Are You An (Emotional) Leader…Or A Reacter?

My friend, Ben is a Scorpio with his Moon in Aries.  His Sun is in the 10th house and he’s always been a leader-in-charge.

We were talking about emotional sensitivity.  He said that people sense how he feels (or how they think he feels) about them. This determines how they interact with him.

I was fascinated by this. I noted that he has the control in the situation. The other person is waiting to see what stance he takes before they make one of their own.

I would not like to be the #2 in this scenario, but I think I may be, at least some of the time.

Are you an emotional leader…or reactor?  Is your Moon in a yin or yang sign?


Comments

Are You An (Emotional) Leader…Or A Reacter? — 27 Comments

  1. Okay, I had some coffee..I think I may understand it. (Sadge Moon) 9 times out of 10 if I don’t make the initial effort to make people feel comfortable around me…they don’t. They are not sensing MY feelings about them, I think it’s their own projections of who THEY think I am. But at 41, I’m tired of always feeling like it’s my “job” to make other people feel comfy around me. I’m tired of being the emotional leader. For God’s sake, grow a pair!

  2. Scorpio Sun with Sagittarius Moon here. Sounds like your Ben is pretty good at putting people in whatever box he wants.

  3. I react so fast I lead ;)

    People do not seem to sense where I’m at. I’m the one left to sense and comfort them.

  4. Probably both – I think I am unconscious about the fact that I may be leading and thus get the wrong reaction
    I prefer to be in the reacting position as it takes the responsibility off me but very few people can lead with me – stellium in 8th house aries

  5. Aries Moon here. People tend to react to me. I tend to react to others when it comes to jealousy. If you’re my lover and you want to know where I’ve been and who I’ve been hanging with, you’d best be prepared to offer up the same info.

    I have Mercury-Pluto, which is death to liars. At times, truth has an odd way of presenting itself, but it inevitably shows up sooner or later.

  6. Ben’s point was if a person feels you do not like them, it will impact how they interact with you…and that people are sensitive.

    Years ago I used to write about how I hit it off with older black men. There is a deep root to this, it’s in my book.

    In whatever case, when I see a black man who is 25-30 years older than I am, I have a deeply rooted response that has me expect we’re going to get along. I am pretty sure this shows on my face and the man, seeing my happiness at seeing him, has a positive response.

    It’s something interesting to think about. Saturn in Scorpio.

  7. Moon is in Aquarius, don’t know if that’s yin or yang. Cancer sun top of 9th, it’s funny, when pushed to a wall, I calm down and come up with a sweet way to compromise. But if some dick sticks his hands in the candy bin at Whole Foods, I come unglued and rip his throat open.

  8. My moon in Leo conjunct Mars. It’s very hard for me to hide my emotions, good or bad. I’ve had experiences where my smile lights a room up and it feels great, but also draining so I try not to be in that situation too often.

  9. I remember you previously saying that about older black men, Elsa. I also have an affinity for them…when I was 18, I was great friends with a 40 something year old Gemini by the name of Angelo. We waited tables together and he taught me everything I needed to know about customer service.

    Yesterday I was at the cemetary/mausoleum. A male friend and I saw a gorgeous old grey Mustang…very eclectic. Lots of geegaws in the back window, etc. Later we saw this older black man driving it away. My friend gave a friendly wave and said “Beautiful car!” The man had a brilliant, kindly smile. He winked and said, “Beautiful woman,” meaning me. Haha.

    I said to my friend, now there’s a guy I’d like to have drink with a on a porch somewhere and hear his stories. :D

    Looking forward to reading you book when my life settles down. <3

  10. I’m not particularly aware of this happening, but I do typically have very strong immediate emotional reactions to people, often negative. (It might be more accurate to say “usually negative,” but I’m not sure I’m ready to admit that this morning.) For someone who can be pretty insecure, I am swift to form a positive or negative feeling about other people. It just happens.

    I don’t know, I’m not convinced people do always pick up on how you feel about them, or that there is an obvious way they will react to that. For example, they could become more hostile or they could just try harder to win you over, etc. Some people insist that you just have to love them. Actually, those can be the worse. I once worked with someone who said: “You’ll get to love me.” Guess what? Never happened.

    (Me: Scorpio sun/Mercury/Neptune, Sagittarius moon/Venus/Mars.)

