Here’s another story about Kay (a real person with a fake name) – a double Aquarius gal I used to run with. This is circa 1994.
We were out for the evening in downtown Denver, which is a walking around situation. You park the car and walk from here to there and everywhere. Kay had to pee so we stopped in a little bar we’d never been in before, and made our way through it to the restrooms in the back.
It was a small place, both the bar and the restroom. In fact, it was a one-seater in there, so she went in, while I waited outside restroom door. I got talking to a man standing nearby who was great distress.
Astrology in Real Life…
From 2006 – Pedro is a pseudonym.
Ben is a life long friend of mine. 25 years or so. He a Scorpio, and a bi-racial, gay, cello player and teacher. He’s plays with various symphony orchestras and has been the musical director of a school district for more than twenty years. We’re on the phone here.
“Oh, Elsa. I have this one kid. He is such a mess. He’s a terrible mess and his mother doesn’t help. She always saying, wait’ll you get married and have kids, Pedro,” he clucked. “Pedro isn’t going to do that. Pedro is gay!”
Continue reading Conversations With Ben – A Public Service Announcement: Gay Youth
Lesbian Wonders If She Should Wait On Ice While Her Girlfriend Marries And Has A Baby With A Man: Astrology-Based Advice
I’m a lesbian. Yes. It was hard to swallow at first, but I began to accept that fact after trying to form many relationship with guys who were interested in me. Nothing came out of any of those ‘normal’ relationships accept the fact that I became more attracted to girls.
I’ve been in love with someone who claims she wants to get married to a man who is able to give her a child she’s craving. She persistent in convincing me this her only reason to ‘be’ with a man, to have a child of her own. I can feel her love for me after she bravely went through many obstacles for wanting to be with me & keeping our relationship a secret (as her family & society would not approve of this relationship of ours). Deep inside, I have doubts of her promises to me.
Do I succumb to her ‘need’ to be a mother and share our time together with her soon-to-be husband? She promised to divorce him as soon as the child is delivered and continue to share her life with me. I know she is just using him for that personal reason of hers.
She told me that if I became lonely while waiting for her…I could form another relationship with other girl, as long I don’t give my heart to another.
I don’t want to be insensitive to the challenge of being a lesbian in your culture but I think you are missing the plot here.
Your girlfriend is incredibly self-centered. She is setting out to use a man so that she can have a baby with the intention of leaving him which will deprive both the father and her child and why is she doing this? Because she is incredibly self-centered.
Continue reading Lesbian Wonders If She Should Wait On Ice While Her Girlfriend Marries And Has A Baby With A Man: Astrology-Based Advice
My fiance has told me several times that I’m rude. She’s not the only one that has told me that. I’ve heard this many many times before throughout my life. That I interrupt, that I’m patronizing, that I’m selfish in conversation, and that in conversation I say things in a rude tone of voice. Why do I keep doing this? Actually, why don’t I notice when I do this?? I don’t want to be rude to
people, especially my soulmate. Is this something that I can change or is this something innate?
Continue reading Her Fiance Says She Is Rude: Astrology-Based Advice
Astrology in real life
Ben is half-white/ half-black, a gay cello player and teacher. We have been very close friends for twenty years. He’s a Scorpio, with an Aquarius rising and an Aries Moon. Here he defends (Saturn) his eccentricity (Uranus).
Ben has taught cello in the local school system for 20 years… barefoot. He plays with various symphony orchestras, same way. Barefoot. I dialed him up one night.
“How are you, Ben?”
“Okay, Elsa. Except someone called me eccentric, today.”
Aquarius is known to be eccentric. “Yeah?” I asked.
Continue reading Conversations With Ben – Saturn Opposite Uranus: Defending Eccentricity
Ask the collective
I’m a gay man who recently met a Libra man who is two years older than me (They are 55 and 57). We communicate well, joke around and have very similar dietary and exercise habits. He is much more calm than I am which balances things out. My question
is that he seems aloof at times and very into his job and caring for his dog and is a homebody.
Any advice on how a Scorpio should understand a Libra man besides just chilling and letting things take their course?? Thanks!!
Dear Scorpio, letting things take there course is always the best plan. General tips for Libra – well they love to partner. Once partnered they can relax and it sounds like this is what this man is doing.
You also specifically state he is balancing things out which is the job of Libra. This means if you act one extreme they will typically act the other but if you do too much of this (Scorpio manipulating), you risk pissing off the Libra which is always disastrous. Because while Libra does try very hard to be pleasant, if you get one to blow, you can expect a bloodbath.
Scorpio Man In Love With Man Who Kissed Him, Later Confessed He Had A Boyfriend: Astrology-Based Advice
I have been single for a couple of months and was pretty happy being single. But I started thinking that I wanted to get back into the dating game or attempt to maybe find someone special. I am not really into the gay scene with going to gay bars and such, so I decided to use the internet.
