Cancer Woman Asks For Open Marriage, Her Husband Falls In Love With Another Woman, Now What? Astrology-Based Advice
Oh gods Elsa, I’m falling apart.
My husband is involved with another woman. This relationship started 5 years ago when I wanted to open our marriage up because I had a crush on her husband. My part with her husband didn’t last long, but my husband formed a very strong bond with his wife. They’ve been on again off again for a number of years, and have ignored the initial rule that if anything ever made anyone uncomfortable, that party could call the whole thing off. They say now that the fact that I *started* it, and tacitly, that I have been unfaithful, means they can do whatever they want.
I have tried and found a place of compassion regarding the love, but recently found out that she has no respect for me or my feelings and doesn’t care what I have to say on the matter. My husband and I are going to start counseling in January, but there is a part of me that believes that she’s his one true love, and that ultimately I am nothing but someone he’s used to having been around for going on 12 years.
My intelligent, supportive friends have told me over and over again that I should leave – but it hurts so much to even contemplate. I love him more than anything, and I have changed since my past mistakes. He is still angry with things that happened 5 years ago. I feel like I’m living in a glass house and truly have no idea what to do. Can you help?
Cancer Wife
United States
Dear Wife,
I feel very sorry for you and wish I had some magic remedy but I think you’ve got this situation figured correctly except for the idea this other woman is your husband’s true love. She may be, but it is more likely they are making you (and her husband) pay – and I mean pay in spades – for your affair.
In fact, the chances are if you were to pull out and walk away, their relationship would crumple as it would have outlived its usefulness, which is to punish you for as long as you allow.
Now this does not excuse you. You are absolutely culpable for the state of your marriage however I see no reason to berate you because you have already been and continue to be punished by the universe, the powers that be or whatever you want to call it, by this little thing called, “reality”.
Reality is a Saturn concept and with Saturn in Virgo set to transit your Venus in Gemini and Moon Jupiter in Pisces you can expect to become more and more aware of reality over the next year which will be a curse… and a gift.
A gift because you state you are falling apart. Well, you will not be allowed to fall apart during a Saturn transit. You will be pressured to act as an adult and take responsibility for your emotions, your beliefs and your actions in relationships which is exactly what you are doing. And that’s it. From here you just keep doing what you are doing – doing the right thing while letting your faith support you.
You have an innate knowing that things turn out for the best, so keep that in mind. Hold that perspective as you go through this process, which does look to be grueling and protracted – but hey. Is there any other way? There is not, and one more thing:
On your friends telling you to leave, never mind them. You will leave when and if you leave on your own terms, under your own conditions and on your own timetable. This is another Saturn lesson, see? Boundaries. I get so sick of people telling other people what to do. They don’t have to live with the result, you do. So make your own decision and take your time to do this because when Saturn is around, slow and careful beats impulsive action every time.
Good luck.
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Dual-Natured Leo Woman Struggles: Straitlaced By Day, Porn and S&M By Night: Astrology-Based Advice
Dear Elsa,
I always have felt a dual nature within myself. For instance, I’m a very genuine, honest, good-hearted, moral person. Yet I have a fascination with the darker side of things (the occult, etc.). I’m going to school to become a teacher, but torn between being a “role-model” and being someone who loves tattoos, piercing, drinking, etc.
Well, the same goes for my sex life. I am a married mother of two children with a wonderful husband… but I secretly like porn and S&M type things. I feel constrained by the image I try to uphold (moral, good-hearted, motherly).
Is there something in my chart that explains this? And is there anything I can do to feel more balanced?
Sexually Charged Mom
United States
Dear Mom,
Yes there is something in your chart that explains this. You have Uranus (experiment) in Scorpio (sex) square a 10th house (conservative) Sun in Leo (who me, the Queen?), and that’s just for starters. Your chart is full of this contradiction, so what to do?
Well first, a new frame will help. Quit calling yourself “dual-natured”. You’re no Gemini. What you are is an upstanding citizen with a wild streak. See? All one person. But one person who judges themselves rather than accepting themselves and here’s how to fix that:
You know how when you go to the eye doctor, they show you two images and you are supposed to merge them together? Overlay them? This is your task. Because there is such a thing as a mother who loves sex. There better be because if not, then what am I?
