Ask the collective

1 minute astrology

Hi Elsa,

I am SO confused about a recent break-up. I’ve never been so WOWED by a guy right from the start. Not necessarily by his looks – although I started thinking he was really good looking after a date or two. But from our very first emails and dates, I just had such a complete sense of comfort and ease around him.

After we were dating for just a few weeks, he told his sister that he thought he’d met the girl he would marry. I was starting to feel the same way, that I had really met a soulmate. But then the relationship got physical early, and unfortunately that didn’t click so smoothly right off the bat. Not soon after that, he decided he was getting “cold feet”.

The break-up was civil – but I haven’t contacted him since then nor vice-versa. Yet I still think about him ALL the time. I just want to live my life without regrets. Should I try to contact him or work things out?

Sign me,
Left Wondering

Dear Elsa,

I have been dating this man long-distance for 8 months now. He is married, though he’s been separated for two years and is filing for a divorce.

I have a trust issue with him, because he lied about many things as we got to know each other through the ‘net. Since then, everything he has been telling me was correct. He said he is going to have his divorce final next March. So I am giving him all the benefit of doubts until April, and see what he is going to do.

The problem: he is living abroad, and usually calls me daily. Last Wednesday, he said he was going for a two day business trip and that he would call me. I haven’t heard from him since then, and his mobile has been out of reach.

I am trying to analyze… did he disappear? Was he stuck in meetings with no phones? Maybe his wife and kid joined him and now he is breaking things off with me? I’m wondering how I should proceed from here.

Thanks,
Unsure

Come one, come all!

Dear Elsa,

My marriage is ending, which is a very good thing. I am seeing someone else though (a Scorpio), who is adding to the confusion in my life.

He is foreign, ambitious, passionate, and exciting. When I am with him, everything seems so effortless and my problems seem manageable. Because we both are very busy people, we do not spend a ton of time together – but the time we do spend is very fulfilling. He is very demonstrative and affectionate physically and verbally, and tells me he loves me and such. However, this is all tempered with days when he is not exactly cold or ambivalent, but close to that.

He’ll be distant for days, and then jump back to being adoring and attentive. It will seesaw like this. Days that are so lovely… then days that are upsetting, because it seems like we are wasting what precious time we have together. This confuses me.

Is this all just a huge mistake? He has been patient and supportive for the most part, but there are those times when he gets almost fatalistic. There are a million other things going on in my life that make every day a trial, and he has been the one place where I feel calm and like I can be myself for better or worse. But then there are those days when his distance adds to the pressure.

I am so confused, I don’t even know what my question is. Is this worth it? I do absolutely adore him but are we just too different? Is this just crappy timing, or could this work?

Signed,
Overwhelmed

Astrology in real life

Dear Elsa,

I’ve been dating a married man for 3 months, and it has become way too serious. For one, I thought it was a mere fling. But now I’m wondering if there is any future with the man? Is it really meant to be?

The problem is I am feeling so guilty to be betraying so many people by cheating with someone’s husband, but I cannot figure out how to end the relationship. Please help me! I am so in trouble.

Young Woman

Hello Elsa!

A relationship of mine ended recently, and I can’t help but wonder what happened. It was truly the strangest situation I’ve ever been in with another person. I felt like we just couldn’t find a way to just tell each other how we felt and what we wanted. I don’t know who was more scared of being hurt: me or him.

I’ve been telling myself that it was probably my fault it didn’t work out, because I’m basically incapable of any type of serious relationship. But now I’m not so sure about that. Anyway I’ve basically moved on, so I’m just curious if I left behind something really good?

Thanks,
Curious & Confused