Saturn Conjunct Mercury And Limiting Your Perception

pipe tobaccoI really liked what Elsa had to say today about people who are not like you. It reminded me of the period in my life during my twenties when I worked in a smoke shop in a busy mall. We sold cigars, cigarettes, pipes and pipe tobacco and all kinds of smoking accoutrement. We also displayed many lines of exquisitely beautiful collectibles, clocks and knick-knacks. People were drawn to our shop for a multitude of reasons, some because they were looking for our core, tobacco-related products and some because of the beauty of our displays.

Plenty of people would pop in and have nice things to say, but some acted just hideously. Tobacco and smoking are subjects that hit some people very viscerally and many seemed very emotionally triggered and judgmental. It got to the point where the moment someone stepped into the store I could sense which way they were going… triggered by beauty or triggered by some internal ugliness.

It also got to the point where I had to consciously suspend my own tendency to think, “Oh my god, people are such assholes.” All of us who worked there had to learn to thicken our hides and do our jobs pleasantly, no matter WHAT was said. This required taking in what was happening, what was being said to us, while suspending judgement on the person who was acting out their personal drama. I learned that when you do that, you get a better outcome, you allow the other person the grace to turn their own judgmental ship around, get hold of themselves and steer back into brighter waters.

When you decide someone is an asshole based on one moment in time, you limit not only them, but yourself and the possibility of a better interaction as things go forward.

With Saturn conjunct Mercury and aspecting Chiron you’re likely to run into situations where people get triggered by perceptions that bring up past wounding. Mercury sextiles Venus and both quincunx Uranus. With Mercury conjunct Saturn, this can result in snap judgements, yours and theirs. Making judgments limits your perception. When you slow down your rush to judgement and allow more time to gather your thoughts and perceptions, you allow a more complete picture to emerge. Reality is a continuum, not a moment in time cast in stone.

It’s easy to dislike someone based on ugly behavior in a moment, or one opinion, or one set of opinions. But you don’t have to decide irrevocably who someone is and whether you like or dislike them indefinitely. Staying open and waiting to decide keeps things dynamic. Making a judgement inhibits perception. It’s hard to see the positive coming from someone you’ve made a negative judgment about. It’s also hard to perceive the negative coming from someone you’ve made a positive judgement about. Ultimately it is your own function you limit, a very good reason to keep an open mind, a wise, mature outlook.

With Saturn at the beginning of Scorpio trining Neptune in early Pisces there’s the possibility of suspending judgement and taking the high road. It calls to mind the lyrics of an old gospel song I love, “It Don’t Cost Very Much”: “Be forgivin’ if someone abuse you, for the Good Lord look for such. Live right each day; smile on your way, and it don’t cost very much.”

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Saturn Conjunct Mercury And Limiting Your Perception — 36 Comments

  1. I once had someone, a grown man, take a swing at me in that shop. he tried to punch me in the face! he was not successful. he just kept digging himself in deeper and making himself look uglier and uglier to the gal he was trying to impress by attempting to verbally abuse me. I just kept my calm and my authority and he ended up running from the mall cops!

  2. I also remember that every day people would say, “I just came in here to smell!” they’d have a big smile on their face… or they’d tell the Prince Albert in a can joke… I tried so hard not to give a jaded reaction, but it was SO HARD, day upon day, week after week, year after year. so if you don’t get the reaction you hoped for from someone, keep in mind, you don’t know WHY they’re reacting the way they are!

  3. This is pretty fab Satori; what a great skill to learn. Seems to me something my parents’ generation espoused, although then they’d come home and kvetch about the person all night, so it didn’t seem that genuine to my youthful self – maybe unfair of me. To stay in your own authority and extend genuine grace to that person – very skilful, powerful and compassionate. Seems to me a person has to have a lot of compassion towards themselves to be able to do that.

  4. the shop owner was a Taurus and the best teacher ever for that lesson. she knew herself and understood well the boundaries of herself to the other. she “ruined” me for all other bosses. her impact on my life was one of the most profoundly positives gifts I’ve ever gotten.

  5. kvetching is one of the energy releases that allows a person to be so mature in the moment! giving the other all that room to maneuver often amounts to some pretty amazing stories!

  6. I love this post. I didn’t see my Dad for 4 years and I used to go into tobacco shops and smell his particular brand of tobacco:)

    Right now t. Scorpio stuff is also opposing my natal Chiron. It hurts but I am looking forward to learning and moving forward.

  7. It’s true that people deserve second chances, as a moment cannot define them…

    … but there’s so many other fantastic people in the world to meet, that I just don’t have time to waste my time with a person who is foul even 1% of the time.

  8. Great post Satori – I agree with J – it’s a great skill to learn.

    I learned it slightly differently, and if you don’t mind my sharing…

    As a food server, I experienced many types of people- many of which were hungry, very often tired (or they would be home cooking for themselves), and grumpy. Now, I could assume that they were just assholes and judged them as such (closing my mind). But, instead- I looked at it as a challenge. I would be extra kind, feed them, then wait to see the change from grumpy to happy camper right before my very eyes!

  9. I try to live with the philosophy that I just have no idea what’s going on with someone. I’ve seen people just unable to cope with what’s a head of them–death or illness of a loved one, accidents, house fire, or something else.

