Who Decides If A Couple Marries?

love-birdsWith Venus in Libra, squaring Pluto, here’s a question for you:

Who decides if a couple marries?

The person who proposes?

The person who accepts or declines?

An outside person, like a parent, or even a sibling or a friend?

Does God decide?

What do you think are the underpinnings when it comes to marriage?

 

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Who Decides If A Couple Marries? — 30 Comments

  1. Personally I think it depends on the age of the soul,if young,you might be given free will to choose how and whom with you want to attain your purpose,and if the soul has been around for a while,i believe it’s you/me/the universe that decides based on your past life’s file…you meet him and it’s like: oh,hi…wait, I know you from somewhere,was it you I’ve selfishly abandoned 500 years ago?let me make up for it…

  2. I think it’s a joint effort between the two people. What GTO says is true, but if no one proposes, everybody just sits there.

    Outside forces (parents, god, whatever) also have an influence, but I think ultimately it’s between the two getting married. Even in an arranged marriage, if one of the two skips town, it’s not happening.

  3. I’m married. I’ll say just the two of us.

    We both have natal Venus/Pluto aspects, and we have Venus/Uranus exactly conjunct in synastry. Once we made the decision, that was it. Everyone else had to go along with it.

  4. In a past relationship, which was heading towards marriage but broke up, his father controlled everything…including the breakup.

    In that case, Sun/Saturn dominated the synastry. The father? Scorpio. I wouldn’t have been up for an enormous power struggle. (Taurus, Leo and Scorpio Suns in a fixed t square.) All the signs were there…so looking back 20 years, it was best the thing dissolved, though I was heartbroken.

  5. The person answering the question/ proposal. I mean, you can ask all you want & like, but if the answer is “No!”, then that’s that!

  6. I think its a collective decision.

    The people in the relationship. Who are the people? The 2 people in the relationship, family, friends and the circumstance you two are in/where you are in your life.

    There isn’t a single factor but many, ’cause most are. Especially big ones.

    They have done studies that, the bigger the decision the more people are involved. This is a huge decision. A forever one. :)

  7. My dad wanted me to meet him. It was practically an arranged marriage at the age of 55. My to-be husband walked in the door, a ray of golden sunlight was on him like a stage light. He sat on the sofa next to me and I knew he was my husband and I wondered where he had been. 6 mo’s later I showed my dad the engagement ring and he died the next day. The marriage has been hard, very hard, I’m not the same person anymore but that 55 year old little girl had to go, per the universe.

  8. it was up to me, only me as to marry. my mom was very controlling and paid my sister 500 to marry the man she set her up with. she did. me, I moved far away from home, on my own . I didnt ask or get any input from family or friends..and after a 4 yr engagement (living together ) married my husband. we both have venus in taurus so we wanted to make very sure it was what we wanted to do. my mom did come on board by arranging the date we married astrologically and numerically. I’m thinking she was successful in the date because 35 yrs later still married.

  9. really interesting question to ask and think about! i think it depends on the circumstance… but believe its ultimately up to fate.

  10. Libra can’t decide. Both of them, one of them, or God/fate. All of the above…

    Aries says, “I made it happen”. Hehe

  11. I don’t know. My fiance was so enthusiastic about getting married I decided to get off the fence and go with it, wholeheartedly; I never really wanted to before. But lately it feels like he is acting like I am the one pushing for a wedding. It’s pushing me back into ambivalence, which I hate.
    I have asked him if we can elope. I might push the idea harder.

    I just used the word push three times…lol

    I feel like I’m going to lay an egg.

  12. I think your social circumstances decide more than anything. Many people have what they want from a marriage without the “marriage” per se.

