Moon in Scorpio – Manipulative Mother?

If you have a Scorpio moon, this means your mother is or was manipulative. I have seen people claim that and it simply isn’t true. There are plenty of people with their moon in Scorpio who have no complaint with their mother.  There are others who do have a mother with dark energy or some kind of sordid past.

If you’re in the latter group, this can contribute to your tendency to feel repulsive. I was talking to a gal like this the other day.

She said that her (lousy) mother was the only example she had. I said, her mother was the only example she needs.

With the moon in Scorpio, you do carry the family legacy, but you’re capable of transforming it.  If your mother set a good example, and empowered you in the process – great. If she set a bad example, you’re still in fine shape, because you know exactly what not to do.

You’re using her energy either way. Why not have a great life?

Does anyone out there operate in this way?

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Moon in Scorpio – Manipulative Mother? — 60 Comments

  1. My moon is either in Libra or Virgo, depending on who works up my chart. My mother is VERY manipulative, with her sun and I believe moon in cancer. And Elsa, you are right, when I feel myself becoming wretched, I remind myself I can feel empowered instead, it is, ultamately, my choice. I tend to go too far though, while trying NOT to be like my mother, I sometimes lose sight of who I really am.

  2. Moon in Scorpio conjunct Mars in Scorpio square Pluto in Leo. My mother was extremely emotionally manipulative, gave attention and approval very conditionally, and played the martyr throughout her life. Shortly before she died I realized she fit textbook descriptions of Destructive Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It was a very upsetting discovery, but it allowed me to read up on this mental illness and finally piece together a lot of my own truth. “If you can’t be a good example, you’ll have to be a terrible warning.” This quote from Carolyn Aird has for many years succinctly summarized my feelings toward my mother.

  3. I don’t quite understand how this could make sense. I have an Aquarius moon, one of my brothers has a Scorpio moon and the other has a Virgo moon. We all have the same mother. I guess I can see how we would each have a different perspective of and relationship with her (which we do to a small degree), but it’s not dramatically different and ultimately she’s still the same person.

  4. “You’re using her energy either way. Why not have a great life?”

    Yes! My descendant is in Scorpio, this is how I operate in general. :)

  5. I don’t have a moon in scorpio, but my mother was extremely manipulative. I am painfully earnest and straightforward. But I do live a great life. All of my siblings agree that our parents set a great example on how not to behave.

  6. My moon is Scorpio. My Mother submitted to her manipulative Mother. My Grandmother ruled the roost. My Mother’s moon was Aquarius. Since my Grandmother Mothered me, usually overruling my Mother. I can bear witness. It make me smile I learned tremendous lessons from them both. <3.

  7. “If she set a bad example, you’re still in fine shape, because you know exactly what not to do”

    No words more true. She has always been an example of what to never do. I knew this as a small child. I am not sure how I knew it because no good example was ever set. But still, I knew it. I always felt like I was sent here to be her Mother.

  8. “If she set a bad example, you’re still in fine shape, because you know exactly what not to do.”

    What if you don’t know how to stop? Like it feels compulsive and fated.

  9. “What if you don’t know how to stop? Like it feels compulsive and fated.”

    If that is you belief, you’ll go with it. But really, I am from a very bad family, and I manage not to kill people or steal from them, various other sundries.

  10. My husband has a scorpio moon and this post really makes me smile :-). I find his mother very manipulative and I feel that she is very secretive. She is not very smart in being candid about her ways, which amuses me. I don’t think she can harm anyone other than with her words, which she is not too smart about. This is really very interesting to know. She is also a Pisces sun. I don’t know much about her chart but she is definitely always hiding something. She believes in people keeping secrets and not sharing much about themselves. She has two sons and she tells me not to share with her other daughter inlaw about my life and she tells her the same. How strange to be telling me this, what do you think? I am the total opposite. I understand if a person is not comfortable sharing but family is family. You should not isolate one person to not know when the rest of the family knows. I can see that is probably what she does to me. I don’t really care to know her secrets as long as it does not affect me. I really think this woman has too much time on her hands.

  11. I have a great mother. I have Scorpio moon. My mom is 70 years old, she has spent her life, money everything for me. I love her, connect with her from deep down of my heart. She understand me the most. Still now, whatever good or bad things happenes to me, I go to her first. May God bless her.

