Think Twice Before You Lose Faith In A Person

People can get pretty desperate and ugly in the middle of a transformation. I know it’s happened to me.

Recently, I’ve been working with a client on the brink.  There have been some very dark moments but I hung in and he hung in and now things have really looked up.

Many of you know I volunteer to visit people in the hospital now. This client reminds me of this woman I met in the hospital some weeks ago. She was terribly ill.  Ten days later, I went back to the hospital as scheduled. The woman was still there, but this time she was sitting up, watching TV,  looking as if she’d never been very ill in her life.

People are so impatient with each other. They dump people in their life for any reason under the sun.  Something fleeting.

It seems it’s more important to pretend there are no shadows in your life, then it is to stand by a friend or a lover as they struggle or puzzle their way through something…or perhaps even fight for their life.

Personally, I have been through some really ugly times. Thankfully I’ve friends who stuck by me. If not, I don’t think this blog would be here.

Have you ever witnessed a remarkable comeback?


Comments

Think Twice Before You Lose Faith In A Person — 30 Comments

  1. Sitting here reading this with tears in my eyes as I am reminded of the struggles I had putting my life back together following my divorce. The confusion surrounding the divorce was hard enough; the way people scattered as if I had a contagious virus made it ten times more difficult. However, the friends who upholded me during that time, who cared enough to listen or dry a tear, were more precious than anything.

    As a Scorp, I am usually on the supportive end of things. It was the first time I really needed the kind of loyalty and compassion I freely gave to others, and I think it showed me the real value of all the things you just mentioned today.

    Thanks, Elsa!

  2. This post “got to me”, because as many of the regulars know, my stepson went off the rails.

    Unfortunately, he went from being a nice, caring person to a criminal, hedonistic, and destructive way of life.

    Whether he’ll ever resurface is anyone’s guess.

    I haven’t fully turned my back on him, despite appearances to the contrary. He did things that put my family’s safety in jeopardy. I can’t support that. As I said on other boards…lose the attitude, dump the crummy friends, quit the drugs, and we’ll talk.

  3. “Is he gonna get better?”
    “Already is, a little.”
    “Will he race?”
    “No.”
    “So, why are you fixing him?”
    “Because I can. Every horse is good for somethin’. He could be a cart horse or a lead pony. And he’s still nice to look at. You know,you don’t throw a whole life away just ’cause he’s banged up a little..”
    ~Seabiscuit

    Thanks for this post, Elsa.
    Glad your client has turned a corner. And glad the patient is regaining her health.
    I don’t have to know them to honestly celebrate their overcoming of adversity.

  4. Yes, and i have my friends and family to thank too in those dark times. I think that the transformational power of people is huge, that we can pull anything off if we have love standing by our side. I think people let go too often and easy too. And if that ill someone get’s bigger, better, stronger, faster, after, the people that flee have their lesson learned. I will never ever forget who stood by me when i was no fun.

  5. i have somebody who is chronically ill, probably due to emotional dysfunction. Many, many times I’ve wanted to throw in the towel but something keeps me hoping that the real, happy and loving person inside will see clear to throw off the past once and for all. She comes and goes. It is touch and go daily, not knowing who I will be talking to – the well, happy person or the despondent sickly victim. Still, it isn’t my job to give up on her. I know there is a reason for everything and maybe i am here for a purpose.

  6. Hi Elsa,

    This is very timely as Saturn is sitting directly on my Mercury, very close to my sun in my natal 8th house. I’m trying to be quiet and attentive to others as deep stuff is happening in my 8th house. :)

  7. I think about in this way:

    People are like plants. In certain periods of their life (especially during winter) they may take a reprieve and appear to be dead, dried up, grey, bleak, and hopeless…no amount of nourishment or light or begging is going to bring them back at that moment. When the time is right, with patience, they will spring back up, restored, renewed, and revived. This is a cycle.

    If one is cognizant of that fact and know that this time will pass, then the faith aspect won’t be in vain. Planting seeds and waiting is not easy for this instant gratification culture. But it is worth it! If my friends or family hadn’t stuck it out with me during tough times of deep depression and harrowing trials in my life and continue to pour encouragement and love when I wasn’t able to receive it or reflect it immediately, I wouldn’t have been able to conquer those demons as quickly as I did. It might have dragged out for years longer. I’m thankful for their perseverance. :D

  8. I wrote this last week. That client is riding high now. Two weeks earlier he was keyed up and crying spontaneously.
    I like him a lot. I hope he has a really happy life ahead.

