Hand Truck: Part 5 – Freak Show

Burned

“GET SOME ICE!!!!!!”

“Huh?” I said. I was dazed. I couldn’t feel my hand. I looked at it and I couldn’t really see it either. It was very hard to think. “I’m okay,” I said.

“I don’t think so, Elsa. Jesus, get some ice.”

“I don’t need any ice, it’s okay.”

He grabbed me by my other arm and took me into the store, yelling for ice. The store was packed with people, it was lunch hour.

Continue reading Red Hand Truck: Part 3 – BURNED

Okay story time! I wrote this in 2001, I’d been writing stories for about a year. I am 26 years old in this story. I work for Frito-Lay and I live in the Once Upon A Time house in the middle of the desert. There is a lot of astrology in this story. There is a lot of everything in this story and I hope you like it.

Red Hand Truck

Really this is a story about my hand truck. My red hand truck. All hand trucks are not created equal, and if you work with one all day you become very attached to your machine. It’s an extension of yourself. Phallic? I suppose.  In whatever case my hand truck was red, like my lipstick. I picked her out from a line up when I took my job.

Continue reading Vintage Astrology Blogging: Red Hand Truck: Part 1 – The Collision