This is another one of those taboo topics in regards to parenting that I am so fond of.  With Pluto in Capricorn, I get to talk about stuff like this and I won’t bother to hide my glee.

Most parents say they want their child to have a better life than they did and I think most of them mean it. How much they actually invest in this goal may vary but I think parents who want their kids to suffer beyond what they’ve endured are part of a small minority.

Some specify they want their kids to have a better opportunity then they did so they work hard and save so they can pay for their child’s college education which might have been something they either didn’t get or had to struggle to pay for. You get the idea.  And this all goes well except for when it doesn’t.

Continue reading Children Who Do Not / Cannot Surpass The Accomplishments Of Their Parents

I was talking to my husband the other day about the success (or lack of success) we have had as parents. It’s not the easiest thing to ask yourself but it’s interesting to ponder anyway. It’s definitely a subject one can spin.

I don’t particularly consider myself a successful parent but in carefully evaluating this, I do think I’ve managed to hit the note most important to me. My kids know about love. They know how love and relationship can enrich your life. They have seen it demonstrated (in spades) and this was a core desire of mine.

Continue reading What Is The Number One Thing You’d Like To Pass On Or Model For Your Children?

I think there is tremendous benefit to using astrology when it comes to parenting.  It saves the both the parents and child all kinds of grief.

For example, I am very speedy but don’t expect my Taurean son to go or do anything, quickly.  He’s reliable but where I pop out of bed, ready for action, he takes at least 45 minutes and preferably an hour before his furnace kicks in. Knowing this, I ignore it when “getting up for school”, means getting out of bed and moving into the living room to lie on the couch.  Without astrology, I’d probably be complaining about that.

My son has a Libra Moon so I know he does not like to be alone.  I accommodate this by having his best friend over, virtually every day.  He has an emotional need to partner and this is very satisfying to him.

Do you use astrology as a parent?  Tell us!

If you want to catch up on the provocative topic, click the link above. I get in terrible trouble writing this stuff but feel compelled to speak up about this and I want to tell you the latest.

Apparently things are slowing down in the family courts. Very light docket these days.

Continue reading Pluto In Capricorn: The Government As Co-Parent Of Your Child – UPDATE

‘Someone said this to me yesterday,” I told, Annalisa. “It’s brilliant.  She said, all these women are single parents so they want the government to be the daddy.” I explained what I read on the the teaching kids sex in schools thread.  ‘See, they send their kid to school and daddy, the government, talks to the kid and then they come home and Mommy fills in. Get it?  The government is the new daddy for these kids.”

“That’s exactly right.”

“I think so too.  And they think they can control this thing, the government, that has no heart, no mind and no soul. They think they have control and I told them, right now the government is teaching something they may agree with. It is gay-friendly and people like that. They don’t seem to realize if they give over their rights to parent to the government, the government can start teaching something they don’t like.”

Continue reading Pluto In Capricorn: Psychology & Shadow Side Of Parenting – Single Mothers: The Government As Co-Parent Of Your Child

Dear Aries,

You have articulated your situation beautifully and I wonder if you have tried to tell your mother exactly what you just told me. Your post is balanced, it is fair, and it is full of love yet firm.

I would go as far as to say that anyone who can write and think like this is well equipped to parent so the first thing I’d suggest is you go over just exactly what it is you’re saying to your mother that might be triggering her. Are you in some kind of negative pattern, both yelling at each other? If this is the case, perhaps you can write her. And to answer your specific questions…

You can show her your love and appreciation by asking her to relinquish control to you rather than demanding it, because she’s got an investment now too. You can also thank her for being there and for stepping in, but explain that in order for you to completely heal you have got to resume your place as the mother in your son’s life.

Now as far as money goes, I hope you are using yours because if you are using hers… it complicates the situation. If this is the case and is a factor here, I would work very hard to become independent – because it is not fair you call the shots and another person finance them.

Last, do I think you can fix this? Absolutely for the reasons described in the first paragraph up there.

Good luck.

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Dear Struggling,

It doesn’t matter if I think you are supposed to be okay with this situation (I don’t) because the fact is, you are not okay with this situation. You have the chart of a very disciplined person, a strong parent and there is just no way you are going to be comfortable with children running amok and running the household.

Thing is, there is little you can do without your fiance’s willing cooperation and while it sounds as if he may be learning, he is certainly learning slowly – which is another thing you cannot control.

