With Saturn nearing the end of Libra, I have a number of clients who are having to consider cutting their losses in relationships where they have invested heavily. Boy is this painful.
It’s bad enough to allow yourself to realize that all you’ve invested in love and time and money has got you nothing. But on top of that, after you take the fall, you’ve got to start from scratch, with nothing.
Still, it’s the smartest move. Just ask anyone who has been in a dead-end relationship for a decade or two they can tell you all about it.
Are you faced with this situation at this time?
38 Responses to “Cutting Your Losses In Love”
OMG!!! Lol, How do u know this stuff that is in my head? I was just pondering this, and asking myself how I am going to tell my emotionally compromised husband that it is over, because he had done his damage. I have wanted it to be over for a long time now, and have told him so, but he keeps going on everyday like everything is ‘normal’ That in it’s self is not normal!
I know what it is like to start from scratch again, for I did it when I divorced my first husband. It is not easy, but it is do able! I just keep reminding myself that my light is at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for the insight and conformation of Saturns pulse, Elsa! You are awsome!
Yep, it is time to cut the cord!
Yes, I am. And like Nancy, I’ve been telling him in so many ways that it’s not working and he keeps on like he doesn’t hear me. Once I have my ducks in a row at the end of September, I am leaving.
I’ve been cut out by a few people, actually. I don’t mind. It’s WEIRD that I don’t mind. I’ve talked a lot to my Cancer best friend about this a lot, she’s known me forever. She recently told me how proud of me she was, that I wasn’t getting upset about people leaving. I’m proud of me too, but I also have my astrological knowledge to thank.
In some ways, it will make life easier…separating the wheat from the chaff. My 11th House Uranus doesn’t want friends who resent me or aren’t true to their feelings, anyway.
I have a Libra Ascendant and many planets in Libra in my first house. This Saturn transit has been one of the more difficult transits I’ve experienced in my life. I got married right before Saturn entered Libra. I spent almost a year and a half fighting with my husband about divorcing because I was so unhappy with our marital circumstances. He did not want to divorce and we were able to work things out in the past 6 months. There have been a few friends that I have cut out during this time too. I just did not like these people anymore and didn’t have very much in common. My husband and I have made two international moves since October 2010 and it’s been so hard for me to meet new people. The new “friends” in our community that I made were flaky and self absorbed. I just finally gave up trying to meet new people for now. I really feel like things are starting to ease up a bit for me now as we get closer to Oct. 4. I feel very optimistic about the future and I feel like my marriage is more solid but boy has it been a huge struggle to get to this point.
PS – I actually discovered Elsa on YouTube because she’d made a video about the effects of Saturn in Libra on relationships. I was trying to analyze my marriage from an astrological point of view and her advice about how relationships are being affected by the current Saturn transit really hit home with me.
I’m not, but my best friend is. She’s just on the verge and it’s driving me nuts! I wanna say, ‘dump him already’ but of course I can’t. grrrrrrr
No, for which I am very grateful. We have our problems and challenges, but we are facing them and working on solutions together, so I think we’ll be ok.
I recently became of aware of the great breadth of mental illness afflicting a person I thought I loved. I was stuck for an epoch thinking I’d caused this person deep suffering. I discovered instead that I didn’t matter to him in the least and he was not worth a single moment I willingly spent. He has greatly enjoyed torturing me in my ignorance, using my weaknesses against me. He treats other human beings as means to an end. How I ever saw beauty in him enough to love is now beyond my grasp.
Such is life.
The inherent banality of evil and normalization of the unimaginable; this was saturn’s lesson for me. I failed to understand why an average person would waste time spreading pain in an already dark world.
I can only feel relieved knowing that I am not him or any of his consorts.
As an HR person, I am processing a lot of tax and benefits paperwork for employees who are divorcing. One of my best friends had her girlfriend leave her and move out last week – three days before her birthday!