As to your husband, if he is completely unaware of your proclivities, I would slowly introduce yourself to him. I am sure the thought is terrifying but much less frightening then living a dual life when you’re one person. And here’s some reassurance:
People don’t meet by mistake. I doubt your husband freaks out especially if you are sensitive about how you go about this. Matter of fact, the way you are living now: part of being ‘wonderful” means he has to hold up your fa§ade and while this may seem okay on the surface, on a deeper level it is oppressive to him, I am sure.
So bottom line, I think relief lies in merging the two personas rather than trying to balance, which is what you’ve been attempting.
Good luck.
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Pisces Woman Struggles Mightily With Aries Husband: Saturn Transit To… Most Her Chart
Dear Elsa,
I love my husband very much and it often feels as though it is in my nature to love him. We laugh a lot together, have a deep intellectual connection, and have very similar values. I am 41, he is 42. We have been married for almost seven years and do not plan to have children.
That said, just about everything suggests that we aren’t the best match for each other. Just about everything suggests that we aren’t the best match for each other. He’s Aries, I’m Pisces. He’s practically an only child (his brother is 12 years older than him). I’m youngest of seven children. We’re even exact opposites on Meyer’s Briggs: he’s ISTJ, I’m ENFP.
Most challenging: he had a very controlling mother and I had a very controlling father. When I can remain positive, I view this as a great way to work out all of our emotional crap. And, we have really gotten somewhere on this. When our baggage gets all twisted together, we can see it and share things about our past to better understand each other. When I feel despair, though, I wonder what I have created for myself and feel stuck.
Here’s our pattern. If I start talking about something where he feels pressured into doing something (I’m not even asking for anything), he shuts it down by getting cranky. He’ll snap at me. It works. I shut down because I’m so hurt not by the matter at hand, but I’m disappointed that I have married someone that would snap at me.
If he makes a suggestion that I do something a certain way, I’ll stubbornly ignore him because I refuse to be controlled like my mother was. My head is often in a funk. So, he tends to over-react, I tend to shut down. It creates this gap in the road to deeper intimacy. I often find myself so angry at him, yet I just don’t even express it because he’ll find a way to make it my issue. I think so many years of his mother blaming him for things or controlling his life has left him unable to take on any more.
Sometimes he seems to treat me like his mother treated him. She was a nut about not bringing dirt into the house or doing something that might cause the house to burn down (i.e. leaving something on the stove). While he’s not a nut about the house or anything, he might say things like, “take those shorts off before sitting on the couch” (after we’ve been working outside). He’s always freaked out because I tend to do things like leave the stove burner on without a flame (dangerous!). He does stuff too (maybe less often than me, but I’m not keeping track), but I don’t react to things as strongly as he does…maybe I should
(i.e. when he leaves the shed door wide open all night, I’m not all in a knot about it, but if I do it, I get a big lecture). If anything bad were to happen in our house, I’m sure I’d get the blame even if it weren’t my fault.
Other than that issue, though, he is amazingly self-aware, sensitive, fair and an admirable self-made person. A few years ago, I learned to laugh more at myself and not be so serious. That really helped our relationship. But, I’d like to get past this terrible, sticky pattern we’ve been in for years.
The main reason I’m posting is I am having trouble seeing my own crap in this right now. We both acknowledge that we have baggage that contributes to our problems. But, I feel like he is transferring a lot of his old stress onto me by acting like his mother with me. I have trouble seeing him as a friend when he acts like a parent. I feel repressed and angry.
Am I just being a victim here? Am I like my controlling father, unpredictable and aloof? Please help! I feel stuck in a pattern and can’t see the ocean through my self-created current of swimming in a circle!
Pisces
United States
Dear Pisces,
I imagine most who read this will think the same thing I do, that you are going to fare no better in a different relationship. And considering your first point is that you love your husband, I would just forget all ideas of leaving him and commit instead to fixing this – which most definitely means fixing yourself.
Astrology supports this in the fact that your chart is enormously challenging. And understanding that you will constellate these problems with anyone, anywhere, this is exactly what I would do: I would get a therapist and let the games begin.
Point is that if you play this out in therapy, it will take the take some the pressure off your husband and your marriage and give you a fighting chance. Because as it stands, the two of you in a vacuum are doing nothing but consuming each other.
I also want to mention that most of your chart is in the mutable signs and with Saturn going into Virgo, you are looking at 2 1/2 years of hard labor. You’re just going to be pressured to take responsibility for your behavior, but first you have to see the behavior and going to therapy will facilitate this. If you find yourself having the same issues with your therapist that you have with your husband, then it must be you and you can get to work on what’s dogging you. And I am not trying to make you feel bad. Just would like to see you find your way out of this and can’t see that happening without outside support.