I signed up with this site and within 5 minutes a really good looking, down to earth guy started messaging me and boom we started talking. I lost track of time but it was for a long time on the site then msn then eventually the phone. He was really sweet and it seemed we really connected and there was potential chemistry. He was like I’ve never met a guy like you, you’re really cute and awesome. The day after we decided to meet for coffee.
During the meet we still managed to have that same intense chemistry that we did over the net. I was pretty excited. Then he wanted to show me his car and we kinda went joyriding up and down a street in his brand new car. He then brought me back to my car but before I got out, he grabbed me and started kissing me. I have never felt an intense kiss in my life. It was so passionate, intense and chilling, one of those kisses that makes your spine tingle. So after about 20 minutes of making out, I left and then he called me at home. But he was a little strange and he told me that he had to tell me something and he had to be honest.
He told me that he was dating someone for the last 10 months and was in a serious relationship. My whole world collapsed, I know it’s strange that he loves someone so much but yeah kissed me but I confronted him about and asked if he really loves his boyfriend and he said he does, but doesn’t know if he’s the one. I was very upset but he was practically begging me to continue talking to him and that we could stay friends. Even though my heart wrenched I agreed.
So for about a month now we just been texting back and forth saying hi and meet for coffee here and there. Thing is I am starting to fall for him and I know it won’t work because he has a boyfriend and I would think if we start dating, whose to say he won’t do to someone else what he did to me. So I have been kinda off avoiding him. I didn’t hear from him for about a week and then he texted me saying if I was alright and if I was mad. I know I should have told him the truth but I lied and said I was just busy with school and work and just going through ‘stuff’ he said that If I needed someone to talk to he would be there for me. Another three days passed and he messaged me again saying he wanted to know why I wouldn’t talk to him and give him a reason. I again lied and told him I am not mad just busy. I don’t like lying but I don’t know what to do. He is one of the coolest guys that I have come across and I don’t want him to go regardless but I know hes committed to someone else. But its eating me up inside I really want to tell him but I am scared that hes just gonna say sorry I am taken and we can’t talk or hang out anymore. I think…I am in lov with him.
What do I do Elsa help!!!
In Love And Confused
He’s cool but you are not, so I am going to try to help with that and I hope you don’t get too pissed off at me in the process. First, what this guy has is a hook in your mouth. Feel it, know it, understand it is there. So while you are a fish on his hook, he has no such problem. He’s got this guy over here… you over there and more than likely he’s got some other hooks out as well so how does this make you feel? A little less giddy, I hope.
You (with a stellium in Scorpio) have given your power up to some guy for a kiss and if you don’t mind being caught while he swims free, then do nothing but if you want your freedom back or if you want to wind up with this guy, you are going to have to take your power back and it’s not that hard to do.
Just turn off the faucet. Quit responding to text messages. For Godsakes quit lying because it is clear from your post (and your planets in Sagittarius) that it makes you uncomfortable and besides that it’s getting you nowhere.
Once you have cut off the energy you are giving him, one of two things will happen. He will go away or come closer and my bet is he will come closer.
If he comes closer, this is when you tell him they way it’s got to be if he wants to have an interaction with you because it appears you have some standards and then you go from there. If he does not come closer, I wouldn’t worry about it because like you said, if he does this to one boyfriend then he will probably (not positively) do it you.
But if you do get together and he does not do it to you it will be because you have found your strength and power and prowess and decided to use these things rather than leave them lying about.
My advice – Get that hook out, do it now.
I am a gay man and met a guy in Feb this year. A few weeks later, he told me he could not have a relationship with me as he had found out his mother could be dying of cancer. Therefore he could not be happy whilst his and his family’s world was falling apart. I was devastated as I had already fallen in love with him.
Over the last few months we have stayed in touch and I have found out he has been seeing other guys, which has been really upsetting. I confronted him as to why he is seeing others when we could be together. He basically said he didn’t want a relationship with me or anyone at the moment and denied sleeping with anyone. At one point in May he decided that he wanted us to try again. I was happy with this but very soon he closed up again and said no.
I have been patient yet hurting all the time. In October his mother sadly passed away. I saw him and tried to support him although I still know he is busy dating other guys. I have tried walking away but cant. I’m still in love with him. For some reason he wont walk away either.
Is there any hope for us?
No, I don’t think there is any hope of changing the dynamic of this relationship and it suits you perfectly as is, whether you realize this or not.
As an Aquarian with Venus in Aquarius you want a lot of space and with this man, you get it. You also have your Moon and Mars in Aries so you like the challenge he provides. He must be perennially hunted, see? But most of all it’s the pining.