  11. I think I am more cagey around women I meet. I mean it’s great when I meet up with someone and we can just both be out there. But I have learned to respect their space and feel the need to take a temperature read overall. But am tickled to death when they repay me in kind. Men in general seem more receptive in social situations probably out of respect or curiosity, testing the waters to see if it’s okay to come out and play.

    Feelin each other out. It goes on all the time. And I’d have to say I’m mutable on that even though I got the cancer moon thing going on. If someone is balls to the wall tensed out, I am not going to bombard them with exuberance. If someone is shutdown and needs their space, I am not going to pry myself into their situation. And likewise if I find someone coming on too strong and frazzlin my nerves, I give them a go away signal. It’s a balancing act. Respect and boundaries.

  12. i think im both, but i cant help but react in some way to the feelings of others that i can feel… its unavoidable. im a cancer sun but libra moon, and i try to be balanced at all times. my sag rising often comes out during those times and if im not careful, i can react with aggression if i feel like people are treating me unfairly. ultimately, i think its a tool to be able to sense the feelings of others towards myself, i just have to work on not letting it “get to me”. if other people have some inherant problem with me, its their problem, not mine. ain’t nobody got time for that.

  13. Moon in virgo in the first house. I love people. serve people. I judge people. I include the people I’m interacting with in “us” and they feel very happy. But when I set my sites on a “them” they know it. Friends are often flabbergasted when they see me really not like someone because my attitude is so damning.

  14. Definitely an emotional leader. Sag moon (whole lot of us here huh?) and people react very strongly to me. I’m pretty sure they think I’m full of myself. Maybe that is the Cappy ascendant though.

  15. @Sara Oh wow, I think you and I have very similar charts. I have a Sagi Moon and Capricorn ASC. I feel the same way. Some people think I am full of myself and I really don’t see how. I am emotional and yes I react :-) Jupiter Mars conj on the same degree.

  16. Moon in pisces in the first house so I am confused, deceived like 24/7.. Prone to fantasies, people don’t see the true side of me.. My ASC is Aquarius so its not pisces its just like the half thingy in one house.. Anyway, I always react to conversations. If I take control its only for music or arts.. Cause I don’t really give a shit about anything else. People bore me and so does mundane shit.. So I act like I care about listening. I used to get heated over politics and religion now I toned it down but I still like only the arts/creative expression!!

  17. I have six planets in Scorpio (including the lovely moon), and for some reason I seem to intimidate people. I don’t even have to try – most have the impression I am going to kick their ass or go off on them. In the meantime I am trying to be super nice-ish to get them to relax a bit. People seem to have a strong reaction to me, whether in person or staring at me from the distance. I don’t tend to notice it until I have someone with me to point it out (or I’m watching for it) People either like me, or take an attitude. I tend to watch their reactions, and then play off how they act toward me.

  18. @Peace Be With You–Yay–astro sisters!

    For the longest I wanted to deny that a Capricorn ascendant doesn’t translate to snobby but alas I’ve come to realize it’s true. Maybe because Saturn is an authority planet? Stern, serious, father energy? It makes me laugh because I’m such a spaz in reality.

    My husband is Cappy ASC too and I call him ‘the warden’. We found an old set of jail keys from the 19th century in an antique store and it hangs on his closet doorknob. If that doesn’t capture the Cappy energy I don’t know what does!

    xoxo

  19. @Sara — yes astro sisters :-)
    my husband is a Leo ASC so it’s crazy when he roars but my Taurus sun doesn’t put up with it so it’s a good in a way but not when we both roar :-(

    Capri ASC I don’t know why we seem snobby. I don’t get it. yes I can be proud and people say I am arrogant but when they get to know me they think I am so quiet and shy more like an introvert, which I hate! So I work very hard to be bold and an extrovert but I guess it does not go too far. I am fine with it.

  20. I would say I’m an emotional eater when I react! Another Cap ascendent here. I’m invisible and that’s the way I like it.

  21. Libra Moon in the 3rd – I “sense” how others feel about me, and I can’t help acting accordingly. Not in the sense that I do what they want or act how they expect me to, OF COURSE, but I do “attune” to their vibe. Moon is my Chart ruler, so I’m an emotional sponge. : (

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