  12. i have moon 26 – chiron23- mars 22 in scorpio 4th sq asc 21
    u tell me — L.O.L.
    its not helpfull to judge mum
    afterall they are perfect and martyrs as all ready mentioned
    she was a good ballroom dancer
    good at making a little go a long way –
    ahh bread dripping – steak and kidney pudding

  13. I have Moon in Scorpio and so does my daughter and everyone that is important in my life (her father my spiritual mom). I guess we click and get each other on a deep level. Do I feel manipulated by my mom? I think we manipulate OURSELVES into wanting other’s or my mom to see behind the veil as we do.
    The fact that they can’t or choose to ignore it is the bummer. We see the train track is broken ahead and we can yell and try to get you to see it but you still get on the train!!!
    The part that get’s me angry is that I fear becoming HER>. But the beauty is that I won’t since she’s showing me what not to do… as you stated ELSA>

  14. Scorpio moon right here! A nicely aspected moon too.. My mother has been completely obsessed w/ me my whole life.. Since I have been a married adult the obsession has taken a jealous turn.. She has tried to turn my loved ones against me and make my life miserable.. I have given her numerous chances and tried to help her in so many ways but the bottom line is that the woman has a personal vendetta against me.. I could seriously write a book! Thankfully I have recently came to terms w/ not having her in my life and it feels incredible to finally free myself from her madness..

    She has one of the toughest charts I have ever seen (no birth time tho) Aries sun w/ a Scorpio Mars squaring Pluto to say the least..
    Interesting theory! I have never heard it before but rings eerily true for me..

  15. I don’t have a Scorpio moon but do have a cancer moon in the 8th house and while I can say that my mother was and still is manipulative (my moon is square both mars and saturn), it is very true that her bad example shows me what I shouldn’t do.

    I have decided that since there is no getting rid of this energy I can either swim or sink. I have made a conscious decision to swim. Yes, my mother is my mother, but I do not have to be like her.

  16. @Scorpioandproud

    “I always felt like I was sent here to be her Mother.”

    I have always felt this way too, and to be honest it helped me learn how to nurture myself since that was something that my mother couldn’t provide. It took me some time to understand this, but I get it now.

  17. My husband has a Scorpio Moon, and while I wonder if it’s too easy or tempting to vilify one’s mom-in-law, this makes a lot of sense. When her kids were little she married a man who abused all in the household. Even after she got rid of him they didn’t talk about it and my husband, being the eldest, felt resentful that the truth of this couldn’t be acknowledged. He was always accused of having a bad attitude. It was repressed by everybody, until his sister began going through severe mental problems 30+ years later, as if out of the blue, but not really. His mother has tried to make good to them and is in many ways a good mother now, but the damage is so deep it’s hard to forgive, and she often blames my husband for keeping his distance from the family, as though he has no reason to do so. Anyway, tough stuff, and hard for all. Amazing how much damage one person can do, and how much damage is caused by allowing it to happen. My husband said his whole family knew but no one stepped in to help.

  18. Scorpio Moon conjunct Neptune, my mother was toxic yet elusive. She could not bear to be needed by me when I was a child–she was the one with needs.

    Many years of therapy later, I got it sorted out and am glad to say I’m a happy mother. Even my crazy mother says I’m doing a great job so I guess I broke the cycle. It was hard and for a long time I thought I would never get over being angry at her, but it finally seems to have happened.

    Actually it didn’t just happen. Elsa is right. I chose it and worked hard for it.

  19. I have this in my twelfth and it’s “afflicted”. I had problems with my mom during my tween-teen years but we resolved them later on through the years and are very close now. The idea that we carry the family legacy to be healed/transformed really,really resonates with me and I think this has been my biggest work. We can only do the blame game for so long until we are usually forced to face up to some very hard facts and make better choices for our lives. The most precious gold comes by way of compassion and forgiveness-for our mothers/fathers/family and for ourselves. It’s work, it takes incredible strength, but healing and going forward are the rewards. I think we are so lucky today because we have so much information now and do not have to keep sweeping things under the rug and paying it forward if you will like our parents and grandparents felt they had to do.