    “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
    – Winston Churchill

  9. Also, anyone who has ever had Saturn transit their 12th house…
    well there are some transits that are really, really difficult for many, if not most, people/

  10. To answer the 12th house Saturn transit: Yes…I went through that about 10 years ago. It was a lot. I ended a marriage that was absolutely karmic and needed to be severed MUCH earlier on. Went through numerous frivolous court battles regarding my two eldest and had all my 12th house dirty laundry out for the world to see –all the demons were flying around my head for, oh, about 2 1/2 years as all my inners were scrutinized by cold, uncaring faces that were judging me. I cried for about a year straight. It was awful. I maintained my composure outwardly, however, and always took the high-road, which my ex did not.

    At the end, I had a hard-won but modest victory after getting knocked down numerous times (after about 15 at this point), I earned my street cred for not giving up in spite of being exposed. This relationship did not die easily as my ex was very abusive (BPD)and wanted to make sure I was punished sufficiently.

    I have 12th house Jupiter. I placed a lot of faith in God and tried to remain as optimistic as possible. That may have been what helped me.

    Saturn in the first house? Piece of cake! :D

  11. @Elsa “Also, anyone who has ever had Saturn transit their 12th house…
    well there are some transits that are really, really difficult for many, if not most, people”

    Saturn was in my 12th last year – the year I had a very bad accident on Jan 5, AND the year I put my now FI through hell of relationship ups/downs all because I feared losing my “freedom”.

    @Kashmiri, hear you; I have natal Saturn 0deg in 8th. My life has, seriously, always been me feeling like an orphan and transforming myself to succeed with truth. That “truth” thing has ALWAYS been a part of all my transformations. We 8thSaturns can probably stand down Satan in terms of grit. lol ugh.

    This thread and you guys’ Saturn posts are fantastic in a very real, eyes wide open way.

  12. One significant addendum to the Saturn transit 12th of my previous post – what’s dead-on about Saturn tr 12th for me and that bad accident I had, was that my mind/thoughts were in a deep blockage/depression the night of the accident. It was my mind (the subconscious 12th) that fed the actions that led to the factors that contributed to my accident.

  13. I was a drug user at one point and I bounced back because of my family well in which case I got so sick I couldn’t function. So I completely recovered, well now I know something is wrong with me. Anyhow I am still upset that my old friend’s brother died a bad death and alone because he was addicted to drugs and would “steal” money from his parents to support his habit. Well I knew when I saw him the house he did in a painful way that he would end up hurt in a bad way. And I really wanted his mom to let him stay home. But apparently I found out he wanted to get out. So its really hard to say. As long as your there for the person there ok.I was still at home while my episode happened. But I miss my old friends older brother because he was very kind, and very charming. I always thought he would have been a rock star. He played the guitar very well. Well anyway .. I know its hard for people to reconcile with others when things are bad. When my friends upset me its hard for me to confront them but its really me because I can’t come to those emotions where it leaves me uncomfortable. They’ve told me I annoy them too sometimes but that no one’s perfect. So I like my friends. But I know that being the eccentric people we are we will all separate physically. Its already happening. But they will still be my friends and we’ll KIT. One’s comfort zone is one’s family and friends and sometimes I think if its doing more harm than good one should leave it. If not take a leap of faith.

  14. Yes and no. I get what you mean by this post and completely agree (been on both sides). But in my experience, (1) there’s a balance between being there for someone and making sure you take care of yourself and (2) some people confuse “being supportive” and “coddling.”

  15. I can second the natal saturn in the 8th having an orphan-like effect in ones life…. but at least I get 2 saturn returns in less then a year (anyone jealous? Didn’t think so) since the upcoming retro period will station direct right on top of my natal degree, which is also conjunct my natal pluto.

  16. I dunno. I feel like I make a comeback every day. I’m really not kidding.

    I appreciate the idea though. I wish there would have been somebody, somewhere, who would have at least hung out through a little of it.

  17. No, but I want to. With a Cap, he has been a little nasty towards me. Not sure why I have so much faith in this relationship even.

  18. I have Saturn in the 8th as well, but it is at 2″ Sagitarius. My sun, mercury, north node all in Scorpio are in the 8th house as well. Yep, feeling like an orphan is well known here! (Strangely enough, I felt more like an orphan when my parents were alive…)

  19. At some point, I’d like to think of myself as making a comeback. But I’m not there yet.

    Redemption is a scarce commodity at times.

  20. It makes me happy to see them come alive again, but some people will turn around after they get well and drop you even though you nursed them back to health.

    Try not to lose faith in people, but don’t make them worse by trying to force them into something before they are ready, either. People tend to attack vulnerable people as well as scatter.

    But look around, if you see anyone with a strong pluto that’s having ups and downs, you bet they will have a stunning comeback or two or a dozen.

  21. I work in hospice…and yes I’ve seen several comebacks…people that are ready to die and all of sudden they dont…hmmm it kinda makes me wonder maybe sometimes all people need is some tender love and care

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>