Saturn Aspects In Synastry – Mentor Or Oppressor?

planets saturn“My boyfriend has Saturn conjunct my Sun. Will he hold me back?”

He may but he may also be the best thing that ever happened to you. It’s true if someone has their Saturn in aspect to one of your planets (particularly the personal planets: Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars), they will have some authority over you.

They may be older, more experienced, more educated or whatever form this takes but you can’t tell from the chart how they might express this “advantage”. Will they be a mentor, an oppressor or a combination of those?

Also, this aspect works in reverse. Saturn tends to feel old and insecure at least at times so the young upstart (you) may trigger these feelings.

Ultimately the onus is on the Saturn person to act responsibly and “do the right thing”. How well people manage this can be determined by their maturity level which has very little to do with age. My 9 year old son restrains himself (Saturn) while his friend and peer oppresses (Saturn) his younger sisters so just keep that mind when you run into this situation in synastry. Are you being supported… or crushed?

Is there someone in your life who chastises you? Check and see if their Saturn is in aspect to your personal planets and tell us…

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Saturn Aspects In Synastry – Mentor Or Oppressor? — 40 Comments

  1. Not chastised, but supported. A mentor of mine had his Saturn exactly conjunct my Capricorn Moon. He supported me and I supported him. It was a very positive example of Saturn synastry

  2. My mother. Parental energy might be a perfect example of Saturn on a personal planet, I’ll have to go look. I have my Saturn right spot on the DC of another person and I have felt responsible for that person for way longer than anyone else would have done, considering how the person has acted. It’s like some kind of lock to his chart where somehow it is implied by the person and believed by me that “I owe them.” It’s not even realistic, but somehow I keep feeling that feeling of owing.

    Another time I noticed that whenever I sat near this person with their saturn on my sun, I felt faded in the background. Literally the placement of the chairs, and the persons body felt like it was cutting off my sunlight and connection to the rest of the group. My leo moon hated that, and it has something to do with why I kind of eased out of that friendship.

  3. PS. the person where my saturn is on his DC, here is something else interesting. We have had a long relationship even thought I am 13 years older than him and some people think he looks so young (I call him babyface) that I am sure there are some people who think he’s my kid. It’s a weird dynamic but, I think, an excellent example of what Saturn can do on someones angle. It can make a tie that binds forever.

    I have saturn connections with two exes and these tend to remain ‘relationships’ or some kind or another that just go on and on and on for decades. Saturn = Father Time?

  4. I’m close to someone whose sun, mercury, and venus are squared by my Saturn and his Saturn is square to my moon.

    I would hate for him to feel like I’m some kind of oppressing figure. In the past I have had the tendency to criticize but I am really doing things differently this time, so hopefully whatever negatives there are to these aspects I will be able to catch before I act them out.

  5. My boyfriend has his Saturn square my Sun. I always feel he’s my rock and then sometimes I feel he’s being overly disapproving and I just think, get your Saturn off me, and I rebel (Sun/Uranus). Manageable and positive, since I know what the deal is. (My Saturn is only a few degrees later and also square my Sun, so I may be used to the energy.)

  6. My husband and I both have Saturn in Capricorn – he also has Mars and Mercury in Capricorn. I don’t know, we will be married 20 years this June. We have taken turns supporting/chastising each other. We lived through his “mid-life crisis”, and we lived through my years of lashing out at almost everyone due to the stress of dealing with a child with special needs. The only other person in my life, who I would say was an oppressor, was my mother, and she was a Capricorn sun. We were just like oil and water – I never knew her time of birth, would love to be able to see her chart (oh well).

  7. I met a man who changed my life in so many ways. His Saturn is conjunct my Sun and my Saturn is conjunct his. A little hard to tell who learned from who. :)

  8. My six year old step son has tightly Saturn conjunct my sun. Our birthdays are one day apart so it’s conjunct his too. It is a tough tough dynamic to deal with in a step child. I think we will both be better for the experience but I would not have chosen this for either of us. I know he’ll be a wonderful adult and I believe we will have a good relationship assuming we both survive. :p

  9. wow, i just took at look at the saturns in my relationship…

    My boyfriend’s saturn conjuncts my sun and south node.
    My saturn conjunct his IC and uranus, opposite his MC, and square his asc.

    I don’t know who’s making a bigger impact on the other. But i know for a fact that his presence in my life has changed (for the better) how i think and the direction i want to go in my life. He is definitely like a mentor to me, whether he’s aware of it or not.