    Those people still have to get up, get dressed, leave their house, buy groceries, get to work–I know that some people would rather curl up and die but just don’t have a choice, they have to keep moving forward. They have to fill the car with gas and get their kids to school.

    “With Saturn at the beginning of Scorpio trining Neptune in early Pisces there’s the possibility of suspending judgement and taking the high road. ”

    I see this, totally. I try to live like this, honestly. I just have no idea what’s happening inside someone other than myself–none. I think some people have a burden that is more difficult than anyone could imagine.

    t.Neptune in my 3rd, sextile Mercury/Chiron. I posted recently about my life philosophy being primarily Gandhian. It works for me.

  10. when I worked in restaurants on my hardest days I remember pretending I was a princess under an enchantment that could only be broken if I served everyone with perfect calm and pleasantry. it was a trip… some of my worst days became my best.

  11. also, I don’t want to make out like I am being saintlike… I am SO NOT. I can be the biggest bitch on the planet. in moments. that’s why I try to suspend judgement, because I know a moment in my life is not representative of who I am as a whole.

  12. I also have (as a person working with the public) what I like to call my Yes days.

    This is a yes day…I say yes in spirit or in words to every asshole that crosses my path, lol. I’d give in to every customer demand, no matter how asinine or unreasonable. I have 10th House Libra Pluto/NN. It was a stretch but it would make the day smoother overall.

    I like your approaches, CArRiE and satori. I may be waitressing soon (that is a big maybe) and I will remember this.

  13. zen koan…yes! it’s a strange challenge, mostly because it provoke my reaction to vacillate between ‘this is super easy’ and ‘holy fack this is super hard to do’… depending on my own head and where it’s at.

    Thanks for your posts, satori, they are always very thought provoking.

  14. This is sooo right on for me today. I have been thinking about this for a couple days. I may run into someone on a bad day and they may think I am a miserable bitch. But miserable bitch is just one of my many facets. I am also trying to extend the same thinking to others. :D

    Thanks for this xoxo

  15. I get that experience with the people around me, cultural conflicts, struggles with what is here versus what they expect. I always always try to keep in my mind and coming out of my mouth the fact that YOU don’t know where they are coming from. In their culture that might be the most honorable, polite and kind thing they could possibly say/do. The learning curve is steeper for those who are struggling with something else. The ones that come and are EXCITED to be here, doesn’t matter how ridgid or different their culture is. :D

  16. outstanding post. seems highly appropriate for the whole saturn in scorp transit, too.
    giving grace frees both in an interaction. think i will need to be full of grace in the coming times.

  17. Thanks for the suggestions satori! It’ll help deal with people who are having a bad time. I’m not judgmental if people are snappy.

  18. Back in the ’70s and ’80s I experienced abuse at the hands of physicians. Not all of them were short-tempered and demanding, but a good number of them were. I worked in Health Information – what used to be called Medical Records some years ago.

    The doctors would come in to sign and/or dictate or request charts. There were some who were downright verbally abusive to staff. I cringed, but acted like I was oblivious. I found that if you respond with the same nastiness, that it tends to escalate. To remain calm and in control of my emotions saved me heartache so many times.

    I also kept this information to myself when friends would talk to me about their wonderful, caring physician – the same man who had been nasty to me at work.

  19. I look for God when I leave my house. If I see someone behaving inappropriately, I see God behaving inappropriately, for my reaction. I frequently laugh at myself and find love and non judgement.

  20. Sometimes I mess it up, but I do try to stand in the shoes of the other person. I have been a waitress, a cashier among other jobs but these two are difficult and I try to make life pleasant for them when dealing with them. I can always tell when it’s the first day on the job for a waitress, and smile and converse with them about ‘how did you know?’ ‘Is it that obvious?’ ‘Am I goofing up that badly?’ I smile and encourage them and assure them it will get better. I usually leave the house with a pocketfull of “I forgive you”‘s for every person I meet that day. I’ve worked with the public all my life. The job I now have has customers always with an ax to grind and ‘it’s your fault’. I’m just there to provide info for those elgible but I don’t make the rules, but when they can’t get what they want, it’s my fault and they express it. They do that because I’m the real person they see after numerous run-around phone calls. I just have to keep that pocket of ‘I forgive yous’ readily available and dispense them with a smile. Admittedly, sometimes I have to say, ‘excuse me’ and walk off of a few seconds.

  21. My dad smoked a pipe. I used to go in tobacco stores especially at Christmas to get some nice smelling tobacco (something I liked to smell – selfish of me, I know)…they were expensive but I didn’t care. But he’d give it away and return to his can of PA.

  22. Great post, Satori. The astrology and the slice of life make for a great breakfast companion(I’m eating oatmeal and raisins). Your tobacco shop story is such a great reminder for me; and @ CArRiE
    I love the the lesson that comes from serving food to hungry folk.

    “but a judgement is an attachment that yokes you to them and inhibits you actually moving on! ” Like Kashmiri my natal Chiron and Mercury are being tweaked with Saturn’s transit. Old wounds and judgement comes up. The grace of this is in seeing that human life is short, of last living female elder passed yesterday, all judgement passes with her, if I/we let go.

    There’s meat here to chew, Satori. Good comments. I’ll appreciate this all day long. Thanks.

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