Dear Student,

They say that life it too short to spend it doing something you are not passionate for. But for Capricorn risings like you and me, I’d say that life is too long! And looking at your stellium in Scorpio, I have to think you’re going to prove very hard to kill – so I think your concern that you might be on the wrong path is valid… sort of.

See, your education will never be wasted because being psychologically sophisticated is an asset that is applicable to everything all the time. If you consider the symbol for Capricorn – a goat climbing a very large mountain – what you could be discovering is not that you are climbing the wrong mountain, but that the top is somewhat further off than you thought. And when you initially consider this it may upset you, but in reality it’s not that big a deal. This is just life and life unfolds.

And I’m not worried about you at all. Because obviously this has emerged and if you were intent on stuffing your feelings and committing to a career you have no passion for, you would not have written me.

So this is where you are and you are going to have to do something about it. Are you capable of that? Of course! I would bet you are more capable than 95% of the people out there and I bet you’d agree with me.

So just be still and ask the universe to show you the best path. I bet you anything it will oblige and from there you need only execute, which is a walk in the park for Capricorn.

And on a more visceral level, with all those planets in Scorpio, never ever choose the thing that has no energy for you. Because if you do, you will shrivel up.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Married,

I am not sure what you are afraid of. Are you afraid you will cheat? You don’t have to be afraid of that. You can cheat or you can not cheat, this is a decision you get to make.

As for your feelings for this man: if you go back to work with him, they will still be there. You will still be attracted to him and I am sure he will still pay you a lot of attention. But this does not predict the result of the situation because what happens is completely up to you.

I would hate to tell you to leave your job just because you are afraid. Assuming you like your job, it would be much more empowering for you to go back to work and discover that as a matter of fact, you can handle yourself. You can be attracted… you can even be in love with someone and you still get to choose what you do about it. Knowing something like this is this is very powerful.

And if you take a new job, this guy will be out of sight, but not necessarily out of mind. In fact his presence may grow stronger with time, as people tend to idolize others when they reflect back. And in many cases, if they were actually with the person they were pining for, they may be seeing reality by now – and reality is uglier than fantasy every time!

So it’s up to you. But if it were me, I would go back to my job (assuming I liked it). And with this first “love experience” somewhat assimilated, I would try to see this man in a more critical and detached way.

For example, you say he is young. Is he too young? Is he flitty? Would he make a good husband or does he best serve as a distraction? You see what I mean. You can poke holes in this, as easy as you can inflate it, most likely.

On the other hand, maybe you do really love him. And maybe you have a destiny together and so forth. I doubt this but if it is true, nothing you will do will stop the relationship. You’ll get a new job and run into him at the corner store, or the cleaners, or you’ll collide in a car accident.

You get the idea. I think you’re good to go back to work. You are strong and you are smart and you are not going to do anything you don’t want to do.

Much love, and good luck.

~~
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Dear Confusion,

You’re not that confused. What you are is authentically eccentric. You’ve got a lot of Aquarius and you want to reform and revolutionize. You want to be independent, change the world and live and be your ideals. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with this.

See you’re okay volunteering because if you’re unpaid… if you’re not paid by Wal-mart or any lesser symbol of corporate piggishness, then you are clean. But here’s the rub:

This is not utopia! This is life on earth and it is flawed. And if you are going to “create jobs” and I surely think you should, then you are going to have to “play well with others”. Others who shop at Wal-mart, or work there, or work for someone who supplies them! For that matter, you may have to sell to them yourself! And will cause you extreme discomfort? Of course! But at least you’ll be getting something done!

The fact is the world has problems. And all you can do is influence your sphere. Beyond that, you can make your sphere as large as possible. But often this means compromise of some kind. So these are your choices:

Extreme discomfort and get nothing done.
Extreme discomfort and get something done.

What do you think?

I think you’re a natural leader and you ought to get something done.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Mom,

First off, you should know that anyone in your situation would have a struggle. You have been joined with your baby for close to two years. How could you not be anxious? So relax about the feelings you’re having. Something would be dramatically wrong if you were not experiencing them.

Now regarding the fear, it may help if you can better define it. Considering you have found a caregiver you trust (no small feat for a Scorpio), just exactly what is it you’re afraid of? How about I take a guess?

Are you are afraid what people might think of you? Are you afraid people might think you are a bad mother? Well then, just say it right out. That’s what scares you! And then you can deal with it rationally and I can help.

First, you’re a single mother. You have to support your baby!! Going to work is making her a priority! But further, these are facts:

There are people who are cut out to be stay-at-home moms. They love it! They love every minute of it. They like to homeschool. They thrive in this role and guess what? You’re not one of them! You are you, and I assure you that your daughter has the right mother, not the wrong one. So your main job as a parent is to manifest yourself completely, to set an example for your daughter so she is empowered to do the same. Sound right?

And so what I think is happening here is this: Your Scorpio “feels” taking the job is the best path (and I agree). However, your Capricorn side – which is pronounced by the way – feels guilty for wanting to achieve in the world… something beyond parenting. And bottom line, you are going to have to accept yourself. Your nature, that is.