  10. This is interesting. Thanks, Elsa. I’ve recently entered a relationship with someone whose Saturn conjuncts my Asc exactly and my Saturn is sextile is Sun. He’s 14 years older than me, but I find myself frequently offering advice….

  11. ROFL – His saturn sits on my sun and mercury and my saturn sits on his venus.

    It’s funny because he’s my emotional safe harbor but I’m the “adult” in the relationship. Although that is changing as he partners more equally over time.

  12. HE has saturn conjunct my north node in libra. He’s been in my life for ever – being unavailable. My saturn conjuncts his chiron. I can see why he does things – but it is not what others see. Consequently i have difficulty believing what i know deep inside.

  13. Oh heck yeah. I actually started laughing when I read this. He is my strongest supporter, my best mentor, my truest friend in dark times, and my harshest critic.

    And his Saturn sits right on top of my Sun/Saturn/Ascendant smashup.

  14. Well, one of my exes, one of my ex-best-friends, and one of my best friends all have Saturn conjunct my Sun/Chiron/DC. Two of the three of those I doubt feel any responsibility towards me any more- the one time I ran into both of them they were more friendly than I figured, but then they didn’t reconnect with me later.
    Oddly enough, I am highly likely to run into the ex-friend this weekend at the same conference we saw each other at last year. No idea what to do at that- last time she greeted me with a big hug, I gave her contact info and never heard from her again. This may be a yearly weirdness to deal with.

    I suspect all three people felt responsible towards me, especially the ones that met me when I was 20 and a colossally stupid git. I definitely felt their authority because I was “young and dumb” and they were in their Saturn Returns (which explains why I got dumped by them both, I guess). They didn’t chastise me, but I was trying to hide it when I had issues so they wouldn’t know I had any.

    This hasn’t been an issue with my current friend, thank goodness. More of a mentor-ish relationship.

    The one that chastises me the most these days, I have my Saturn square her sun. And it’s my mother. Go figure. I’d blame it more on her natal Moon/Saturn and mine (though they don’t connect to each other) though.

  15. I recently came out of a relationship where I was the Saturn figure conjunct my ex’s Sun. I agree with what Elsa wrote, especially how as the Saturn figure I brought out the best in my ex whose Libra Sun really lit up my life. I also agree with the stifling feeling the Sun would feel when Saturn gets too serious, and how Saturn can feel threatened with the Sun growing without Saturn. I especially agree with Saturn having to be the responsible one and what I would like to mention is that being that figure can be draining especially if you’re female and believe relationships should be equal. What about the Sun recognizing this? The Saturn figure gets such a bad rep every time I read about Saturn conjunct Sun aspects. Nobody really likes ‘crushing’ the person they love. The question was “Will he hold me back?” and that already has such a negative connotation. Well I think relationships are 2 way and both parties have needs. The way things are phrased, the reader will be hard pressed to wonder if the Saturn figure enjoys playing that ‘father’ role or might be feeling tired of the Sun being the child. I know it all depends on different aspects in the charts but it would have been lovely if Elsa mentioned that the Saturn person has needs too and the other figure, whether it is the Sun or other personal planets, needs to remember this.

  16. Oh – wow! My husband’s Saturn in Aquarius IS conjunct my Sun; I just checked. Also almost exactly conjunct my Venus. Holy Smokes – so THAT’s why I married him, LOL! He truly has supported my efforts and progress in the area of life I love and value so highly, my work. He also does feel like “the heavy” a lot of the time, that uniquely down-dragging feeling that, yes, feels like grumpy old Saturn. This explains so, so much.

  17. Huh. My honey’s saturn opposes my Jupiter and aspects my neptune….Anything that can rein in my 4th house Jupiter which aspects 7 planets in my chart which also has a sadge stellium is a GOOD GOOD thing. And his Saturn’s aspect to my neptune which is in my first house loosely conjunct my nn helps clear the fog. Go Mr. man! No wonder you help me clarify what I want and help me make my ideas small enough to tackle.

    My Saturn opposes his Venus in Capricorn. Peals of laughter. I know he feels supported, money wise, love wise, goals wise and when it feels oppressive he tells me (Aqualicious is he). Fascinating! thanks for posting this!

  18. Ok, I wrote this somewhere else also, but had to put it in here as well. I’ve had to move a lot (military family) over the last 10yrs, so I have lots of friends spread all over the US. What I find fun/funny is that I have one best girl friend from every place, that I am still close to/in contact with. Every one of them has either their saturn conjunct or square my mercury/mars conjunction (all by 2 degrees or less).

