Speaking of deal breakers in relationship, my husband always says that you can’t turn blood on blood. To me, old friends are like blood.
I think it is always a mistake to bad mouth a person’s family, even if the person speaks poorly about their family themselves as these roots are very deep.
When you attack a person’s family, you attack them. When you attack and criticize their friends, you attack them as well. Same when you attack a person’s spouse.
As far as I am concerned when you go after a person’s inner circle, you pretty much force them to defend against you. If a person has to defend themselves, their family or their friends against you it’s probably just a matter of time before you get the boot, not that this stops people from doing this.
It is really pretty common someone will come into another person’s life and move to be alpha dog aka your new best friend. Some do this by undermining the people already in your life; a foolish way to go in the long run because when people grew up together or have been friends for a number of years, you can rest assured there has been some currency exchanged.
By that I mean if a relationship has been sustained for 5 or 10 or 20 or 30 years, you can be sure that favors have been done in both directions. The parties have been challenged in their relationship and seen it stand, “the test of time”, as they say. People who can’t stand the test of time don’t have any old friends.
Ten years ago, I met HQ and around the same time I met this other gal who I liked a lot. I liked the hell out of her actually and she knew HQ and I were friends. Why then, did she attack him?
I didn’t understand it at the time. HQ extended himself to her simply because I liked her and she was nasty to him. She was just… nasty.
I am embarrassed of my attitude at the time. I told, HQ, sorry but she is not nasty to me. He quit interacting with her and I continued. A few weeks later she was uber-nasty to me and I also quit interacting with her.
If someone attacks your inner circle, it’s very bad sign. If you are someone who attacks a person’s inner circle, I’d say that’s a losing tactic.
Anyone else have experience with this?