My SO ended our five year relationship last summer. It hurt, of course, but I am grateful that he brought feeling to the surface that I’d buried after my divorce. We both have Venus/Uranus conjunct and our relationship was very Uranian. It started with a BANG and ended with me having no clue it was coming, but kind-of glad he did it so I didn’t have to. Neptune was dancing on my moon through most of our relationship, so, for me, it was hard to identify my feelings. In retrospect, I was just ready when he showed up. Too bad, though. I still think we made a great couple. We were very compatible; never fought. My moon sits on his North Node – I don’t think this chapter is over, but it definitely will never be a “normal” relationship. Do Venus Uranus people have normal relationships? He’s a Cancer being battered by the Pluto opposition to his Sun/Venus/Uranus. I’m used to being alone and I’m OK with that. I’d just as soon have a good friend as a sweetheart – I have lots of air. I have no water planets, so Saturn in Scorpio may help me balance. I’m looking forward to the Coliseum on that since it will be transiting my sixth house through most of 2014. I’m already working to improve my health in anticipation. At my age I can’t afford to be complacent.
Unfortunately, I have been holding on to a one sided relation for a year and a half longer than needed. I have finally got the moxy to leave it. I keep thinking, at least I didn’t marry him. But @ 43 that was my first love, and now I have to start all over. I am so fearful that at now 45 years old, I will never find love again. And by the way, I loved him, he SAYS he loves me, but his actions are not that of love, respect, nor compassion. That cheating butthole made me feel less than. I am accomplished, beautiful, in great shape and capable. NO MORE… keep me in your thoughts as I deal with the pain of leaving this lying, cheating, man whore!
I am watching my best friend try to leave her husband. I let go of a relationship, because I had outgrown it. I am ready to embrace whatever comes. I am feeling pretty fearless about it. I intentionally cleared and cleaned everything that wasn’t right for me. I am ready for amazing things to happen. No one is EVER to old to find love. Elsa, it is crazy how astrology works. I have been paying attention, so I can be ready for change!
I am going through it and its a painful I have never experienced before because the heartbreak isn’t romantic at all. After 3 years of almost totally raising a g-daughter for my son and his very young wife while they partied and rarely checked in the new deal has been….do what I want when I want or you wont see your g-daughter.
After almost totally financially caring for her, and loving her like my own I have finally had to draw a line in the sand and say grow up ~ You are not my boss and I will not do as you say. Of course they took her. The hardest part is how painful it is for her. She is having some trouble adjusting her little Aries sun Scorp moon to it all and is daily asking where we are.
I have never been though anything more painful in my life and while I did this to help my (gem)son and have always loved him more than my own life, I am feeling bitter toward him and really don’t want him in my life for a while. I just can’t take the verbal beat down anymore, the using, the allowing his young wife to do the same. I feel used and thrown away. And, I miss that sweet girl so much that its hard to breathe some days.
This home is filled with all the signs that a child lives here. I didn’t want more than the two children I had but was glad to welcome that little soul into our lives to keep her from having a shitty life with her parents.
They won’t let us see her. I have no way to explain that to her …she is just 4 years old. I have to say that the pain is so great its almost worth putting up with him and his wife. (they drink a lot) I did for a long time. But then there is this part of me that said, enough! You are not going to continue to take and name call when we do nothing but give.
It’s very quiet here without her. I know she is missing us. I can feel her. I know she has cried about it. We took a two month break and when she came back she told me she though I died. (imagine a 4 year old saying such a thing) Every time after that when she would visit, when it was time to go home she would cry and start to worry when she would be able to come back.
I am very well aware she is not my child. Feels like a death in the family none the less and I mourn it every day.
If I had known in the very beginning that this would be the end result I would have never become involved….my head says that but my heart says I never would have let that little girl be neglected no matter what price I had to pay in the end. There is no way to recover from this that I can see. I just have to keep living and working till the pain gets less.
I never would have thought that my beautiful granddaughter would be in a hostage situation…that is for sure. When I say this I pray you don’t judge me for it…I am doing my very best not to hate my son….
That’s my Libra in Saturn story. There is no way to fix what has happened. And I am not sure when I will ever see that child again. I have to move through it. Make her parents be responsible and just go on with this giant HOLE…and now I get to move on with 5 planets in Scorpio into Saturn in Scorpio.
