Dear Heart,

I don’t believe you don’t enjoy breaking hearts. I think you love breaking hearts and get some kind of ego boost off it. Can you stop? Of course! But I don’t imagine you will anytime soon.

I see the T-Square in your chart. And I believe you seduce these men for the sole purpose of cutting their throats in some misguided show of your prowess… and eventually this will backfire. It’s as if you are a massive alcoholic who has just started drinking. He/she thinks she can go on like this forever, but this is an illusion. Eventually you will wake up and find yourself bereft. If you’re lucky that will be soon but I’m not holding my breath.
Continue reading Commitment Phobic Heart Breaker – Can She Change?

Saturn will leave Libra at the end of the year. Many are trying to decide whether or not they should continue in a certain relationship or not. Here’s a simple no-fail criteria for ya.

Are you trying to decide whether or not to stay in a partnership? Tell us!

Dear Hat,

I have no idea what your signature means but I left it intact for others to puzzle over while I try to crack your problem, which I feel is far more common than the people  care to admit. The cause, and the specifics from person to person are endlessly varied but what you have in common is this: You have cracked 40 years old and you are alone.  I’ll tell you exactly why I think this is.
Continue reading Commitment Phobic In Her 40′s: Now What? Astrology-Based Advice

Dear Wondering,

Someone up there thinks you should be together… are you sure? Maybe someone up there thinks you should be apart! This is what has manifested repeatedly, yes?

I don’t have his chart but I think you’ve got a hard-core dilemma in yours: The minute you’re in a relationship, you want freedom. Three minutes after you get your freedom, you want to commit again! ::shakes head::

I really don’t think it has any to do with this specific man. He probably has a similar setup in his chart, but this pattern is yours, it is not subtle and you’ll constellate it with any man you meet.

Continue reading Astrology-Based Advice: Wants Love, Needs Space in Relationships – Venus in Aspect To Uranus And Saturn

Dear Fence,

Yep, you have a profoundly commitment-phobic chart here (so does he) and I don’t know there is any way you are going to be completely content and satisfied. And I don’t meant this in a critical way. It’s just you want something that does not exist. You want someone you can count on, you want to be special to someone but you do not want any baggage with that. It’s as if you do not want a commitment, but you do, but you don’t and I don’t think there is a cure.

Say this guy commits. Next thing you know you’re moving into his place or he yours. You’re going to merge your lives and it’s going to him, him, him and him. Are you panicked yet?
Continue reading Over 50 and Commitment-Phobic: Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon Baby Boomer

Dear Grand Cross,

You should probably hit the road running if you’ve discovered you want to nest and have children, because he’s told you he doesn’t. But what bothers me more is this guy’s attitude – “something is missing”. It suggests something is missing with you, and though I appreciate he’s always has this problem and apparently has copped to same…well he must like it that way. He must like running through women, because otherwise he’d be trying to figure it out and fix this.

What it sounds like what he’s figured out, is that he likes to be non-committed and this is his story. “Something is missing,” he tells the women. Well hell. I’d say this guarantees the woman will walk at some point which I think is exactly what he wants and ultimately, exactly what he’s going to get.

Sorry and good luck.

Need advice? Ask here!
Subscribe to the Elsa Blog
Info on scheduling a personal consultation

Yesterday I brought up the gazebo conversation to the soldier…

“Yeah, because I’m not a… not a… what word was that I used last night? People think I’m a… did I say hyena?

He snorted. “Hyena?”

“Yeah, is that the word I used?”

“No it was like shrew or something. Oh yeah. Banshee. People think you’re a banshee.”

Continue reading The Gazebo In Sound Of Music – Uh Oh, Reality Intrudes On Neptune

Dear Libra,

It sounds to me as if you don’t like this guy’s passivity and neediness – plain and simple. Never mind he is so badly wanting to partner that he is ready to propose marriage to someone he has known for a month. But you may also hate your own passivity, since you are dating someone you decidedly did not want to date and I think the latter may be as much a problem as the former, as this type conflict is vividly shown in your chart.

You have an Aries rising so are not going to take very kindly to wimps; however you also have a Libra moon in the seventh house which wants to partner just as bad as this guy does. This may be why you started dating him in the first place. Hate to be mean to people.

The situation is further complicated by Uranus in the seventh conjunct your Moon suggesting a healthy dose of commitment-phobia and understanding all of this if you go back up and read your mail to me, you can see this guy is more a prop in your movie rather than someone who is driving anything. Basically you want to detach (Uranus) from anyone who is nice and wants to partner (Libra), even though you are nice and want to partner.

Good luck.

Need advice? Ask here!
Subscribe to the Elsa Blog
Info on scheduling a personal consultation

Dear Love,

It is not unreasonable or selfish to want your own space but it probably is completely unrealistic to think you are going be able to have this while living with a woman, three children and a dog unless you can afford a house with a separate wing… which it sounds like you cannot.

I think you will probably be miserable if you move in with your girlfriend and also that you will make others miserable… so the fact you are looking at this in a harsh light is good. Because she has a responsibility to her kids and if she is counting on your to pay half the rent and you are ready to balk… well I think you should tell her right away that you are having your doubts.

And don’t think I don’t see your side! I have Libra you know. And it sounds like when she promised her kids they would each have their own bedroom… knowing your conditions, well as far as I am concerned, she sold you out right there.

So no. I would not recommend you move. You are too independent and kids are fixtures, you can take my word on that. Your girlfriend is also telling you one thing (you will be accommodated) but taking opposite action, so you know. Looks like you’d be jumping into a fire to me.

Good luck.

Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info.

Dear Pisces

What you describe is normal for you. I don’t know that you are ever going to ground for long – you are simply not built for it. So what will help most is redefine what “getting your personal life together” means.

To me, “personal life” means exactly that. It is personal to the individual. And it sounds to me as you are trying to cram your foot into a traditional shoe that really has nothing in common with the shape of your foot. Coming to terms with this seems the task at hand and your fear of loss and regret is also part of your nature.

To be in a state of “divine discontent” is uniquely Piscean and I don’t see how you are going to avoid these feelings. For example, marry this girl, and pine about what might have been. Don’t marry this girl and pine for what might have been. The fact is, there is no perfect solution or panacea. You can only flow and have faith that what is (ultimately) best for all involved will be exactly what happens… because invariably this turns out to be the case.

Good luck.
~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…