Good luck.
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Aries Woman Unhappy With Passive Aggressive Husband: Pluto Transit
Dear Elsa,
My husband and I aren’t seeing eye to eye lately, and I don’t know what to make of it. I thought everything was fine, but I think that I might have been in denial. Part of the story is that we broke up for a few months last year, and I don’t think we recovered from that very well.
For instance, he hasn’t touched me sexually in over a year, saying that just the thought of me being with another man “kills it” for him. I DID have a few dates while we were broken up, but as far as he’s concerned, nothing happened. I don’t understand this particular argument from him, because he cheated on me numerous times while we were together. Lately, he’s been actively seeking sex from me, and he gets frustrated when I seem less interested than I have in years past. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to be all hot and bothered now when he wasn’t touching me for over a year.
Then, there’s the instances where I upset or frustrate him somehow over something as minute as not answering him in the way he wants, or as fast as he wants. He tells me he should just leave, or that I should just leave, that we should just “call it”, and that he “quits”. He says he’s not going to ask me to stay anymore, etc., etc. Generally, I feel that this is mostly passive-aggressive b.s., but sometimes I think he just means it.
He tells me all the time that I am miserable in the relationship, but I don’t feel miserable! I don’t understand any of this. I feel so lost and unsure of what to do. To top things off, he asked me to quit my job earlier this year so that we could spend more time together (he works from home), and now he wants to get an office outside the home! I feel like he just wants to get away from me but at the same time, keep me tied to him. I just don’t know what to do.
Most of the time, we get along fine…we don’t argue or bicker. He’s a wonderful father to our kids. But, dammit, I’m tired of being told I’m miserable and that I should just leave every time he gets annoyed! Anytime I try to talk to him, he just blows up, so it’s not like I can even discuss any of my feelings w/him because he’s incapable of keeping a reign on his temper. I feel like Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon – “I’m too old for this shit!” What do I do, Elsa? Are there any options outside of “sucking it up” or leaving.. do I have to live the rest of my life like this?
Bereft
United States
Dear Bereft,
Do you realize you have been writing me with this same problem for last five years? It’s the same husband, same wife and same dynamic. It is the same list of good vs evil and the same lack of resolution due the extreme indecisiveness on the part of both parties. The only thing that changes is how you sign your name. Basically you have morphed from “Unsure” to “Bereft” so that’s notable.
As to the problem in your case, it’s your Moon conjunct Pluto in Libra opposing your planets in Aries and you simply can’t decide (Libra) whether to think of yourself (Aries) or your partner and family (Moon in Libra). And your question is, “Do I have to live the rest of my life like this?” The answer is no, of course. But I do think it’s going to take an act of God to separate the two of you and one may well be coming.
Pluto will hit Capricorn in January of 2008 and aspect your half your chart and it’s safe to say this will put an end to the status quo. Thing is it’s not going to be due some small shift or new way of seeing things. You are looking at something more drastic and I don’t mean to scare you because this does not mean “bad”. It means “good” because like you say, you really don’t want to live the rest of your life this, right?
Good luck.
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Leo Woman Engaged To Man Who Displays His Ex-Lover’s Pictures: Pluto Transit to Venus, Jupiter, Pluto T-Square
Dear Elsa,
My fiancee has pictures, movie stubs, concert stubs and other items from his time with his ex-girlfriend on the fridge and hanging up. After a little while of dating, I asked him to take down the photos; he would take down one at a time after I would ask and not without some retort about their insignificance. Okay then. They broke up two years ago…but she did text him this past winter. He also has a picture of her from two years ago in his phone which he says he just didn’t get around to deleting.
I fancy myself a pretty patient and open minded person… but I think if he is over this person, then the pics should be put away. I have albums of exes and I love keeping them around. I still listen to mixes they made me, wear jewelry they bought me, etc. I don’t expect anything different from him or anyone I would date…. but with things like pictures of them together out in the open, I don’t feel welcome at his place. Am I overreacting to this?
I told him at the time of asking the pics to come down that if he has stuff to deal with in regard to this ex, that it is fine. We can be friends or just date and take things slower and see what happens. But each time he would say he loves me, has never felt this way before and has been talking marriage talk with me pretty much since the beginning and it makes me happy. I just love this person.
