I am working with a young client who needs a lot of help (his words). He’s working overtime to “sane up”. He’s made a heroic effort and he’s had good results.
He wrote me, threatening to backslide.
“If you have a hissy fit over this, you’ll have to pay the consequences,” I replied.
It’s hard not to fall back into patterns which may be well-established or even hard-wired.
Think about someone who finds out they’re dyslexic. I have something like that and so what? I either have to fight my way around it or sit down in a heap and do nothing. Or maybe I can become an angry old bird!
It’s much better to find out what the problem is and deal with. Everyone has a monkey on your back, don’t you think?
Is there something you have to fight, virtually every day of your life? What is it?
29 Responses to “Monkey On Your Back”
I have family fears to overcome, which led my family folks with potential remain stagnant at some stage of life. That, coupled with my mild ADD discovered as an adult. Interesting few years now of decoding all my inheritance and discovering who I am! That monkey is calming down now.
probably complacency. i chock it (partly) up to a Taurus Moon in 4th house. comes in handy sometimes, but must be tempered with a certain level of drive, motivation, and direction. Melding comfort with what REALLY brings happiness and fulfillment, seems to be a theme for me.
Excellent question, Elsa!
Hot temper (Moon conjunct Mars), depression (Moon sq Saturn), and learning to overcome crazy family of origin issues (Uranus in the 4th)
And everything “Just a Girl” said 
Thank goodness for my Jupiter Moon/Venus sextile –that is a saving grace that keeps me from slitting my wrists some days. My hubs’ sun sits on my “Angel AND Valentine” asteroid and truly, he is both of those. He has the ability to keep me grounded when I’m off on some tangent. Poor guy. I don’t how he puts up with me! 
New to astrology…trying to understand planet placements etc. Re: K@ comment.. which are the angel and valentine asteroids?
@LeoVirgorising: Those are considered super minor aspects. I would do some research on asteroids “Valentine” and “Angel” We have far heavier synastry aspects but when I saw those, I just swooned bc it made so much sense given our situation! They’re a frivolous study but interesting, nonetheless.
Yep…I have a TON of fear and struggle to overcome the see-saw of wanting to act/afraid to act. I am slowing learning to discern what is right action at the right time vs doing nothing at all because I’m too afraid. I am also learning that if I confront my fear I usually find out things weren’t so bad on the other side after all.
Mother issues–Chiron/IC trine Moon in Capricorn. My mother’s Saturn is conjunct my Chiron, exactly.
PTSD… n I live with a mother who reminds me daily of all the triggering stuff that caused it.
What everyone has said here…and the fact I have no worldly ambition. I used to when I was younger but now I seem to just be drifting and fine with that though it leaves me pretty vulnerable.
I have very destructive impulses. I mostly got past them because I got bored with the results.
My moods. I’m a moody sonofabisnitch. It’s not really fighting, just really learning to navigate in them.
Fear, anxiety, depression, and being overly pessimistic.
What shaman said: moods! I’m moody, moody, moody and I have a hair trigger. It takes a lot of work to keep myself on an even keel.
One thing I’m glad I broke myself of was throwing things when I got really angry. Got sick of a) cleaning it up and b) replacing broken stuff, so now I just take a deep, put my hands on my face, and imagine it really vividly so I don’t have to physically do it. Seems to work. 
Messiness, have no idea what the astro is but it’s insane, ESP since I’m a control freak with loads of Virgo 3/4 planets and MC
Dependency and codependency.
Procrastination. Of course, I never procrastinate when it’s something I find interesting (Actually I can put 16 hrs a day of good and honest work in it and never let go until it’s finished)
But procrastination in doing daily chores, going to see the doctor, doing anything that includes red tape or waiting in any kind of line… until everything piles up and then of course, I get nervous and mess things up.
There used to be more issues in the past, but not any more. Getting older isn’t that bad after all.
Nice site, by the way. It’s been such a long time since I studied astrology. Never did it professionally, but it helped me a great deal to find out more about myself.
I have to fight the worst thing: my lack of independence and financial instability. My life path number is 1 so it says we’re dependent for a long time until something breaks us. But in every life path number 1 there is always an obstacle there waiting for us! I have soo many damn fucking obstacles I am sick of it. I barely scraped enough money to help on an investment and I wouldn’t be surprised if something were to not give with this. Fucking Saturn or Satan. I was told by a financial aid rep I had four/five obstacles to getting aid from the college… Then she didn’t call to follow up like she said she would. My youth hasn’t normal because I have a mental illness 
But I try to normalize it and I can fake it but unintentionally but I always carry that stigma.. Everyone knows I have it. I am still at home. This is the other monkey actually its more like elephant on my back. When I left the business consultant I felt free but I am truly in “bondage” and I Fucking hate it with a passion. Sorry for the curse words there. I just have to remind myself to be patient because at least I was accepted at a music school but then I have to get scholarship money and it goes on!
I’ve struggled with ADHD my whole life. It wasn’t until the early 90′s when my son was diagnosed ADHD that I realized Wow…so that’s why I have to work so much harder than my peers to reach my goals.
I’m not complaining at all. I have learned so much from going down this road. It’s made me a stronger person and a more compassionate person because I understand what it’s like to be judged by people who don’t have a clue.
Great topic, Elsa! There was a monkey house at the zoo near my childhood home. The monkeys escaped once, and you know, a person can carry a lot of them around at once because they stack up so nice.
Saturn square moon; I still have to remind myself to take care and watch my moods. I was depressed pretty much my entire childhood and much of my adult life.
On the other hand, when I would finally bust out of it and ramp up in some area, usually a cause, things could get too big too fast (I could grow a gorilla). Jupiter/Mars/Mercury conjunct in Sag.
Venus in Scorp. square Uranus-things in the romantic area could get a little out of control, and then there were those pluto transits. Obsession and pain.
Mostly, it seems, there was a lot of confusion and pain around my family, and I was incredibly angry, and grieved and worked on myself for many, many years. Right now stellium is transiting my 4th house, and I’ve been revisiting some of that. Much better off now on my worst day, and my children have benefitted from my work. I still don’t like that I had to amputate family, but there it is.
I am way too trusting. I need to learn to hold my cards closer to my chest.
I guess I should probably explain that better. I always see the good in people. And yes, everyone has good, but when they show you who they are operating as in the world…um, probably should go with that. It’s difficult for me because I have this pollyanna belief that people’s higher nature is going to prevail…only because I can see so clearly this goodness in them. Stupid, I know. I get burned a lot.
Low self-esteem. It was ingrained in my head I was no good and could never possibly measure up because I was so defective. I have been working extremely hard to get that monkey off of my back. I’m not better than anyone, but I am not beneath anyone either.
My erratic impulse control makes paying off my debt a PITA. 1H Uranus, 2H Venus/Neptune, 12H Libra.
Or was that MOMB? Monkey On My Back.
Heads Up from Elsa P!
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I have to fight bullshit family attitudes I was raised with. I know as an adult on an intellectual level that these things are wrong, but they’re things I was raised with and are ingrained into my psyche. I am aware of them and make the effort to not listen, but still, it is an effort and sometimes very tiring. Trying to be the opposite of what was expected of you from day one is easier for some than others. It’s not impossible, though. I just have to put the effort in.