Comments on: When The Person You’re Dating Is Not Considered “Good Enough” For You

By: SharonLynn

SharonLynn — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 19:46:59 +0000

I have generally been seen as the shadow because of a) my reserve and b) my physical disability. Until people get to know me outside of the relationship, then it usually becomes the opposite. I have a lot to offer, but it’s not surface stuff, and it takes a while to get to know me in person. Many of my exes have been much more social than me, and “shinier” at first glance.

Sun, Mars, and Neptune in Scorpio. The Sun/Mars is at the apex of a t-square between Uranus in Leo and Chiron in Aquarius.

By: Blessed Place

Blessed Place — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 15:21:34 +0000

My family made it very clear that they thought I ‘could do better’ by which they meant should, not could. My ex was from the working class, had tattoos (he’d been in the royal Navy) didn’t have a cut glass accent, and when they first met him, had a front tooth missing. And he had no money or property. They were right but the point is I had no money or property or social standing either (except in ‘bohemia’)

My First Great Love was a working class boy too, but he’d been on a scholarship to public school so had the right accent, although he also had attitude in spades, and two foot long hair. The family never met him. They were also horrified by my association with the Arab, and my Ma said she’d cut me out of her will if I married him – she;d have been all over him if she’d realised that in the extended Arab world he was all but royalty.

FGL always felt I was ‘far too good for him’ and sabotaged the relationship because of it He said so at the time – that I made him feel weak and inferior – and said so again when he apologised last summer, 40+ years after the event

I’m not usually the shadow because I was beautiful and have a ‘posh’ upper-middle class accent. It’s crazy!

By: mudlikesubstance

mudlikesubstance — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 04:00:59 +0000

we each get that we’re not good enough for eachother. Although, I’d say I’m the shadow because people who want to take advantage of him really really do not like me. Smiles, slowly. He’s the bright, shiny one. But our true friends think we’re an excellent match for eachother.

By: Megan

Megan — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 21:32:17 +0000

A few have told us both that the one isn’t good enough for the other. My man is constantly in the public eye because of his work as an artist, and siren women in his field think they’re competition. Being ‘good enough’ = being on his level of creativity.

By: Patricia

Patricia — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 14:04:20 +0000

LOL @gemini7

By: gemini7

gemini7 — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 23:08:51 +0000

Not that I am biased or anything.

By: gemini7

gemini7 — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 23:08:23 +0000

Fascinating question! I would say that, most of the time, men thought the woman was too good for me and women thought I was too good for the woman. And most of the time, the women were right.

By: MalleTelle

MalleTelle — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 21:17:33 +0000

I have a hilarious astrological example of that. I had an overwhelmingly fatal love story with a man, whose Pluto squared my Sun, and whose Sun was squared by my Pluto. That is such a difficult double-whammie that I am not yet fully ready to analize all the practical effects of it.
But one of the internal paradoxes of the relationship was this:
while many parts of our personalities were absolutely not good enough for each other, the other parts were totally out of each other’s league. There was no middle ground, there were extremities only. And it was irresistable.

By: jenfullmoon

jenfullmoon — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 19:51:20 +0000

People said this to me about my last ex. Ex is a nice person, but unfortunately has zero interest in work or academics. So he will probably spend his entire life as a slacker. They were right and I knew it even then. However, I can only choose from who wants to pick me, and he was the best of the lot. Which still wasn’t good, unfortunately…

By: music4am

music4am — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 19:45:54 +0000

I’m usually seen as the ‘darker’ part until people get to know us. Then it becomes obvious that, that’s not the case,
Angie