I do NOT feel sorry for myself. I am so blessed beyond measure in so many ways. This however I will never recover from.
No, this isn’t my situation at all. I am at the beginning of a new relationship that started with Saturn in Libra 
I understand Saturn IS IN LIBRA (not for the first time)
How many of you left you husband and had a happy life after that?? I really want to know!!
It will get better for some time and the worst is yet to come. If you have experienced, It’s in the sign of balance,and have you really paid whats it’s asking you to do ?? Or you just did as you were forced to do?
The sky is funny and mysterious Make a choice which is really true to your self and not for the public to praise and live in a constant upbeat about it.
I(virgo) have a huge struggle in my relationship, started since 2008. I still now even not sure how my relationship is. Or does it call a relationship?? It was worst when Mars was present at Virgo for 8 months. Still now surviving with lots of painful memories, betrayal pictures, hurtful words…. list is very very long. Yea, still now I’m in the same relationship that I have invested since 12 years, a long time. But I’m cautious a lot, learned a lot from my Saturn in Virgo and then Libra. Don’t know what is waiting for me for the next 3 years Saturn in Scorpio.
Thanks for posting this. Maybe I am finally growing up. I don’t know. Saturn in Libra has been interesting – it is getting ready to cross my IC. At least I am paying more attention to Saturn these days.
Scorpioandproud: I really feel for you and for your granddaughter. You have done the ‘right thing’ however painful it is. My feeling is they will get bored in time of having all the responsibility and things will ease. And even if not, this little girl will never forget her love for you, nor yours for her – it will be a refuge for her always in her mind and heart, until she can come to you of her own free will
As for my own relationships: Saturn in Libra has been tough. Most of my friendships have fallen away – death, distance, lack of interests in common these days, and so forth… time takes its toll. I’m too tired (I have ME) to put the work into anything which isn’t truly rewarding, or which is false in any way
I was in touch with a former love, the great love of my later years, through 2009. We were close all during my forties, then apart during my fifties (he’s an attractive, charismatic, selfish Leo who’s ten years younger than me). At the end of 2009 we fell back into bed… But over the following year things went the same way they always had in the past – he doesn’t seem to have learned a damn thing – and it imploded again for all the same old reasons in early 2011.
Just recently he’s been trying to get back together yet again – that’s almost 25 years after we met. His chart is very lit up by this Saturn transit, and Pluto is almost on his Juno – and he’s moving into his second Saturn Return.
I know the chances of ever having another relationship are almost zero – I’m 66 and have lost my looks. I’m stuck somewhere that it’s hard to meet people who appreciate me.
But I know I can’t carry on letting this man give me the run-around and make me unhappy… so I’ve been hard nosed and told him ‘It’s too late’. It’s a very hard thing to do, given the emotional and sexual vacuum in my life, but it’s totally Saturn in Libra … and understanding the astrology of what’s been going on helps enormously to focus my mind on what I have to do
This Saturn transit has been moving back and forth between my Chiron in Libra and my Jupiter/Juno exact, and will pass over that conjunction again before it moves into Scorpio.
I was on the fence for so long with Saturn in Libra and maybe before. Finally I decided that I had a good man but my life was not entirely what I wanted it to be. So I took responsibility for my own happiness instead of blaming him. I worked hard and got a major promotion so now there is a little extra money for fun. Also, instead of moping about his schedule, I spend a couple of evenings with my girlfriends when he has to work late.
@Blessed Place
(((((sending you the tightest of hugs)))))
Hi, I have a Libra sun plus 4 other planets in Libra. Mercury,Venus,Jupiter and Uranus. Most in my 7th/8th house. Im having an issue with a dear gf who I feel is slowly disappearing from my life. But its not affecting me too much.
I’ve noticed a wonderful shift these last 5 weeks in the flow of life and love. So many amazing things have happened in life and in love. I think about something or someone or situation and it happens.
Im truly enjoying this Saturn In libra transit
“..at the time
that we met
we were whole
then we peeled off
piece by piece of our souls
we were wrong to stay this long
let me go
let me fall to the ground..”