    I have always felt very supported by these people, and only felt held back when an action I was taking was not in line with what that person knew of me (not a bad thing, kind of a double check on what you’re up to). I seem to unconsiously find these women very quickly once we settle in, and wonder if it’s not due to my Capricorn Moon (saturn ruled moon).
    Angie

  19. Ok…what if BOTH of your Saturns oppose each other in an exact cross? My Saturn (3rd) opposes his Mars (10th) his Saturn (1st) opposes my Uranus (6th). Honestly, our energy fluctuates considerably and we are very power-struggle oriented with our time, which is often exhausting! Can you ever reign that in?

  20. I have a Mars conj. Saturn and Sun with someone and he said to me: “I must like you because I keep sticking my neck out for you.” I was very comforted by that. I have never asked him to.

  21. My saturn (libra) conjuncted my ex’s sun and his saturn (sag) conjuncted my sun! ONE YEAR LATER – and I am still troubled at coming to terms with it, how it ended, and why I felt possessed by him. Now it figures! The relationship eroded my sense of self and esteem to a point where I spent the last year rebuilding it.

    What a heavy mark it left huh? Well thank you mr. Saturn. ;)

  22. My son (16) has his Saturn on my Pisces Venus. I have noted it, but not been clear as to how it operates. This I can say – he supports my creativity on all levels. We are obviously going to have a solid life-long relationship….well, as solid as Pisces allows. He helps me to manifest the things in my head – in terms of family-sustainability. When he hurts (verbally), it is very painful – unconscious and deeply personal e.g. a joke to him might diminish me completely. His Aries sun quickly de-activates, my fixicity tends to take longer to balance out.

  23. Yes, thanks Saturn! I´ll never be so naive again as to think he can be overcome… My SO has his Sun-Saturn-Mercury stellium parked right at my AC AND square my Moon-Saturn conjunction PLUS square my Uranus on the other side.
    He´s sadge with gemini AC, i´m gemini with sadge AC, so we get along fine on that part, it´s a lot of fun actually, BUT he always puts me off for the sake of work (his stellium in the 6th house), which makes me feel insecure and kind of unloved (moon saturn in pisces, me, ever ready to pout and feel misunderstood). And Uranus really gets rebellious as soon as saturnian authority is displayed…so it´s either one side or the other on my part, though at times i feel that he´s balancing the scales, but the balance is easily shaken. At best i feel very secure with him, but at the worst i´m a bunch of weird emotions i can´t really let out because when i need to (and get the courage to), he´s always somewhere else. That´s strenuous, oh my! So i´m torn between “he´s the best thing that ever happened to me relationshipwise” and “get the hell out and be free from all that again!”

    Knowing myself, this can go on for a long time and i haven´t yet figured out how to deal with it. Sometimes i´m madly in love, sometimes he just drives me up the wall. Thanks Saturn! But glad to know i´m not alone in that!

  24. I have to tell this story! There was a plumber in my building for a 6 months project…..sexy as all get out! Serious serious serious chemistry. Once we chatted a bit I found out his b-day and yup, his Saturn was exact, to the minute, on my Sun. What ended up happening was that I started to feel trapped. I really liked him, but I could never get away from him because he was always, always in my building, and they had access to the suites, so i never knew when he would be at my door. We had a good couple of get-togethers (wink wink), but then he lost interest, or freaked out maybe, and I felt rather rejected in the end. A very Saturnian experience for me for sure.

  25. I had an affair with a man who has his Saturn squaring my Mars, exact. He is 14 years my senior. He used to say that he is too old for me, and can’t keep up with my energy. But then again I really look up to him, and he doesn’t abuse his authority on me. Mostly it’s been very positive.

  26. I have 3 important Saturn aspects with a fellow I’m interested in, but the affair never seems to get off the ground beyond friendship. We do depend on each other, in different ways. I’m 9 years his senior, and we work together in the same field. I’m not his boss, and we consider ourselves to be colleagues, share insights and such, but my status is higher than his and I know he’s aware of it. That seems more to be “seen” externally than felt between us when we’re together.

    In any case, the three aspects (in order of orb tightness):

    –My Saturn conjunct his I.C. (a little over 1 degree, Koch system and Placidius both, but from the 3rd house, not 4th)
    –His Saturn squaring my Sun (just under 4 degrees)
    –Our Saturns trine each other (just under 5 degrees)

    I’d love to hear more from people who have Saturn sitting on their partern’s I.C.