  20. I have Scorpio moon (Leo sun + Virgo asc) and I had/have an emotionally stunted and sometimes overbearing mother (she has Aries sun, I do not know her moon or ascendant). She was never told she was loved by her parents (until they were each on their deathbed) and was sexually abused for a period in childhood by a stranger staying next door to where she lived – she internalized it and blocked it from her memory and this manifested into migraines, which stopped in her mid 50s when she got some therapy and dredged it back up to help heal the wound.

    During the period when she was having these migraines she had a very deep anger seething within her which manifested as a blurry, undirected and confusing vindictiveness. Aside from that, she otherwise showed a lot of love and care (hugged and kissed my siblings and I every day, told us she loved us and did a lot to show us that) but was still jealous and overly needy at times, playing the victim a lot. She still spends a lot of time living vicariously through her children while ignoring her problems, as if that will solve them. I bring it up anytime I see it happening and she either hears it or doesn’t.

    A positive aspect of her personality is that she has been interested in different forms of healing at times, so she has done at least some soul searching. When I was in my teens she took me to see a few different medicine women/shamanesses who helped me a lot with seeing through the emotional turmoil to the love underneath and the need to empathize and forgive traumas, my own and those of everyone else. That initial healing work led into a lot of inner discovery and further healing for me, something I continue to this day through meditation, doing inner journeys, dialoguing with archetypal figures, painting, drawing, etc. I am not afraid of the depths….

    She set many examples, some not so good and some great ones. I love her no matter what and don’t blame her – with reflection comes the realization that you are in charge of who you are, who you become….I chose long ago not to just repeat the pattern, but to engage with it and transform it to the best of my ability into something positive and healing.

    Great post Elsa!

  21. I have Moon in Scorpio. My Mom did a lot of stuff that I don’t want to do. Undoing patterns is difficult, but empowering and exhilerating.

  22. Both me and my mother have Scorpio moon in the 12th house with Scorpio ascendant on the same degree. Otherwise, we have opposite personal planets (me Leo her Aquarius). My mother is a Wierd mix of cold, sensitive, strong, and dependent. I’ve always been dedicated to her and we’ve gotten closer as years go on. She was an alcoholic for a large part of her life, but still very lovable and interesting to be around. There has been a lot of sorrow and hardship for her as she has faced so many serious illnesses over the last 15 years. It’s hard to be on that roller coaster of good news/bad news. I still love her, though. She has always been a phenomenal person. I would say my dad is far more manipulative with sun conjunct Pluto in cancer in the 10th opp moon in cap.

  23. “If she set a bad example, you’re still in fine shape, because you know exactly what not to do.”

    So true, Elsa. She has always been an example of what to never do.

    I have Moon in Scorpio. My mother has a Scorpio Ascendant. She is very manipulative. She was also physically and verbally abusive. I’m so thankful that my maternal grandmother took me away from that toxic environment.

  24. have moon in scorpio, 4th house. yes, manipulative, paranoid and mentally ill. Took a long, hard ride down life’s path to get over the hurt. And I do look into that mirror everyday. Tell myself I am not her, I am not her, I am not her.

  25. I don’t have Moon in Scorpio,
    but my mother had Moon in Scorpio and her sister also had Moon in Scorpio. Their mother, my grandmother was an extremely emotionally manipulative person. She was a Sun Cancer, Virgo Moon and Mars in Scorpio. Talk about controlling! If she couldn’t force you to do what she wanted, she would threaten and if that didn’t work, she would control you with guilt. “You’ll be sorry when I’m dead and so on.”

    Hard to break that kind of family energy. I lived with all 3 of these women at some time in my life. I am very sensitve to that kind of “control manipulation” and it’s easier said than done when your trying to rise above it and not repeat it.

    My grandmother was also very loving and protective. Too protective. She was an enabler. I think she crippled my mother in so many ways. My aunt was the stronger of the two.

  26. I’m a Scorpio moon, Pluto and Saturn in the 4th. and though it was hard growing up, i hated my mother and all, i think it’s a blessing today, i moved out from my mother’s house and we started getting along more, and now i can see her childhood wasnt easy as well. We are so different. But with my moon i feel i can relate to anyone in pain and be there with them, and for them, and never be scared. Also there’s an ability for transformation that helped me through my life and hard times. Sorry for my english, im south american. Hughs.

  27. Trying to. I don’t think it helps to blame your parents after a while, even if everything is their fault. It’s still your life; you can do what you want with it — become who you want to be. The longer you stay stuck in a blame script the longer it will be before you can possibly get out of the state you’re complaining about in the first place.