Ane Brun “The Fall”
Scorpioandproud, that’s a very sad story. Did you know that grandparents have rights and can have visitation restored to them by a court? (it varies from state to state in U.S.)
I remember how heartsick I was as a child when my grandmother would leave to visit her other sets grandchildren on the west coast.
I think my grandmother was more of a mother to me than my real one.
Dear Scorpioandproud, Hang on and pray that things will work out for all involved. I am close to someone who has a very similar problem. Her grandchildren are being used as pawns by their mom to squeeze money out of her and her own child has been thrown out. I do believe that eventually the grandchildren will wind up with my friend becaue the parents are unfit. It is so sad how people who are suffering themselves make everyone around them suffer, too.
Dear BlessedPlace: I know what it’s like to be up there in age, not only tired but tired of the same old games. Are you really stuck where you are? Where, geographically, would you like to be?
@Scorpioandproud: What a cruel thing to do to your own child and to you!!! I don´t understand people that have kids when they obviously do not want to take care of them It would have been more honest for you son and his woman to keep on partying and never had a child! I hope they come into reason and let you keep your contact with you g -daughter.
As for me— When Saturn first entered Libra I had recently cut my looses with a S.O.
During all this time I learned that I am enough with myself and happy while unpartnered. I dated guys and it was and it´s still an opportnity to learn set boundaries, healthy limits and negatiate with them. I proud of myself since no matter how gougeus, sexy, hot, interesting or inteligent the guy was. If they didn´t make up for it, they were screwed.
But Saturn in Libra applies for all kind of relationship and I have learned a lot about boundaries and equal give and take relationships within family members, co-workers, colleagues, friends, bestfriends AND MYSELF.
I enjoy to have a man next to me, because I love men and I have a strong sex drive.
I am good on the relationship front, but my friend is completely at a ‘dead end’ with his now ex. It’s on and off so much that ‘dead’ needs a new meaning. I would like to suggest becoming his ‘mock’ girlfriend just because he such a great person, and truly deserves to be loved properly. I can only hope this will finally be severed.
My thoughts are with you today after reading that. I am sending you all the loving energy I can.
I should have specifed that I was referring to ScorpioandProud
Very independent, but still learning what I want in a relationship based on everyone else’s relationships.
I still have about 7 degrees in Libra to figure it out.
Hi Elsa! I love this blog very much but this is my first time posting.
I am looking forward to the Saturn in Scorpio but since I was born with Saturn in Libra, I’ve been experiencing the severing of some relationships. Which is good for me but I’m having a very hard time with the letting go. I think because of my inability to let go is why I keep going backwards and repeating the same mistakes with the same men. I’m tired of feeling like I’m in a re-run.
I am going through this.. but I watched a video where Elsa says to be careful of just giving up on a relationship i.e. running away instead of actually learning the lessons, as this will just mean you will get into the same situation again??! I am now so confused with what to do!.. Stick at it and try to work it out even though it will probably fail anyway? im wary of soldiering on with this when it’s at a juncture where i have the strength to end it. but im wary of ending it if i havent learnt the lesson. With Pluto in Libra in the 7th and Saturn in Virgo in the 7th, is my path that of transformation through relationships, not through hiding in singledom?! argh 
with a friendship. but she’s dying and i need to figure the necessities of compassion, regardless of how little i have left to invest in the friendship itself. don’t want her to be alone. no matter how little i may feel i owe at this point. i guess maybe i feel i owe it to what i used to love.
hard to wrap my head around.
I’m a Scorpio in a ltr with an Aquarius-Pisces cusp man, with whom I have a son. I want things to work, but the lies, cheating and irresponsibility have taken their toll. We have an appt. Fri. to see a therapist. I hope we make it to Friday as a couple.
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oh yes. about three days ago, i told my long term boyfriend, who is currently living over 1000 miles away, that i needed to end our relationship. we have been together for nine years and, at times, our relationship was a whirlwind of passion and experience. Through good and bad. But we are different people now, and we need to honor each other’s authenticity.