With Venus square Neptune in my chart, I have lost a lot of money in my life. I give a lot of money away, people steal it from me, they trick me out of it, or I let them trick me out of it, or it just leaks out or disappears, one way or the other.
This doesn’t bother me. I don’t know why it doesn’t bother me, exactly, but it doesn’t.
Now having a family complicates things. I have a responsibility to my family so I can’t just run around giving away everything I make, though I am pulled to do that.
I was talking to my husband about this the other night, He also gives a lot of money away, but he’s worried about me. He doesn’t think he’ll live long enough to be a burden to anyone. He figures he will die working, basically.
If he does come to a point where he is a burden to society or to anyone for that matter, he says he’ll go out into the woods and live under a poncho until the animals eat him. He’s serious, I’m sure, but what am I going to do? He thinks I should consider this.
His point was well taken, but it did not provide me with clarity. Both my mother and my grandfather died with virtually nothing. See - Inheritance.
My grandfather (Henry – in his own words) had strong Buddhist leanings. My mother was Catholic. Both of them lived and left this world without attachment to money or material things. I don’t think I can get this way of being out of my blood.
I have a packed 8th house. I have Jupiter involved, even. I’m supposed to inherit, but what I have inherited is their spirituality.
My grandfather agonized over whether or not he should spend money on a $10 transistor radio, so he could hear music when he worked all day in the sun. He felt he should give the $10 to the poor. When you’re exposed to someone like this, it’s impossible to not be influenced by them or at least it’s impossible for me. I can understand my grandfather.
I found this out for sure, a dozen years ago when someone stole all my music. I was shocked, but I recovered quickly. I recovered two hours later when I found myself singing in my car and realized that you can’t actually steal a person’s music.
I have never replaced what was lost. I give the money away and I feel better with no music, if you can believe that. I’m traveling light.
I wonder how this will turn out. I don’t think anyone will be surprised if I die with nothing, but I wonder how I’ll manage this. I tend to think I needn’t worry about it, as it will be managed for me.
I feel a lot better giving things away then I feel keeping them. I don’t know that this is something I can change. I understand it’s not right to give away so much that you become a burden to others. I don’t think I want to go die under a poncho in the woods. However I can think of worse things so I’m not firm on that either.
These things are so personal. Being peculiar, it’s hard to discuss this with people. I doubt people believe me for one thing. I also don’t think I’m ever going to figure this out. It too freakin’ mysterious. But sometimes it comes to the front. Like now, with Saturn in Scorpio transiting my square. So I have to wrestle with this.
Here are my questions for you:
Do you have weird ideas about money? Inheritance? Death or dependency? If so, where did you get them?
Also, do they benefit you in some way? How?