    Additionally, my Asc is *just* inside his 4th house, in another super-close conjunction between Asc and I.C. I would tend to regard this as my feeling “at home” with him, or feeling like home TO him — all the more so with Karmic Saturn there. Whereas his career (MC) can/will benefit through close friendship/marriage ties with me (my Desc). I here a lot about flipped Asc/Desc partnerships, but less about Asc/Desc to MC/IC. I’ve now had the latter with BOTH my ex-husband of 20 years, and now this new fellow — although the connection of cardinal points is just closer with the second fellow! Thoughts?

  27. er… my saturn conjuncts one parent’s sun and the other’s moon… and my spouse’s mercury… and my son’s ascendant :/
    and i can see it. i mean… i love leo… when it puts effort and substance into its shining. (“lazy leo” bothers me. eg indolent hedonism. they could be creating!!)

    my spouse’s saturn conjuncts my jupiter. and, wow, does he push me to develop my perspective (and vis a vis- that conjunction opposes his jupiter…)

  28. ..and my mother’s saturn mars opposition squaring my venus/pluto opposition. that made the teen years pretty exciting…
    explains why i’m still kind of sensitive to capricorn even when i can tell i like/am growing from it…

  29. My 10th house Aries Saturn is conjunct my son’s 5th house Aries son.

    He would definitely say that I went all stiflingly parental on all the fun he wanted to have.

    It is the aspect I look to most to explain the break in our relationship.

  30. My husband’s Saturn is on my sun. It’s actually great for me. It’s hard for me to find authority figures for various reasons and he is one, in a positive way. My Saturn is opposite his sun.

    My mother has Saturn/Mars conjunct my Venus. That was ugly. I guess if I have to look for an upside, it made me disciplined and rigorous about my own looks, but mostly it crushed my spirit in my younger years, making me feel bad about how I looked and also about all Venusian things that I really enjoyed. I also had to unlearn using beauty as a weapon.

    Interestingly, my Saturn is conjunct HER ascendant, so I don’t think shitting on me made her look very good.

    Interesting stuff.

  31. My husband’s Sun is conjunct my Saturn and NN in Virgo, he calls me his rock :)to him i am dependable, reliable, solid – i do not smother him, maybe its all that Gemini (Mars, Venus) energy i have.

  32. My ex, who consistently pops back into my life every few years, has his Saturn exactly conjunct my Saturn. I know that is a generational thing, and we are close in age, but what I find interesting is that they are EXACTLY

  33. My ex, who consistently pops back into my life every few years, has his Saturn exactly conjunct my Saturn. I know that is a generational thing, and we are close in age, but what I find interesting is that they are EXACTLY conjunct down to a few seconds, but his is retrograde while mine is direct.

    So my natal Saturn aspects are set off by him, specifically Saturn square Venus and Saturn trine Mars.

    My best friend of 30+ years has her Saturn square my Sun.

    And I was amused recently when I developed an instantaneous obsession on a rock star, and found that his Saturn was exactly conjunct my Sun. Now I just have to meet him and see what happens. ;=)

  34. the scorp’s saturn opposed my own… he tried to be supportive, but there was always a chastising undertone. it was a superiority game.

    my sister on the other hand, has an interesting saturn relationship with her husband:

    her libra sun is conjunct his saturn, and his scorpio sun is conjunct her saturn….

    they support each other, in everything… i was worried when i first pulled up their synastry and saw that, but have since realized it works to their benefit.

    in fact the saturn/sun mutual reception is just the icing on their wedding cake (which I actually iced myself). both virgo rising, mars conjunct in virgo @ their AC’s, my sis’s venus is there too, along with his moon… trine his venus in cap.

    now.. with my venus/saturn conjunction, I look at their synastry and get kinda jealous at how well matched they are. she’s a lucky one my little sis…. not to mention that he is a bonafide rocket scientist to boot (designs jet propulsion systems for boeing… yep)

  35. My Saturn does square my friends Moon, so there are many situations where I find myself to be the rational one. Even for my Saturn it`s sometimes exhausting to be “the responsible adult” so often, as I`d also like to go wild from time to time. But hopefully I`m not crushing him and I think he respects my realistic support. He mentioned the song Perfect day by Lou Reed reminds him of me especially the line “You just keep me hanging on..” :) Gladly his Saturn trines my Moon which might balance our rship somehow…

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