  13. I guess it is up to fate..and beneath that, the souls maturity. Im guessing my soul is very immature, for I found the one I could love eternally, but sadly in this life I did not act quickly enough to show my affections. I thought I had to take it slow, not knowing how little time we had, (how could I?) when every fiber of my being wanted to be with him at all times, in all ways, and be married of course. I never thought there could be a person I was not unsure of my love for, a person that made me want to have children, made me want to climb the mountain of success for the two of us, to do things right for. Someone whose departure i ultimately felt, somehow, psychically i suppose. Only we had two short months of love, together, we spoke about everything. Who decided that we would not marry? Ultimately it was him and I, but mostly him by stating we were not yet old enough. Us thinking we would age together, as if life was guarranteed. I am very sad that god placed his hand between us. Perhaps I should see it another way.

  14. I can relate to what ewelina writes. My friend believes we incarnate multiple times and that we travel in soul groups for the purpose of interacting in various roles. She says we all have soul guides which many would refer to as guardian angels and that there is a great deal going on behind the scenes to shepherd us through this existence. So yes, there is a certain amount of destiny involved. There is a lot more going on than just the physical universe.

  15. The initiative had to be my Husband. He is a Quadruple Aries, and just has to take the initiative in things. I did decide to keep myself available, though, until that decision. And I swear I was about to have a very serious conversation about how long I was willing to wait that night – I had been thinking about it literally the same day.

  16. Qui sera, sera; what ever will be, will be. i believe we have very little control if something is meant to be. Even if you think you made the decision, it was already made for you by fate and destiny.

  17. Lamaison, I hope that is true because if it is that means there would be no reason to ever worry about whether you’re with the right person. I think with Pluto, this way of thought might be necessary to avoid a lot of pain. If we can’t control things, we should just let go and let God/fate.

  18. fascinating JAWS and vah–could we hear more?

    I believe that fate and destiny and karma have a lot to do with it. I’m in an interesting situation right now myself. Recently, I find myself arguing with that imaginary “friend,” vociferously stating, “I don’t WANT to get married!!” and “I don’t even believe in marriage!” The weird thing is I’m not even really dating anyone right now, but it reminds me of other great debates I’ve had with myself/my imaginary conversation partner that were premonitionary (?) and laying a certain foundation.

  19. Don’t understand Venus nor Pluto nor Uranus nor Moon crying among them nor Sun or Mars rage-fighting/territorializing their “love” nor Saturn’s tremendous dampening force simply being purely incapable of dampening Venus/Pluto, etc. If I had to put my drunken money on one, it would be Pluto, be damned (for better or for worse, either way)! Besides, Lilith is the new Venus/Pluto Black, come on now. Forget about if your Lilith is in astro pattern to either one, that’s a whole nother night.

  20. I have found lillith in pisces has a way of showing up in my non existent love life. Its the opposite of serendipity. One moment I am with a person I really love the next they leave bc I didn’t show enough interest and I thought it was all gravy or I thought that the person didn’t like me. Its dubious that I am evaded in matters of the heart. Its mostly OURSELVES! why because we could perceive love to be anything or anyone and fall for it, but our expectations are high or low or in between and whatever we find whether it fits those things we take it or leave it. But if there was an undesirable person in the most way like a tree man then that person would have an outside force beyond his ability to love and be a castaway. So in conclusion its not this or that’s its everything! Everything affects one’s ability to love :)

  21. i think marriage is a contract- a bond- put in place to safeguard the weaker partner ( usually the woman and any offspring). the collective has set this up in all societies across the board that we know of to date. i believe it is part of a cycle that eventually will come to an end. so many rules to try to keep the two responsible. it is rare that you have two people who have their shit together and approach the equation with balance, fairness, love and willingness to sacrifice and cohertenly face life’s obsticals together…. i think it is more important to find that person- a paper does not mean anything- it just helps and protects you economically. just my opinion.

  22. i am sorry- i did not answer to question. i think each situation is different on who decides- dependa on the culture, upbringing- i would like ti say the two people involves- but that is just not always true. i belive it is a Neptune- Saturn issue. beautiful glossy dreamy rules put into place by the collective

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