We are great together, passionate about each other, have a great time seeing bands/going to movies/camping/nights talking/etc, and just love each other. I don’t doubt that. It’s perfect except for this one thing that I just don’t get. He’s dated a lot and all of his friends are surprised at how fast things are moving with us. He just says I’m the one. Basically, he rushed full on into getting engaged and wanting to marry me… we even met the parents and family last month! His mom is helping to get the ring too.
I am going through a pluto/venus opposition right now and am wondering if I am projecting astrology or is it just really manifesting this way to an ending/life change Pluto control thing?
Is my leonine ego just warped as all get out??
Perplexed and Patient
United States
Dear Perplexed.
You think you’re perplexed? You ought to be me reading your post. I was thinking, how can this woman put up with this?
So I put up your chart and could see at least a hundred reasons. And obviously outlining them is beyond the scope of this blog. So rather than worry about trying to untangle what all is driving you, I’ll just give you my read on this.
It seems to me your boyfriend is obsessed and carrying a torch for his ex. If that is true, there is no way in the world you should marry him under these circumstances. I don’t even think you should date him. You know. Call me when you take down the shrine, dipshit!
Second, I would pay mind to the way his friends are reacting. It’s not good. It seems they strongly suspect he is careening ‘round the track in his car, destined to crash and they are probably right.
Last, the mother. Look out! Mothers tend to know their sons and I am sure this one knows her son is in love with the other woman… or with the memory/hologram of her. That she is rushing to get you a ring scares the hell out of me because I think you are being used.
Are you supposed to be the duct tape that holds her son together? Are you supposed to be the barrier that prevents her son getting back with his ex? These things are scary.
I see and appreciate the fact you want to keep your ego under control, etc. But I don’t think you are reading your Pluto transit correctly. In the simplest terms, I think what you’ve got here is a shadow side to your love and it’s (Jupiter) enormous.
Good luck.
~~
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Scorpio Wife Forgives Cheating Libra Husband But He Won’t Let Go The Other Woman
Dear Elsa,
For the past several months, my husband (a Libra) has been having an affair with a woman he met at his former job. I have forgiven him and have tried to make it work, but he cannot or will not stop contact with her. He tells me he loves both of us and that he doesn’t want to lose me but that if it doesn’t work out with us, he wants to try with her.
My question is, how do I extricate myself from this situation? I have loved my husband for 17 years and it breaks my heart that this is how this is going to end. I do love this man very much and if there is a way I can keep my family together -we have a 12 year old daughter- then I want to find a way. But sharing him is not an option. If there is no way, then I would like your advice on the best way to get myself out of this situation. I will be eagerly awaiting your response.
Scorpio Wife
United States
Dear Wife,
I feel for you. This is about as clear as mud and your husband appears to have lost his mind. Here’s what I can tell you from astrology:
Your husband has five planets in Libra and apparently he really cannot decide. The funny part is that he’s not the one that is going to get to decide. Because he can’t decide, you are going to decide and it sounds as if you already have. You aren’t sharing him and I don’t blame you. So here’s the reality of the situation:
You husband is pinned to the pat. You can just imagine him tacked up on a dart board because that’s where he is. He’s impotent in the situation and his chart reflects this. Won’t or can’t, indeed. He is powerless and don’t you forget it.
You, on the other hand, are mobile. And it doesn’t matter if he is too disabled to figure out where the lines go and draw them; you are suffering no such impairment. And although I realize this is gross… I don’t think you have a choice but to send your husband to this other woman. Why? Because he won’t let her go! And that’s not okay with you, remember?
And I would also point out he is asking for this situation to occur. “If it doesn’t work out with you…” He is making sure it doesn’t work out with you by keeping the other woman in his life, wouldn’t you say? And can you stop that? You can’t. So it only leaves you this one option. Let him go try to “make it work” as he says. And you know what?
I bet it doesn’t work very well! Because your husband is generally very responsible as I am sure you know. And his daughter is going to be saying, “Hey dad, what the hell?” which is a very good question. So I think you’ve got a good chance to save your marriage but not unless you make a decision for him because remember? He can’t do it.
One more thing….
Your husband has no transits indicating divorce. He’s on the dartboard, remember? I’m not kidding about that. He is going nowhere. You on the other hand have all the energy. You are the one with the heavy duty transits and I’ll tell you what that means.
It means if you leave him, then he will be left – not the other way around. It means if he leaves you and goes to her, he will still be on the dart board. He will accomplish nothing, but you will be infused with energy.
I hope you get this and on the chance it helps let me spell it out one more time in the plainest language I know:
You – Hard on
Him – Flaccid
You win.
Good luck.