    But I do observe the connections as they come up. For example I am not very sure of my femininity because my mom, I think, was not sure of her own and I really think she wished I was a boy. She dressed me like one when I was a kid — once a man in an elevator asked me if I was a boy or a girl. And she called me by a male nickname. She *hated* “girly” stuff, kept my hair cut short and I believe the reason she suppressed all the “girly” was because she was damaged somehow there and if I were recognized for my femininity she might not have been able to trust herself not to annihilate me in a jealous rage.

    So…you know…you process all that. Ah, that’s why this is weird for me. Etc. Not blaming or being bitter. But it can help to know where things come from.

  28. Capricorn Moon in 1st. I was obviously meant to be my own mother in this life. My mother has an Aquarius Moon, as well her Uranus is conjunct my Sun and her Saturn is the same degree as my Chiron, conjunct my IC.

    I really love my mother but dang is she ever cold!

    Big long line of mentally checked out, unmothered mothers on my maternal side of the family. I am not a mother myself and have no idea if it will happen for me. It’s a total mystery to me.

  29. I have a Scorpio moon conjunct pluto daughter. She has always been such a good kid, I couldn’t have asked for better. I hope she doesn’t feel like i manipulate her. I think I’ll ask her … I have a Capricorn moon. I don’t feel like my mom abused me but I don’t think she was very loving. She was always kind of cold. Never any hugs. I love my mom and appreciate all she’s done for me, but i want to be different mom to my girls. In some ways I’ve always felt I could make up for my childhood by being the kind of mom i would have liked to my daughters.

  30. Moon in Sag here in the 9th — but it’s square Pluto in Virgo in the 6th, so the darker Scorpio energy definitely rubs off on what would otherwise be the “class clown” Moon.

    My mom is a Virgo with a Capricorn Moon. *Her* Taurus Sun/Aries Moon mother had a fierce intelligence but a quick temper and a disdain for nurturing. (RAE — My mom could probably relate to your childhood experiences. You and my mom are both Capricorn Moon women, and nobody has ever described my grandmother as warm or openly affectionate.)

    So my mom became obsessed (her Mars is in Scorpio) with being a better mother than her own mother. As the first of two children — both daughters — I definitely bore the brunt of Mom’s obsession. She felt that all of my actions and life’s choices reflected on her, and I spent a lot of time in therapy in my 20s learning about boundaries and detachment.

    I still have a hard time finding a middle ground between spewing my emotions all over the place and shutting down so as not to let my emotions dictate my actions.

    Semi-happy ending: My mom and I get along a lot better these days. Astrology helped me realize that Mom didn’t have anyone modeling a loving mother in her own life, so when she became a parent, she had to make it up as she went along. She did her best, and she did a lot of good things for me and my sister.

  31. My Moon is in Scorp (Sun in Leo) My Mother (Aquar) was the ABSOLUTE BEST MOM ANYONE COULD ASK.. So I whole hardley agree Elsa… I hope I can live up to her legacy when my own children come along.. but I was lucky! Aquar parents usually have good Reps with thier off spring..

    Loved the Article

  32. Sorry if I am posting this a little late. I am a mom to a little girl who is sun leo, scorpio moon & virgo rising and identical twin boys who have their sun in virgo, moon in taurus & scorpio rising. I am a aires sun, taurus moon & leo rising. I don’t know if I agree completely because I am a loving mom and am an empath. Maybe I am missing something??

  33. I also have a daughter with a Scorpio moon, and I think that it can play out in many ways. I too am very loving, and not manipulative, though my daughter definitely has had hardships with me. The Scorpio moon child is very hard on him/ herself, and in my opinion is somewhat of a perfectionist. My daughter gets upset with herself, puts herself in time out when she makes a mistake. The thing to remember is how ultra sensitive these babies are. The slightest tone of disapproval opens her floodgates of tears because she feels so very upset with herself if she upsets anyone else. She has had it rough. Her father was in Iraq during my pregnancy with her, fighting a war, and i was an emotional wreck. Then, when he got back i had to have surgery that actually made me worse, and i have been sickly since. While i am a very affectionate and loving mother, she still has these Scorpio feelings. I have 4 children. She is the youngest and my only Scorpio moon. Remember that she was the one born with the moon placement, and it is likely that her perception of you will be very intense. As long as you are careful to not wound the sensitive emotions of the Scorpio moon (which will likely cause Scorpio resentment,) then you can have a very deep and healing relationship with your Scorpio moon child. Don’t ever make her feel like her feelings are a burden or unimportant. Hold her when she cries, and dont tell her to suck it up. These babies feel both positive and negative feelings very intensely and in a magnified way. I wish you luck with your Scorpio moon baby, and i am going to try my best with mine:)

