When People Discard You Because You Represent Something To Them

kiriecat wrote on People Getting Dumped For The Holidays…

“My SO dumped me two weeks before HIS birthday. Silly – I gave him his presents anyhow. It was nothing I wanted or could use and it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

I was going to post on this thread, this smacks of kiriecat being sacrificed as a representation of something her significant other did not want to take into his next birthday year. I know they were together awhile and it just seems to be not personal to, kiriecat. I thought this was a good topic so I am taking it up.

As a example of what I mean (and this is pure speculation), let’s say this guy has a birthday and does not want to be reminded of his age.  He looks are kiriecat, who is also aging and he’s reminded! But if he gets rid of her and avoids mirrors, he can stay in his bubble awhile longer.

Whether or not this is valid in this situation, I don’t know. But I think the scenario is common. I happens to me all the time. It happens so often, it’s laughable.

kiriecat’s ex is still going to be an old man. He could have been an old man, with a woman in his life, but guess not.

The graph is interesting. (click to enlarge).  The peak at the end of the year might be people who want a fresh start for first of the year. The spring dumpings probably correlate with spring cleaning, but people may also feel they are losing weight. You may be akin to their winter coat, which will not be needed in the months ahead.  I’m not suggesting this is conscious, though it may be.

Will anyone cop to dumping someone, or sacrificing someone for a reason that had virtually nothing to do with them? In the kiriecat scenario, it seems this might be a way where she’s made to pay his bill.

 

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When People Discard You Because You Represent Something To Them — 13 Comments

  1. I have never dumped someone without a specific reason, usually something for something concrete they’ve done but occasionally it’s just one of those “You’re not what I need / I’m not what you need, let’s stop torturing each other.” So, no, I think I can safely say I haven’t sacrificed anyone on the altar of “hey, look over there!” ;)

  2. Leaving my ex was both intensely personal and also a function of the dynamic described above. I had just turned 30, and I knew I couldn’t live the rest of my life the way I lived my first 30 years. There were specific things about me, him, and the relationship, but that was the bottom line. My Saturn Return prepared me for something greater than living in service to someone else’s dysfunction.

    I’m a Cap, so this occurred pretty close to both Christmas and the New Year. ;)

  3. No, but I have absolutely no doubt this is part of the reason why my ex eft me. When his brother died, he left his other long term partner…the also told me of some other breakups (he was quite a bit older than me) and I connected dots.

    He had Sun/Saturn in Capricorn/7th trine Pluto.

  4. I wish I could go back over all my ex’s and what time of year I decided to shed them! (I was young!)

    Makes me wonder if the stats for dumpings rise pre/during Saturn Returns or Uranus opp?

  5. @sadiablo~~”So, no, I think I can safely say I haven’t sacrificed anyone on the altar of “hey, look over there!” That’s hilarious! Ditto what you said.

  6. *thinking back hard on this while the office is radio-silent this time of year*

    Okay, can honestly say all my dumpings have been a character concern/issue.

    Kiri, sorry to hear of your relationship status. A breakup is hard enough, then add in this time of year. Don’t know him, but that is a jerk think to do and let the door hit HIM on the way out. He’ll be calling come the end of January, mark my words, when things are bleak and he freaks out. And when he does call, he will, please do NOT pick up initially. He doesn’t deserve a pick-up for the first month, or ever, when he comes calling. Just my plug nickel on the matter. I’d share a glass of wine and a laugh with you but this is the interweb, boo.

  7. I once dumped a guy because he wouldn’t put out. I think young me sucked about enough for ten of us. :) but you know what? SO WHAT? he found the gal he married and they’re hopelessly happy.

  8. “kiriecat’s ex is still going to be an old man. He could have been an old man, with a woman in his life, but guess not.”

    Lol. That just about sums it up.

  9. Also though — I always sort of put this into the hopper with the fall eclipses. It becomes really obvious somewhere in October that whatever you thought this thing was going to be aint going to be that. There are only two choices available at that point — or so we assess.

  10. Cap Venus – once I’m engaged I’ll “climb any mountain” for that man, and to try to keep things going.

    I’ve only once finished things with a man I was seriously involved with; and it was because I knew that – lovely though the man was, and is – he was not right for me and we would make one another unhappy. He married a couple of years later and they have been very happy together now for 45 years.

  11. Ha! Yep, I paid the price. His very words were “It’s not you, it’s me”. I doubt he realized how true they were.

    He had just gone through his second Saturn Return (one from hell, with a retrograde in the middle that stretched it to over a year). He had also just lost his stepfather and is now taking care of his mother, who he has never had a close relationship with. He had a heart attack last fall. He turned 60 this year. I don’t keep track of his life, but we have a lot of common friends so I hear things. He’s depressed. He’s not seeing anyone. Overall, I think he did me a big favor by dumping me.

    My life has blossomed while his has shrunk. They say the best revenge is living a good and happy life “without him”. I’m doing that. I still care about him and it makes me sad to see him so unhappy, but he made the choice. You are probably right, Elsa. I may have reminded him he was getting old. Now I remind him of what he could have had if he’d stayed. Funny how the dynamics change.

  12. Pluto is currently conjunct his Chiron and opposing his natal Sun/Venus/Uranus. I hope he’s doing a lot of growing/healing. Otherwise he will probably end up a bitter old man.

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