You have Venus square Neptune and there is a part of you that is addicted to pining for this un-gettable man but check this:
If you get him… if you actually get this guy and nail him down I guarantee you the situation will flip on you. Instead of where you are now, you will be pining for freedom and challenge. Pretty trippy, huh?
I admit that living in this hall of mirrors with various drives conflicting is a job. However it is your job and at least you’re not bored or boring.
I am living with my boyfriend of four years in his very small hometown while we take a break between college and grad school. His best friend since childhood lives a short trip away so we see him often.
I think the best friend is in love with my boyfriend. Neither has ever expressed an interest in the same sex but when they are together there is such energy and chemistry. I hadn’t thought of it until my mother visited and was concerned because when the two of them are together, they kind of gang up on me. The teasing starts to have a really mean edge sometimes.
So now I can’t stop thinking about it and noticing little things that I didn’t before. My boyfriend is an Aquarius.
Should I ask him straight out if he might be gay? Or if his friend might be? Should I first try to figure out whether my own insecurity is making me jump to conclusions? Or wonder if my mother’s ‘concern’ is actually sabotage?
I don’t want to jeopardize the relationship with damaging accusations, but I’m starting to feel lonely and unattractive and that’s no good!
I really have no way of telling if your boyfriend is gay or not. I suspect he is not considering he has spent four years with you and seems comfortable enough interacting with another man. Point being: if he wants it, there it is. You are obviously open-minded so it’s not like the sky is going to fall if he come up with this so it makes me think while his friend may very well be gay (and in love with him) your boyfriend is merely being Aquarian.
To address all points, the fact that you suspect your mother makes me suspect your mother as well so I factor her out and it leaves me to wonder why you are feeling lonely and unattractive. Is it because he is neglecting you in favor of his friend? Or is it because he is boring you?
Because it sounds to me as if he could be being himself (a detached, non-judgmental, not that interested in sex, Aquarian) and you could be finding out you want something very different in a man and on this I have some personal experience.
I had an Aquarian beau once and I was just a million times more sexual and tactile than he was. I also had a very close friend (Ben – we’re still friends 20 years later), who is gay and I asked him… â€˜Is this guy gay or what?”
He asked me how much time the man spent with me and I told him he called me 10 times a day and saw me 5 or 6 times a week. Verdict? Not gay.
“Gay men like men, Elsa. They really have very little interest in women but they love men and there is no way they are going to waste that much of their time in the company of a woman when there are men… everywhere.”
So apply that when debating your boyfriend’s sexual preference and beyond that, here is my advice:
I would definitely not confront him about his sexuality. Instead, focus on what you are getting from the relationship. Because it sounds to me as if you are not getting what you want and need, regardless if he is gay, straight or zebra.
Gay Man In Long Term Relationship Wonders If He Should Cut Losses With His Inattentive Partner: Astrology-Based Advice
I have been dating a guy for 3 years and we just split up last week. Since meeting, we clicked from day one and have been great the whole time. The problem is that from my point of view, he never puts in enough effort into the relationship and any time we do anything special it’s because I arrange it. Weekends away, movies, dinner, holidays, even going to the beach! For the first 2 years he was clueless enough to forget birthdays, Valentine’s day and even recently asked what date our anniversary is on (coming up next month). It’s on the 15th, the same day of the month as my birthday.
I am guilty of putting him down which I regret doing and I know he doesn’t deserve that but little things he does frustrate me and I told him I needed space and that was it. I know he loves me, and I love him, but I just don’t know if I’m expecting too much or if I really am just asking for a little more respect and caring in the relationship. I know we could get back together, but have agreed not to communicate and give each other space for a few weeks. Move on or go back???
This is a great question and while I can’t make a decision for you, I am happy to offer my opinion – and in my opinion you should definitely go back. Go back because you love him and he loves you and this is not all that easy to find.
As to whether you are asking for too much, well you are not. But you asking him to give you something that does not come easy for him and making yourself miserable in the process. In other words you are focusing on the lack, which while it may be real becomes insignificant if you opt to refocus.
The idea of refocusing on the positive goes without saying but you can go much further if you like. You can opt to raise the bar on yourself around what kind of lover you are – and rather than looking to how he can improve, make yourself better than ever.
Make yourself better than ever by being the kind of lover who does not ride their partner’s ass all the time and you will be in demand and loved like never before. And oddly enough, when your partner perceives your higher value, he is very like to start hitting up those birthdays which he knows damned well are important to you… before someone else decides to do it for him. So this is my advice:
Get off his ass, get on your own, watch the result and marvel. And the astrology?
You have hard aspects from Saturn which does give a tendency towards seeing the glass as half-empty. Thing is you can turn this around with work and I promise that if you do, you will see everything in your life improve.
Heads Up from Elsa P!
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