Astrology-Based Advice: Devastating Young Life – Sexual Abuse, Parents Dead: Sun Conjunct Saturn In Scorpio
I have had problems in my life since as long as I can remember. My parents died when I was young, I was sexually abused as a child, I never lived in a place for more than 2 years, and I ran away at 16. However I remained a fairly happy child through all this.
Now as an adult, I’m constantly fighting fits of depression or incredible anger. One moment I’m fine, the next I’m blowing up at my husband because he pronounced a word wrong (or something else small like that). I feel like I’m never truly happy and I don’t know how it that is, now that I have everything I’ve wanted for so long (a family and security).
I also have a tendency to pretty much live in the past. I just can’t let it go. Is there something wrong with me or is it part of my destiny to suffer?
No, I don’t think it is your destiny to suffer, I think it’s your destiny to heal and beyond that to help others heal. Who better for that than you? With your vast experience of suffering you are uniquely positioned, don’t you think? I do. But let me address some of these other things.
Your experience is common for survivors of abuse. You finally get yourself to a place where you have a modicum of security and this is when the shit hits the fan. Because prior to this time, you are functioning in some sort of survival mode. Functioning highly too, something you should be proud of. But now it’s time to heal.
Ask the collective
I am wondering about relationships where there a lot of Pluto aspects at work, deep intense crazy connections, that seem to be rearranging your inner organs, can they last?
What I mean is, if Pluto is transforming and obsessive, and related to death and rebirth, is it the kind of thing a relationship can have a lot of and survive? Is there sort of a built in time frame, a transformational process that naturally ends, or does it just keep working on you endlessly?
I feel like I’m in the midst of yet another transition or maybe still transitioning, having not yet found my place in the world, not yet found my love/life partner in this world, not yet found my livelihood in this world and desperate for all (and secretly wishing they are all intertwined with each other). It’s not for lack of opportunity or interested companions -I’ve had & have numerous wonderful men profess their love & desire to be married or build a life together. Ok, so maybe I’m a commitment-phobe aka having to have everything right & perfect before I can completely trust and commit.
Where is this ridiculous fear coming from? I know… it’s coming from me. I suppose the real question is, how do I bust it?…will I bust it?…so I might fully engage in life like I know is possible!!
Many thanks Elsa for your insight!!
Looking For My Captain’s Hat
I have no idea what your signature means but I left it intact for others to puzzle over while I try to crack your problem, which I feel is far more common than the people care to admit. The cause, and the specifics from person to person are endlessly varied but what you have in common is this: You have cracked 40 years old and you are alone. I’ll tell you exactly why I think this is.
Continue reading Commitment Phobic In Her 40′s: Now What? Astrology-Based Advice
Astrology in real life
Come one, come all!
Venus and Mars will be conjunct in Scorpio for almost a month. It is deliciously deep and dark and y’all know I love this stuff.
I don’t like the fallout from writing about it though. I don’t like to censor myself. I do like to speak freely. I don’t like people to feed off me so I’ve decided to do an intensive in the Colosseum called, Elsa P’s Blood and Guts Astrology Class.
I’m desperately trying to make the transition from the prison of a day job to a self-employed gig. So far one effort’s gone down in flames and the second one turned out to have problems. Some of the problems I created with my own actions, and some of them stemmed from my boss’ personality type.
I’ve been contemplating starting a business which would dovetail with the current one, but suddenly I’m afraid. Do I have any business being in business?
Burned Now Shy
You are a Capricorn.
There’s not a Capricorn on this planet that does not have natural business acumen. This includes the ten-year-olds. Aside from your Capricorn sun, your chart has great emphasis on the Cardinal signs – Aries, Libra, Cancer and Capricorn. These signs were born to lead and this is why you’re so miserable working for someone else. It’s because you are a natural boss.
I’ve been married to a Taurus for a dozen years now, and we have an 8-year-old boy together. We have a good marriage despite the constant arguments and differences.
Recently, I met a Sagittarius who’s charmed me out of my wits. The attraction is mutual, and I’ve become thoroughly enchanted even though I know ours is a hopeless relationship. He is married with 2 kids. He says he is not going to upset his situation.
I tell myself that I can control this relationship and it will enrich my life without hurting anybody. Am I kidding myself?
You are definitely kidding yourself. I would caution you to believe what he’s telling you. He’s not going to upset his situation. If you want to go a round with him, I imagine you can. Personally, I believe he’s seducing you.
And you? Well, you’re a good girl, but sort of a Persephone figure. Hades takes her down, but she’s not entirely unhappy about this. So this is where you’re at. You’re part of a myth and I don’t know what you’re going to do but I hope you hear him loud and clear: HE IS NOT GOING TO UPSET HIS SITUATION.
For the record, if it were me, I would tell him to get his sexual energy off me, right before I punched his lights out. Because that’s what he’s doing. He’s got copious amounts of Scorpio underneath that Sadge grin and he’s workin’ you.
pictured – Death of the Bride, 1895, oil on canvas, Thomas Cooper Gotch, (b.1854-d.1931)
My eye on the sky
The Moon leaves Libra for Scorpio today where it will be inordinately well aspected as it transits the sign over the next two days. The Sun, Venus, Mars, Saturn and Pluto all offer support to the debilitated Moon and psychotherapy is favored.
Anyone who takes time to probe their subconscious, their deep emotion, the psychological patterns that run in their family or through the collective is liable to come up with the goods over the next two days.
It’s also a good time to think about legacy, both what you have inherited as well as what you will leave behind for the generations that follow your own.
Purging is also favored. We have a stellium in Virgo so out with clutter be it real or psychological.
See what is coming up – Transit Watch
Astrology And Style
The very interesting Tilda Swinton is a Scorpio arthouse and blockbuster actress. Tilda’s Sun, Neptune and Mercury are in Scorpio, and when we see so many planets in Scorpio there is often an inheritance of some kind from the family. In Tilda’s case, she can trace her Anglo-Scots family back to the 9th century. Tilda was raised in London and attended the same school as Diana, Princess of Wales.
Continue reading Astrology And Fashion: Celebs And Their Style- Tilda Swinton by Annalisa
Astrology in real life
I had a very frustrating conversation with a gal last week, this was in my personal life having nothing to do with my blog. She’s young and not that bright I am sorry to say. I have been waiting for her to figure things out for the better part of a year and this is starting to occur mostly because I am so forceful.
Heads Up from Elsa P!
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