I have been a life-long commitment-phobic. I don’t think this is like alcoholism – once a commitment-phobic, always a commitment-phobic. I didn’t know this until I’d actually resolved this myself. I didn’t know I’d resolved myself until it hit me the other night,  this is the first time in my life I have ever felt settled in a relationship.

Continue reading Resolving Commitment-Phobia

ep delurks to remark on Sociopaths – A Users Guide

“All the sociopaths I’ve witnessed will cross the line eventually, in that when their shenanigans finally catch up to them, they try to shift blame onto their closest associates. *relurks*”

ep – good point, but I think there are some who never see it catch up. I expect that one of the reasons is they’re able to see where certain lines are and manage themselves.

I don’t think there are hard and fast rules when you get way out there on the continuum. You have to take them on a case by case basis which is one of the points I meant to make.
Continue reading Astrology, Psychopathy, Self Preservation vs Biting The Hand That Feeds You…And What About The Bigger Fish?

“There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.”
Adela Rodgers St. Johns

When I read this I laughed out loud.
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Many are weighing decisions around leaving or trying to maintain troubled relationships. I wanted elaborate on yesterday’s video – Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Decisions made at this time will have long lasting repercussions. Here are some other things to consider.

Do you own your end when a relationships fails?

I was talking to someone who was wanting to form a relationship with a person whose nature is similar to mine. I wound up describing the process I go through internally when I make a new friend. I explained that anyone who came on with too much, too fast, a “new best friend” sort made me incredibly nervous.

“When someone comes in and thinks they are going to fill up my life, I feel completely overwhelmed. I may like them initially but if my phone starts ringing off the hook, well right then I know I’m not going to be able to sustain the relationship.”
Continue reading Scorpio and 8th House Types: Trust and Friendship

Dear Confused,

I am sorry this man’s mixed signals set you on a path to confusion, but at this point his signals are abundantly clear. He is not interested. And further, you are not going to get “closure” because he is not going to give it to you. The reason being that he’s not capable of giving it to you.

He is also not capable of telling you that he doesn’t like you, that he likes someone else better, that he changed his mind or whatever else his reason for pulling away may be. And if you have even a modicum of class (he doesn’t), then you will respect his shortcomings and relent with contacting him and/or professing your love. And beyond that you can learn from this. Because these are facts:

Continue reading Virgo Man Pulls Away From Pisces Woman – She Wants Closure

This question has come up several times in the last week or so.  A man or a woman has made this statement and I have been asked (and asked others) what it means.  The responses have been varied.

Some think that when someone says this to you, they will never marry you.

Continue reading “I’m Not Ready To Get Married…” What Does This Mean?

Dear Elsa,

I am wondering about relationships where there a lot of Pluto aspects at work, deep intense crazy connections, that seem to be rearranging your inner organs, can they last?

What I mean is, if Pluto is transforming and obsessive, and related to death and rebirth, is it the kind of thing a relationship can have a lot of and survive? Is there sort of a built in time frame, a transformational process that naturally ends, or does it just keep working on you endlessly?

Curious
United States

Continue reading Can Intense Relationships With Scorpio Or Pluto Types Last Or Do They Die By Their Nature?

Regarding that picture when I was 9, my sister wrote:

“That dress you are wearing came in this package someone gave us for rodeo week. We had to dress rodeo for school so someone gave us three dresses, that was one. The other two were gingham and ugly. (I decided.)

I had a thing for velvet and that dress had some velvet so I was considering it very carefully, so were you.

I decided I couldn’t wear western. I decided I hated western wear on that day and you ended up putting on the dress. Everyone thought you looked cute so Henry took your picture in it, remember?”
Continue reading Budding Astrologers… With Capricorn Risings

To a client…

“You’re right! You’re right about this guy’s pathology, but so what?  Just because you correctly identify a pattern in someone’s behavior, this does not mean they are going to change it to meet a standard that you set.  They’re far more likely to do exactly what they do. It’s like saying, hey! You have blonde hair!  Well so I do, they say!  Even if they’re surprised at what you’ve plucked out and shown to them, they’re still very likely to just go off and live with their blonde hair as it is.  A person is not going to just  start making adjustments to fall into line with what you think is proper. Why would they?  It’s hard to be something you’re not or to change your way of being.  Very few are going to do that, there’s no motivation to make that kind of effort…”

Do you really, really understand that you’re not running the other person’s life?