Dear Beleaguered,

I feel very bad for you because it seems you are surrounded by the enemy. Just who is on your side here? No one I can identify.

Now I am very sorry but I don’t think your situation is likely to work out and your husband is the reason why. He is not really married to you, is he? He is married to his mother, to his mother’s mother, to his friends and to his motherland. And if you will accept all this, then fine. He’ll be married to you too and if not? Well then apparently you can kiss his ass.

Now to his credit (and yours for being honest about this), it does not seem he misrepresented himself. So what you got here is exactly what you bargained for, which was a really crappy bargain.

Because it sounds like you do everything. Except maybe plow the back forty and rub down the cows and as you can see… none of this matters. You are not only not appreciated, you are completely discardable to these people – and preferably as soon as possible.

So you see the situation here. I believe you’ve made a mistake. And I agree with the grandma, you should get out before you have a child – but not for his sake, for yours!!

Because it’s obvious you are not cut out to live in a family compound and believe me, these pricks are going to keep up the pressure until they win and they will win. Why? Because you are one. And they are many, and they are mean.

I say, run! Run for your life. This is not a family you want to be part of. As if they’d let you.

And if you leave, brace yourself. Because this family is going to blame you for everything while they coddle him. So you get the picture. Stay or go, you aren’t going to win.

I’m sorry.

Good luck.

~~
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I asked which love memories were most precious because I’m aware lately, little things mean a lot. His job is grueling. He works hard and he comes home tired. This didn’t stop him from going to Lila’s dog school with me over the weekend.

The class is six weeks long and I am on my own with it. Lila is a willful, energetic dog. She really can’t stand to miss a class but the fact is, doing these little things together is a highlight for us. He gets to see the people in the class that I have talked about while he’s on the road and he gets to show up and support his wife and family, be part of what is going one, which is his way.

Continue reading Love And The Small Stuff

With Saturn in Libra, another theme I am seeing in consultations is women who are having to defend their relationships from an outside threat, usually an ex of their husband or boyfriend who contacts via facebook. Even if the man is not interested, it undermines the relationship and often calls for action.

“Well I like my way. I may be crazy but you’ve got to admit its one hell of a deterrent,” I told my husband, circa 2007. “Are you sure you want to screw around with my man?  There are easier targets you know.”

Continue reading Defending Your Relationship From The Other Woman

Dear Marriage,

Well, you sound perfectly miserable. I’m sure I would be same if I were married to a depressed man who threw our money away, while leaving me to shrivel up and die on the vine in the bed.

As to whose fault it is… well obviously, you have a very difficult partner here. However it was you who picked him. And why is that?  You may as well stay until you can figure this out and with that I can probably help.

Continue reading Astrology-Based Advice: Gambling Addict Husband Is Depressed, Second Marriage On The Rocks

Dear Roving,

You are definitely kidding yourself. I would caution you to believe what he’s telling you. He’s not going to upset his situation. If you want to go a round with him, I imagine you can. Personally, I believe he’s seducing you.

And you? Well, you’re a good girl, but sort of a Persephone figure. Hades takes her down, but she’s not entirely unhappy about this. So this is where you’re at. You’re part of a myth and I don’t know what you’re going to do but I hope you hear him loud and clear: HE IS NOT GOING TO UPSET HIS SITUATION.

For the record, if it were me, I would tell him to get his sexual energy off me, right before I punched his lights out. Because that’s what he’s doing. He’s got copious amounts of Scorpio underneath that Sadge grin and he’s workin’ you.

Good luck.

~~
pictured – Death of the Bride, 1895, oil on canvas, Thomas Cooper Gotch, (b.1854-d.1931)

Dear Aries,

I feel very sorry for you because with 5 planets in Aries all ruled by Mars in Aquarius, I am sure that patience is not a strong suit. However this is the dismal situation for people like you (and I am one of them). We can’t just leave! We think we can and we wish and hope that this is the case but what we find out is you can’t get out until you get out and I can tell you right now if that time had come you would not be asking me what to do, you would already be long gone. This said, it does not mean you have to stay with a man who is sleeping with another woman and if that does not make sense to you, I’ll explain.

You can leave. You can get your own place and you probably should. You can tell him not to contact you until he has come to decision and you should probably do that as well. Just don’t mistake this for being “out” of this relationship because that will not be the case.

You have a long history with this man and you have his baby growing inside your body so you are nowhere near done but yeah. If I were you I would get my own place, take some space for sure. And quit fighting with him while you’re at it. Believe it or not, he will probably miss that… as no one spends 10 years with 5 planets in Aries and doesn’t like the heat.

Good luck.

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Dear Teenager,

Reading your story and looking at the five planets in Capricorn and the Moon in your chart I am going to assume you’ve had a very rough start in this life and I have a lot of empathy for you.

Now you sound like a kind and responsible person. You don’t want to hurt your husband but on the other hand I don’t think it is fair you be held to a life decision you made when you were 14 years old.

And you are probably afraid as well. Afraid of everything, that is which is okay. It is normal. I know I would be scared to death if I were you. If you do this, then that. If you do that, then this. However the universe is forcing your hand.

The universe is forcing your hand in the form of a Pluto transit to your Venus in Capricorn. This transit virtually guarantees change in your relationship status so I would do what Capricorn does best… plan and execute slowly.

If you are afraid to talk to your husband today, then don’t talk to him today. Start by committing to talk to him as soon as you get your nerve up and then look at what steps you can take each day that will move you closer to where you want to be.

For example, how will you support yourself (and your child / children if you have them)? If you need training, get it. I am thinking if you start taking the steps like this, you will in effect be committing to your eventual independence and considering you are a Sagittarian, eventually you will blurt the truth to your husband in a way that is natural.

For what it is worth, I have a lot of faith in you. Although you have and had had a very hard row I am sure you will land on your feet and I promise you life will get sweeter as you go.

Much love and good luck.

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Dear Wife,

I don’t blame you for not trusting your husband because he has been lying and with a stellium in Sagittarius, the truth and your spiritual beliefs are very important to you. You sound very clearheaded about who you are, how you feel and what kind of parent you want to be – so let that sink in. It will help lead you to a decision.

Though “addiction” may be overstating the situation, it is clear your husband is repeating a pattern that existed before you came into his life. This shows that without a doubt his porn use has nothing to do with you or your desirability although we know he likes to place blame. Let that sink in as well.

Now you know I can’t make this call for you but with all your Sagittarius you have an innate eye on the future and I think you can see what is coming if no change is made. Unfortunately your husband is the one who has got to change and this is not likely at least in the near term when his main way of addressing this is to lie, deny and make counter allegations.

That’s a pretty solid position by the way. It’s a very strong defense and I do not think you will be able to defeat it without some kind of intervention. A therapist for example or maybe someone from your church. And considering you have a baby on the way I surely wouldn’t break up your family without taking this step. And I know there are people who would say that your husband has the right to look at all the porn he wants and this is true. But you have rights as well. You have the right to be in a relationship that supports your self esteem and you have the right to raise your daughter in an environment you think is appropriate and you definitely have the right to a husband who does not lie to you.

I would also add, the fact he told you he didn’t love his ex-wife and this is why he used porn plays here. Since he still uses porn, you must wonder how he feels about you and this probably exacerbates your bad feelings. If you go back up and read what he said to you… every time he looks at porn he is sending you a subconscious message that he does not love you and is not attracted to you. I am not sure this is actually the case so just be aware what is being triggered here.

Good luck.

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