I was talking to an exceptionally bright young woman about how I got happy instead of bitchy, in regards to my husband, and what this led me to realize. People rarely want to take it upon themselves to make the change that will alter their relationships. They always want to get the other person to do it, which thwarts their own growth. Consequently, it’s not often I get to have a conversation like this.
I’m not talking about staying in horrible relationships, so stay with me on this. I’m talking about having a conflict in a good relationship, or some kind of misgiving or a sense of disillusionment that may come when one of your ideals is not met. Maybe you keep hitting this same sticking point over and over, with the same person or a series of people. Maybe you’re good at bolting and leaving a relationship, but you never seem to get anywhere.
I thought this gal could figure things out if she’d tap her intellect. She might even realize the thing that irks her about her man actually benefits her in numerous ways, if she were to “look behind the trashy stuff“.
I don’t think people realize they can dig deeper and get beyond their complaint to point where they’re happy and deeply satisfied. They simply don’t know how to get ’round the bend, so they can see the blindingly brilliant magic in their partnerships. This is odd in a way, since most believe things happen for a reason. Why not look for the reason?
Has anyone else ever realized they were custom-made for their partner (and vice-versa), when on the surface it seemed otherwise?
pictured – De-fence mechanism, Jane Whiting Chrzanoska