It’s really too bad women judge each other. The ones who work outside the home assume the ones who don’t are lazy. The ones who work inside the home think similar about the ones who go to work. You know. They are escaping their family duties.

The fact is some women don’t have a choice one way or the other. Lack of money can force either situation into being, but more importantly every woman is an individual! And some of us thrive in the workplace while others thrive at home. And the only thing that matters for our sons and for our daughters, is that we thrive, period. So here’s my advice:

Go to work. If people judge you, assume they are ignorant. Because they are.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Artist,

There is really no choice here. Can you let some angry jackass prevent you from having the career you have wanted since you were five years old? Of course not! That’s not an option. Think about it. How about you quit it all? And then what? ::shakes head:: And then nothing! So you see you are going to have to stay and fight, but I think the fight is going to be mainly with yourself.

Now it doesn’t matter whether this guy is mentally ill or not. He probably is and it may help you to think of him like that but here are some facts:

You are a strongly Cardinal person. That means you tend to be controlling and if you read your post up there, you will see what you are trying to do with this guy. You are trying to get him to follow the rules! With your 10th house Sun and Venus and Mars in Aries, you are trying to police him! And let me tell you something:

I have had very limited success in getting others to color inside the lines! In fact, I have had no success at all! Have you?

Look. Say you have a kid and you force them to comply? What happens? What happens is the first chance they get; they get the hell away from you! They escape! You simply cannot control other people. So you must control yourself. And with Saturn (control) currently transiting your first house (self), this message could not be any stronger. So here is the smart play:

The guy is crazy! Crazy people make their own rules!! They have no interest in doing otherwise. So get this into you head. He is a rule-breaking bastard and there is nothing you can do about it. In fact, it’s none of your business! Running his life is none of your business!

Understanding this, and accepting this as reality, start thinking about how you’re going to work around him towards achieving your life long goal and I think you’ll be happy with how things progress.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Eventual,

The first time I read this I thought you sounded incredibly arrogant. People are sheep? They’re sloth? If they do anything at all, they do it wrong? Yet you’re the one who quits? Hmm.

And then you follow this up by calling yourself a flaky loser and I had an impulse to really let you have it. I was going to talk to you about the fact you are having a Saturn transit and that a little humility would go a long way. I was going to remind you that it’s you who is running your life. I was going to also suggest you stop whining and then apologize for being harsh, before I explained that your chart has an emphasis on the 6th house.

Focus on the 6th house indicates you are here to (humbly) serve the common people. And I was going to say that it was here where I thought it got perverted.

I was going to explain the reason you have the ability to see the flaws is not so you can reject people and be holier than thou, but so you can work to make things better. And I was going to tell you that if you would align with this… if you would get on the job and stay on the job, you would very likely feel happier and more fulfilled than you could possibly imagine. But then I re-read your post.

And you sound positively tortured. And though I believe everything I just wrote up there, I think you may have a more complex challenge. I think there might be something underlying that would make it very hard for you to just “get your ass in gear”.

So I am going to have to recommend you see a professional counselor who might be able to give you some insight into all these sides of yourself that contradict each other. And insight into these things that trigger you and cause you to act out, ultimately leaving you with a result you don’t want and depressed self esteem.

Because I have read your post carefully several times now and I don’t get “lazy, flaky, loser”. I get “person who desperately wants to be good and do well”. But there is something dogging you, and you owe it to yourself and the people you will eventually serve to find out what. Good luck.

~~
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Dear Co-worker,

I don’t think this guy has a sinister bone in his body. I think he’s an eccentric flirt with no problem knowing what the frick he wants. He wants a girlfriend and he wants to play with you!!

And why not? The girlfriend fills one need and you fill another. You did not mention this in here, but he is 20 years younger than you. I don’t think he wants to be your man in a committed sense. I don’t think he prefers you to his girlfriend, necessarily. He just wants to play. Like a puppy! He wants you to like him, to adore him, to appreciate his oddity, his back flips, his big ol’ grin. You on the other hand have a problem with this… sort of.

You’re an Aquarius, so you have innate affinity with all weirdos, and no problem with things like age difference. However you have a Saturn contact to your Venus (relationships) and this is what is messing you up! You don’t know how to do “light fare” with a partner. You don’t know how to play. You want to define it. You want to confine it. You want to commit, and better yet you want the other to commit so you feel safe. See how this plays?

So here’s my advice:

Go ahead and define the relationship, but do it accurately. There is a younger man you work with who gives you a zing. He is not interested in giving you anymore than that. You either want the relationship in spite of these limits, or you don’t. And that, Co-Worker, is up to you.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Artist,

Actually, I do see something keeping your from the sun and the fun. It’s your nature. Fact is, you’re not a yippy-skippy kind of guy. You’re a dreamer (Pisces) with depth (Pluto). And I don’t have an answer to that, other than I think you are fine the way you are. And when you get to this age (thirties), it’d be nice if you could get to a place where you agree with me. So this is the tack I’m going to take with your post.

