Having identified a bad pattern in her relationships, a client is attempting to change but spinning out into a confused panic.
“What you are going through, is exactly what can be expected when you try to change a pattern. This is true of any pattern. A person intends to quit smoking or drinking (good decision) but once they get a few feet or a few yards away from their usual thing, they panic. You can compare this to trying to let go one side of a pool and get to the other. Halfway there, you may want to go back to what is known, but is it smart? Probably not. Because the thing you are trying to leave is non-functional…”
Can you relate to this? Saturn is leaving Libra for Scorpio. No more sitting on the fence – this is crunch time.
10 Responses to “Changing Your Negative Patterns”
@elizabethe-turning fear into excitement works for me too
@Elizabethe – I like that… turning fear into excitement! Thanks!
This is my target week-end to quit smoking ‘again’! Thanks for this post, Elsa- I’ll be bookmarking for when I get half way across the pool and need to remind myself to keep swimming! 
I definitely feel the crunch. It’s hard.
Good luck, CArRiE! Leoman is gearing up for another attempt too (also is Scorpio Moon/Neptune).
Oh my, I can definitely relate to this situation. It can be humbling to discover unflattering things about one’s own behavior and how it plays out with other people, but it is trickier to figure out what is a healthier behavior. The fear of losing one’s complete sense of self in attempts to change a small or big portion of one’s behavior can be an impediment.
Yes, the energy of leaving the edge of the pool. I feel it.
@elizabethe … thanks for that story, it’s familiar for me, too. in learning to retrain my brain I do a STOPSTOPSTOP and breathe, distract. It works(the retraining) if I do it, and breathing oh yes. It is all in the breathing.
I love how you put it mokikhana..
There’s also the frustration of seing those we thought would follow with, actually stay behind while we *graduate*….
Yep, that’s me! Quitted smoking 3 month ago. How weird, it was easy. I just felt I’ve had enough. I tried to quit a hundred times before and failed. It’s just the right moment to change bad ol’ habits, I guess.
Congratulations to Carrie & Hazels4tune on the quitting smoking. ♥
I wanted to share one more thing on this subject; obviously it struck a chord in me. This last big change I went through coincided with the stopping of drinking and it was a relationship lesson/gutting, two actually, boyfriend and mother.(all during Saturn in Libra of course). During that whole thing I felt like the guy in the movie, “American Werewolf in London” when he is changing into a wolf. Remember the scene? The AGONY of being stretched and re-figured. Bones breaking, no I don’t want to do this but the Universe is forcing me to, AGONY. But now, I feel pretty damn strong because of going through it, not around it and I’m not scared of my dark ick anymore (and it was dark). I don’t have to hide from myself nor anyone else anymore. Powerful Stuff! It may next-level piss you off into rage, cause you unimaginable anxiety, confuse you to the point of immobility, and melt you into a puddle of mush & tears, but if you can find a way to get moving, keep going, get off of the fence, there IS something on the other side. I’m not gonna lie, it sucked and it sucked hard, but I’m glad it happened. And I’m thrilled I cleared this stuff out before S.N.S. Whew! Yes, I was man-handled by the Universe but I had it coming, I kept being a chicken when I really am a wolf.
I quit drinking recently enough (it became a problem for me) and am quitting smoking next week. It’s hard not to want to swim back and return to the pattern you know but I find it an extremely positive boost to the ego to continue when you know why you’re doing it. It definitely also helps to remind oneself that “you can handle this/it” as I read in the book ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ recently! 
@elizabethe – Big hug and thanks for that read! 
Heads Up from Elsa P!
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Absolutely, I can relate to this. I’ve experienced this so many times I think I’ve got the energy of this sort of thing on lock..it’s almost a kind of trickery that we pull on ourselves. It’s funny you would mention quitting drinking because that was my biggest experience with this sort of energy/panic. It’s ever so tempting to resort to old methods when you’re in the middle of fear and trying to establish un-tested “new” methods. For me it became a matter of that I knew it was just too painful to fall back, I knew what was waiting for me if I did. REPEAT,REPEAT,REPEAT. In knowing that the pain of being in the repeat cycle was worse than the fear of the unknown…that’s how I keep going forward. Also, I try and turn my fear into excitement. I remind myself I’m off on another adventure; which essentially is what it is. And when the confusion or anxiety arises it helps me to pause, breathe and change my perspective. I always tell myself, “It’s not like you’re gonna fall off the planet. Relax.”