Getting An Outside Opinion

zodiac pretty“In your mind, you are psycho and insecure. In my mind, you’re a knowledgeable person who is fantasizing and denying. Big difference!

In your model, you’re a victim of circumstance. In my model, you have choices – lots of them!”

I wrote that for a client. I am a card player from way back. I’ve seen too many games turn on a dime, to think that people and things can’t change, radically.

When is the last time you asked for an outside perspective?

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Getting An Outside Opinion — 13 Comments

  1. I can’t remember exactly but I know it’s been within the past month. I ask for outside perspectives quite frequently. My brain… Jesus. My brain!! *laughs* It’s abby-normal and I know this, so I’m constantly checking in with people to make sure I’m not completely off the reservation. *grins*

    I don’t know if this is Jupiter rising in Cancer (serious expansion) or my Libra stellium (other-oriented) but I’ve operated this way since the day I realized other people aren’t me. “Maybe… maybe!… someone else has a better handle on this. I should check.” ;)

  2. The last time I asked for an outside perspective was the last two times I talked to you. It’s hard to ask people who know you because they either don’t want to hurt your feelings because they like/love you or their perspective is clouded because they don’t know but a portion of you because that’s all you’ve let them see.

    Calling you was different because you didn’t personally know me and even with the information I presented, which was of course one-sided because I needed to talk, you told it like it was.

    This may be the first time someone has stood me up in a mirror and said look ….. uh, you might want to look at this and what your roll in it is. And, of course this was a turning point for me in my most important relationships. I was very inside myself (shy) as a child and a teen. As a single mother I had to make it in the world so as an adult I have a very strong personality and I know people either love me or hate me and there is no in between. (Scorpio) The point is, it’s hard for people who know me to tell me anything because I am going to react…..strongly….and maybe passionately ….or I might just tell someone I know to kiss my ass. And of course be offended (I am a work in progress)

    I needed to be told. No one would tell me. My husband could see exactly what was going on but didn’t want to shake the rug out …. and I would have reacted if he had. So for me, going to someone that was not emotionally tied to me was good because I got it from the hip. At one point during the hour I thought to myself…..wait…. this is harsh, Jesus, who is this lady? hahahaha But when it was over and I listened again by myself it was like a skillet to the head.

    I am not a stupid woman, but my behavior was colored with hurt feelings and I was spinning on a hamster wheel doing the same thing over and over and of course getting the same result. No one was brave enough to say, STOP IT. Well, except Elsa :)

    If my husband had said the same thing I would have questioned why and what he had to gain if I had.

    All I know is that I stopped doing what was making me miserable immediately. Now you would think that one would ease into a thing like this but you know Scorpio is all or nothing so it was cold turkey. That was it. No more of that. And as a result my life changed right then and it has been changing since.

    I had to call back for a booster shot…. your going to need to call the coach! So, that is what I did. And because I saw such great change from altering my own behavior I will keep making those calls. Sometimes we just don’t see what we are doing to ourselves or others. Talking to girlfriends or family is not going to get you the same result because they are not going to tell you what you NEED to hear most of the time. They will agree with your poor me story so they can be in good graces with you.

    (just a note: I was having some serious problems with the relationship between me and my grown children and their wives and felt very used, unloved, and walked on….victim-ish)

    Today things still get harry and I am going to have to call to be set straight over and over again and while I am not going to like being told to knock my shit off (lol) It will come from a place of truth and not from a place where someone feels like they have to tip-toe around my feelings.

    Saturn in Scorpio beating my 4th H to shreds :( but, I am surviving it and its hard to believe that my relationship with these people, that mean more to me than my own well being, is better than its ever been. There is no way to describe what all went on and I don’t want to demean my own children when I set them up to behave exactly as they did. All I can say is I asked for an outside perspective and the answer I got to my question was not what I expected. (hurt my feelings a bit but for Christ sake I am a Scorpio and everything hurts my feelings as I have so many of them HAHA)

    I called as the victim, I got off the phone as a person with a choice. I took the 2nd option! Because I do not play the roll of victim very well :)

  3. ‘I’ve seen too many games turn on a dime, to think that people and things can’t change, radically.’ Would you explain how this jibes with your often stated opinion that people do not change fundamentally.

    • Sure. People don’t change their essentially nature. Like for example, I have Mars Mercury in my chart.

      However, I can turn that thing in any direction I want.

      Energy is neutral until directed! But yes, I do think the cards you hold are the cards you hold.

      • And what meant by that is just like what happens in card game…or any game. Jeopardy! Everything is going a certain way and then WHAM! There is some kind of breakout.

        I have also written about this. About how something lies dormant for years and years and then breaks out like a geyser.
        The potential was always there.

  4. I need an outsiders opinion, someone to kick me in the ass and say “Hey, wake up!” Because that’s the only thing that’s going to help me. Elsa, I need you in my life :(

  5. Uhhh, in my world I really don’t have to ask for perspective. I’m always gettin it without asking for it. But this week I am meeting with some soruces for some input on employment opportunities. The trick with that for me, is how comprehensive these people are. And finding the ones that have some depth and will take the time. Alot of experience has been dismissed in favor of procedures (not that procedures aren’t operationally important) and doing what the computer says. I suppose I am really looking for human input which is becoming a rare commodity. Hustle bustle must go faster.

  6. My north node is in Sag, I no longer ask for people’s opinions. However today I thought, hmmmmmm maybe I’ll take advantage of this Gemini moon, and thought what can it hurt. I don’t have to take it, it’s ok to just listen sometimes.

  7. I have been seeking outside opinion for the last two years with good results. It is a blessing to have the right person tell me exactly what I needed to hear to grow as a person. I need to feel in charge of my life and the victim mindset runs counter to that. Learning new ways to think has been life changing and empowering.

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