~~
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Scorpio Woman With Children, Married To Pisces Man, Drawn To Cancer Man
Dear Elsa,
I am a Scorpio woman married to a Pisces man for 12 years. I love him, but I cheated with a Cancer friend from my past. My husband found out and it’s been horrible.
We have 3 kids together: 11, 10, and 7 but I have become very unhappy. My husband cheated 7 years into the marriage with his high school ex. This has caused a lot of pain. He says it is over but in 2006 when I lost a baby 5 months pregnant, he said he was finally letting her go. That is when I realized he had not done so before.
I want to leave this relationship and I’m drawn to my Cancer friend. Should I walk away from all parties and start anew? My feelings for my Cancer friend are stronger than his, and he wants me to try to work on things since I have kids. I’m lost and need direction.
Scorpio Mom
United States
Dear Scorpio,
There is no way I can make this decision for you or even offer an opinion. But I can perhaps give some clarity and that might help.
First, I cannot tell which man you love by reading this. And rather than write you back and ask for clarification, I left it this way because I think it’s important. Being drawn to someone is not love, is it? But on the other hand, you plainly state you want to leave your marriage so it does not sound as if you love him either. So considering this, the Cancer comes out on top, so let’s talk about him.
He doesn’t want you. And I don’t say that to hurt you. I am trying to help you and it’s very simple. When a man tells you to stay with another man, it means they don’t want you even if they couch in terms like “because of your kids”. That sounds like a Cancer MO to me. He’s so sensitive. He’s so innocent. But he’s leaving out all kinds of things, isn’t he? Things like that he got in your marriage in the first place.
So here’s your deal: you have a husband and a family which presumably you can turn your attention back towards. Alternately you can divorce and look for another relationship but I don’t think you are going to come up with anything better than what you’ve got without some serious soul-searching.
The option that is not open to you is the Cancer man, and I hope realizing this leads nearer the exit of this labyrinth you’re caught in.
Oh! And as for your husband’s disclosure, his timing was lousy. But fact is, that was a positive development.
I am very sorry for your loss. Good luck.
~~
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Pisces Man Getting A Divorce He Does Not Want
Dear Elsa,
I moved out of my home a month ago and filed for divorce 2 weeks later, all because that’s what my wife wanted. There has been physical and mental abuse from both parties and my wife has a court date in 2 weeks due to a domestic violence issue. We stopped sleeping together about 4 years ago.
My wife met another man online 2 years ago and went to meet him in person about the same time I filed for divorce. She claims she is too confused right now and wants to cut him out of her life, but not before she tells him that she loves him. I want us to get back together, but all she wants right now is to go full speed ahead with the divorce – even though she claims she doesn’t know how she will feel down the road.
I called her several times a day to beg, plead and reason with her for the first 3 weeks but it’s been a week now since I talked to her. I just wanted to back off and give her some breathing room. I want nothing more than to win my wife back but I am afraid it might be too late. How can I tell if she will ever take me back – or if it’s time for me to move on with my life?
Pisces Husband
Mexico
Dear Pisces.
It sounds to me as if you are serious and it also sounds as if you have a chance to win your wife back – but you are going to have to revolutionize your way of being. And if you are not willing to do this, I am sure a separation is in both your best interests. But so long as you’re willing to really change, here is a map. These are the steps you can take and and with a Capricorn Moon and rising I am sure you know how to follow a plan.
First withdraw the petition for divorce if you can. If she wants a divorce, let her file it. You don’t want a divorce, so what are you doing getting one?
Next, whatever the issues of abuse are, solve them. Don’t care what she did to you. That’s her problem to solve. But you’ve got to stop hitting her, yelling at her, or whatever else you are doing – and you have got to stop it completely. If you find this a challenge, get a therapist and figure out why but you must do this 100%. This is non-negotiable.
You must also use your dick! For Godsakes you cannot let your wife languish and go without sex for 4 years! Are you crazy? Are you drunk? Whatever you are, fix it! Women need sex from men to thrive! PERIOD. You are in your early forties for Chrissakes. There is no excuse!
So there you go. If you hit your wife and deprive her of sex, as far as I am concerned she ought to go find another man! And so she did. But in this case, even though she may love him, she apparently doesn’t want him or she would be gone! So it does seem she may be trying to make a point and you may have a chance… and if so I hope you use it.
But from one Capricorn to another, I can tell you right now: if you keep doing “the wrong thing”, you’re going to do nothing but continue to roll down the hill.
Good luck.