  34. yep totally. i’m a scorpio moon and my mother is a scorpio sun, and the control is far-reaching thru my life, lol! i became secretive as soon as i was a child, just to balance out the intensive, persistent, perpetual interrogative nature. it continues onwards even though i’m adult; she even checks through my shelves when i’m in the shower, what she’s looking for i don’t know. strict or controlling, yes, and even disloyal in some subtle ways, she even blackmails me sometimes – when it counts of course, lol. yes i’m an unhappy scorpio moon. but yet, despite all this, she’s still a very good mum, lol. she is ‘present’ (and she doesn’t shy away from most things, except she can’t handle my down times or moods) ,in many ways.

  35. Yes! I have Moon in Libra. I’m attentive towards equanimity, kindness and all-encompassing thought because my mother was the *exact* opposite. So I guess my Moon doesn’t show the kind of mother I had (or well actually it does but only if one looks at the “harsh” aspects it receives from Chiron, Neptune and Mars) as much as what I learned NOT to do after having her as an example.

  36. Sagittarius sun/Scorpio Moon mother… It was very hard to live with her because all it was is blame and manipulation and control. A mother who can get anyone who can take a child’s story and twist it. I was hurt by her and never felt safe in her presence. I, a Capricorn Sun/Moon Leo… Was a tough cookie because I saw her tactics as unbearable to live with. Nothing she does is wrong. Everything she does is always Right to her in her eyes. It was quite frustrating to live with when a daughter is trying to look up to her mother as a proper roll model.

  37. HELP! I keep falling for scorpio moon guys. i attract them like flies and i feel a strange attachment towards them. But with me being a Leo moon I’m too harsh on them and they hide. I never knew they were this sensitive until i observed them better. I have two children. An older son and a younger daughter. My oldest sun has scorpio moon. He was born a month early and during my pregnancy with him i was so sensitive and going through nursing school with little food and no money. His father took me through it and it was a time of my life id never forget. Fast-forward to my daughters pregnancy. It was more easy going. Im nursing. It was relaxed. No issues. People did feed me alot. She has a Taurus moon. Their tempermants are like night and day. I get along with her better because I’m not very sensitive to small issues. So when she cries i rush to her aid and comfort her all i can. But for some reason my scorpion moon son irritates me. Idk y. this hurts me so much. I’m trying to understand these Scorpio moons. Help guys. My mom is even one. Shes nosey as hell and goes through my things and cant take the blame for anything. It drives me into a rage. But shes like genius smart. Scorpion moons help me to understand what type of partner attracts you and how can i know you better.

    PS lately ive been attracting Aries moons which are rather refreshing because i understand their anger. Sorry its long its my first time venting on a site.

  38. One more thing ive noticed water moons are very afraid of things. Theyre not very sociable and trusts only a feW people. And yes All of these people with scorpion (water) moons have controlling moms that are mean. Which i am too but learning this has made me relax in parenting a whole lot more. Thanks everyone: )

  39. The friend I posted about on “weekend love forecast” has Scorpio moon @ 20 & neptune @ 23. I have saturn @ 23 & sun @ 24. He had a weird relationship with his mother who also had moon in Scorpio. She took complete control of every aspect of his life and destroyed every relationship he had. Their charts were almost identical like she tried to birth herself. Except that neptune squared her sun. She was insanely manipulative and controlling and would go off when she wasn’t able to do anything. Both carried that neptune energy. Everyone was surprised I managed to stay with him as long as I did but it must have been my saturn grounding his neptune. Since her transition I was encouraged to stay with him longer but started to think he might be thrown off without that manipulation although it would pop up between us. My question is: how does an older person function when that’s all they are used to? When there is no one manipulating them would they automatically resort to creating emotionally manipulative situations?

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