You’re obviously a sensitive, deep thinking and feeling sort. It’s sweet. It’s special. And you are a hard-worker who perseveres. And it makes me think of any number of movies I have seen… profiles of painters. Edvard Munch, Van Gogh, etc. They are all so tortured. Their lives are not very good!! They are constantly yearning. They are disappointed. Their pain is pretty much continuous, yet they remain on this very difficult path. Why? Because it’s who they are!

And they grace the rest of us. As do you. Your post today graces my blog. People will read your words. Some of them will understand them. And they will feel for you, for themselves, and for humanity. And this will not get you your dream job, but…

Even if you landed your dream gig tomorrow, you will not feel “sun and fun”. Because you will still be you. You will still be searching, reaching, trying, yearning. People will still like you. You will still like them… not so much. You will still feel as if you are in a “holding pattern” because this is who you are and how you are – and is that so bad?

Is it bad to be deep? I don’t think so. Would you like to be a veneer? Here’s a story.

I was watching CNN once, during some kind of crisis. Oh! It was when the DC snipers were loose. Anyway, one of the on-camera guys was interviewing someone… some cop I guess and this cop was a big guy. He was tall. The newsman on the other hand was short. Very short! So he was standing there, with his arm all the way extended to reach the taller man’s mouth, and he looked distressed. He looked just stressed out of his mind.

Cut to commercial and back to the interview. All the sudden the newsman is now not just as tall as the cop, he’s taller! ::laughs:: He must have made them get him a bucket to stand on, I guess. ::smiles:: And he had this smug look on his face, like “I’m tall now, you motherfuckers”.

So think about that. He’s got a big career, but look at the insecurity!! What’s a bastard like that going to do when his hairline recedes, hmm??

So with that in mind, re-read your post. I think you will see a sketch of confident, secure and solid man who is painfully aware of his limitations and the limitations of others, i.e. the people who do not keep their promises. One man is a man. The other man is an embarrassment. And based on this, maybe you can see what I mean. You’re good the way you are.

Try to release your pain. Channel it into your art. Because it will always, always, always be part of you. And if you can understand and embrace this… if you can learn to celebrate it rather than trying to get to a feeling state that will never exist for you (and may not exist at all), I think you’ll see things ease. You’re an artist, maaan. I’m sorry.

Good luck.
~~
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~~
pictured – The Scream, 1893, Edvard Munch

Dear Unsure,

Yeah. Go ahead and tell him how you feel but I wouldn’t hold my breath around anything working out with this guy. You say he’s not serious with the other woman and I believe you. Stack that with the fact he just left a long term relationship (and had flirted with you throughout), and I think it’s pretty safe to say he doesn’t want a serious relationship, period.

So what about you? Well via your chart, I would say you’re divided. You’re a Gemini flirt yourself, and with your Sun in aspect to Neptune, you’re prone to fantasy so you can see how all this is working for you. It’s interesting! It’s swirly!

However, Venus in Cancer wants security. Your Venus in Cancer wants to be Daddy’s best girl – so you can see how the plot thickens. He’s Daddy. He’s the boss, right?

So this is your makeup. You have somewhat conflicting desires and is he interested in addressing both sides of you? I don’t think so. I think he’s flirting and that’s all.

Sorry and good luck.

~~
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Dear Ready,

There is not something in your chart that “makes” this happen. Our charts do not run our lives, we do! That said, the potential for this to happen shows up very clearly in your chart. And if you can get a comprehensive understanding of what is going on with this, you should be able to get a new result.

So here are the nuts and bolts of your problem: you have a packed 12th house, which equates to Pisces (giving and self sacrifice). And when you go to these jobs and do a super duper job, this is what you are doing. You are giving.

But please be aware that you are making the choice to be a super-producer. And at first people are astonished and grateful. But it doesn’t take long for them to take you for granted, does it? And next thing you know, you’re a stereo-typical Pisces doormat!

So how to change this? Well first, just forget about relying on anyone outside yourself to solve this. You are not going to find a job where everyone appreciates your sacrifice and expresses it to you in the way you want!

So you know how they say, “Don’t lend money you can’t afford to lose?” Well you should apply the same principal to your giving… to your super-producing. If you can’t give without expecting something in return, then don’t give! Get it? Boundaries!

Take responsibility for the choices you make. And if you are going to go to work (or anywhere else) and give more than your share, then you’ve no right to call foul when people take you up on that. And I’ve got one little story for you, that just might kick you into taking the cure.

I once knew a gal… she was a friend actually. She was a lesbian with a mouth on her. And one day she told me, “I love meeting co-dependents. I have them do everything for me. They deserve it! Anyone who is going to lay down like that deserves to be taken advantage of.”

So think about that the next time your people-pleasing Libra Sun in the 12th house decides to stay late at work, so someone else can go play…

Good luck.

~~
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