~~
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Stumbled On Her Husband’s Porn Stash After 18 Years: Saturn Transit to 8th House Stellium In Virgo
Dear Elsa,
Basically I have lost trust in my husband since discovering his secret use of porn a year and a half ago. I have been with my husband for 18 years and married for 12 of them. We have two boys 13 and 15.
I have addressed so much about our relationship but he just wishes I hadn’t found out because I am a problem to him now. He was fine with things before I discovered his stash. But in truth, (and I told him prior to discovering the porn but this feel on deaf ears), I’ve found him very distant emotionally. I think I want to leave him but he doesn’t make it easy because he just keeps saying he is happy apart from my reaction to the porn. I feel confused.
Wife
England
Dear Wife,
I wish I could make this easy for you but I don’t think it’s possible. The fact is, you are in a long term marriage with kids and while I don’t blame you for wanting to bolt, I don’t think you are going to be able to manage this and I’ll explain.
Right now you are confused. And leaving a marriage is very hard especially with children. So if you are going to do this, you have your mind completely set. Unless you are 100% committed, the odds are overwhelming you will initiate this process only to return to the marriage – initiate, return, etc. – which will not only trash you but your children as well. So I am afraid you are going to have to stay put and suffer through the mulling over of this, until something definitive emerges from the muck.
Now astrologically you have a stellium in Virgo in the 8th house which rules sex, psychology, joint property, etc. And Saturn (your chart ruler) will soon be transiting these planets, in essence waking you up to reality.
And you can see this is coming in because you report your husband is emotionally unavailable and it looks as though you have stumbled onto a key to this. And though it is clear you would rather not use that key and delve into these waters, I do not think you will be able to avoid it.
In fact, these type of issues – sex and all things deep and hidden from view – are going to be front and center in your life for the next two years. And will this be good for you?
It will. I believe you are heading straight into hell – how can you not be? However, when you come out the other side, you are going to be empowered and energized like you never thought possible.
As for immediate coping skills early in this process, I would forget about him. Let him worry about his problem (his wife is going to leave him?) while you get to the library or the bookstore and start reading about psych. I think you will be surprised how you take to the subject and I also think you are going to be fine once you commit to facing this head on. In other words, the major distress right now is in your erroneous thinking you can avoid dealing with this.
Good luck.
~~
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Pisces Woman Separated From Her Husband – He Got Another Woman Pregnant, Now Wants To Come Back: Saturn Return
Dear Elsa,
My husband & I have been separated for six months. He left me because he felt we needed some time apart, so I filed for DIVORCE. But I wasn’t really sure about following through with it!
However after months went by, I began dating someone else – and they decided to throw me a birthday party. My spouse heard about it. I told him he wasn’t invited several times but he showed up anyway and got into a fight with my male friend right outside of the party!
Now my husband wants to come back; however I found out he is having a BABY with someone else.
What should I do?
Separated
United States
Dear Separated,
You’ve got a true mess here. It sounds as if your husband wanted to go play for awhile but what is good for the goose is not good for the gander. On the other hand, you run off half-cocked and file for divorce without knowing if you even want one. So here’s my advice: Get fully cocked! And to do that you are going to have to slow down.
Now it sounds like you still love your husband to me. And I don’t blame you. I also don’t blame you for getting yourself in a tizzy and filing for a divorce. I am pretty sure I would have done the same thing at your age. Basically you just started shooting the place up. Makes sense to me.
But your Saturn return is coming up and it’s time to start thinking about what kind of adult you want to be. Because as you see, things are serious now, aren’t they? Your husband has created a child with a woman who is not you, and it doesn’t get more sobering than that. So what to do?
Well you’re going to have to search your heart. How much do you love your husband? Do you think you could ever trust him again? What is your play in this? And most of all, what is the right thing to do?
You realize if you stay married, your husband is financially responsible for his child at the very least. And ideally, he will be part of his child’s life. Can you deal with that? Do you love him enough to love his child even if you are not their mother?
I think it is okay either way but you can see this is a grown-up decision so you best grow up to make it. Because whichever choice you make, you are going to live with it for the rest of your life.
So this is where you’re at and what you are going to have to do and I can tell you this: Besides your Saturn return, Pluto will soon be squaring your Moon so there will be no easy way out here. And I don’t mean to scare you. I just want you to know it’s time to downshift and you can expect to stay in the lower gears for some time. And the upside?
Well you really can’t go on the way you’ve been going on, can you? So the universe sends this crisis.
Much love and good luck.
~~
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