It is also common that people resent the person who shows up trying to achieve some kind of order when they are used to disorder. Who the hell are you to come in and rain on their parade? Last, you are outnumbered. It is you and your son (who I assume is like you) against these three mavericks so what to do?

Well you can ask and you’ve done that. You can set an example and you’ve done that too, so this leaves you to decide whether you can stick this out or not.

Can you tolerate the situation in the hopes it gets better – or alternately, can you tolerate this situation until his children are older and take off in their own direction? Because I really don’t think you are going to be able to be able to have much effect on the scenario without your fiance’s 100% support, which he is clearly not offering. In fact is sounds like the whole family is making you the bad guy and eventually, yeah. This is going to color the way your son sees you.

I am sorry but this sounds like there is incompatibility at a fundamental level and I would really recommend against marriage until and unless the two of you can come to some kind of agreement and show some solidarity for the sake of everyone involved.

Good luck.

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Dear Mom,

I just knew when I looked at your chart I was going to see a whole bunch of Libra and sure enough, you have your Sun, Moon, Mercury and Pluto in Libra and bottom line, you do not want to be alone. You were born to partner and I do not mean to upset or insult you but you have got to get your son out of your bed if you want any hope whatsoever of solving this.

You see, by sleeping with him you are treating him as if he is your man… your partner so no wonder he hates the idea of you with another man. It’s as if you are cheating on him! Do you expect him to step aside and have this other man take his place? Why in the world would he do that? He may be 10 but he is a 10 year old man and you are his territory!

You absolutely have to get this kid out of your bed for his sake and for yours and beyond that, establish clear boundaries where you are the parent. You are the the adult, who perhaps sleeps with an adult man. He is the child who can sleep with a woman when he grows up and finds one that is not his mother!

I am sure he will raise holy hell when you send him to his own bed (the couch, a blanket on the floor, whatever) but the longer you wait the worse your problem is going to get. I am very sorry but there is just no other way to begin to put this right because the reason he does not accept your authority is because in his mind, you are his woman and I bet you you’re dealing with some machismo here as well.

I appreciate the two of you are here together and need each other very much but you must recognize your own need a partner and your partner CANNOT be your son.

Good luck.

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Dear Father,

You are a double Gemini and having a Saturn transit which will pressure you to do the right thing. The right thing is to take responsibility for your children in spite of more childish impulses. It seems you have figured this out so now what?

Well you can’t be in three countries at once and you probably can’t be with either of these women, however you can support them because look here: They are raising your babies for you and this is no small favor.

So that’s what you do. I don’t care what happened. I don’t care what he said, she said or who did what. You have two children that other people are taking care of and if you begin to pitch in, you will begin to feel strong rather than weak. Here is how:

Write or call the mothers of your kids and ask them, “How can I help you?” And listen to what they say. Say things like this: “I want to help you with the baby… I want to know my child, I care about my baby and I care about you and I care that you have assumed all the burden for this child we made together.”

And not things like this, “Well it’s your fault! If you’ve not have done blah, blah, blah…”

Do this. Grow up and do the right thing to the best of your ability and you will be feeling much better a couple years down the road when Saturn winds up this transit. Don’t do this and you will feel shame. And pain.

Wouldn’t it be better to try to heal this? I think so. And give the women time. It is very hard to care for a child alone. They are probably very angry but if you are consistent and sincere… well this is all the universe wants, you know? And one more thing.

With a Leo rising and a 10th house Sun, you are a natural father and I don’t think you can deny it. Bottom line, your kids need to know they have a father somewhere in this world… someone they can point to and say, “That’s my dad.” You’re him so for Godsakes, stand up.

Good luck.

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Dear Mom,

Hearty congratulations on your baby on the way! No, I don’t think you need to be even one whit concerned with how you’re going to get along with your child. You will be absolutely amazed at how the baby you’re making will fit into the puzzle that is your life. Further, you will wonder how you ever functioned without this person.

Now I in case sound like a Pollyanna, I am well aware there are parents who don’t get along with their kids but that is because they don’t get along, period. They don’t get along with themselves!

It’s apparent from your post that you get along with your husband, which means you get along with yourself. So your baby is going to be nothing but another person you both get along with, so there is no need to worry. However I know the first pregnancy is a terror and you have to worry about something, so here is a replacement worry:

Instead of worrying about whether you will like your kid and them you, worry about how you can love yourself and your husband more than ever before… and be amazed by those results as well.

Congratulations again. Much love and good luck.

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