I had a client this morning, up against a man who is doing her wrong. The thing is, his very version of events is feasible / believable which puts her in a very difficult spot. Basically, being right or righteous., does not mean you win even if you get a judge involved. It’s a very hard lesson to learn.
I have suffered this myself, many times. If someone tells a believable lie, then they’re likely to benefit, at least in the near term. This leaves the injured party to transcend or go crazy which is never a good option.
I’ve observed that attempts to correct something like this are typically futile at best. It’s also possible they backfire and increase your problem. At this point, I’ve learned (Saturn) to let go (Neptune) and let the universe straighten it out.
I understand it may be years before this occurs, and a person get their comeuppance. It may also take years for me to understand or can appreciate how the believable lie benefited me.
I think this is very difficult to do, to have faith, but the rewards are in proportion.
Have you ever told a believable lie, or had someone tell one about you? What happened?
34 Responses to “When A Lie Is Believable”
I have this happen to me allll the time and if you transcend your knee-jerk reaction and look closely, you’re very likely to see a glorious benefit. It’s quite amazing. Probably qualifies as an phenomenon.
I’ve had people tell me believable lies, yes. I didn’t believe them anyways. It took a lot of faith and confidence in my ability to see through them and stand by my observation/conclusion/decision. It’s hard to do that when the lie is so believable, always second guessing myself.
Elsa: “It may also take years for me to understand or can appreciate how the believable lie benefited me.”
That’s the hardest part for me, it’s the most challenging. Trying to find the benefit to me, this most often takes an outside perspective for me to understand. Then assimilating that info is a whole nother story,
Angie
This post made me think. Two people have told me things I believed, but were lies. At the time, and over time, since I have known these people for decades, I believed them because I had no solid sense of ‘self’. I needed to believe them for lack of that internal knowing.
Both these people have given me the gift of discernment through letting go. The first people I have known since birth, she’s a woman with firm and solid values for herself, and others. One too many times her values for me just didn’t fit. I kept trying to make me fit, but finally grew into myself without her.
The second person was managing my finances. When the stock market began to splatter I saw a different picture of things. She called me “Chicken Little” because I said “The Sky is Falling.” We ran for cover, bought a tin of silver, and built a tiny chicken coop-size life.
I have no ideas about what these two people say about me, but I do know what I say about them.
I think that when someone tells you believable lies and you get hurt as a result, I’m guessing like this woman, her first/immediate benefits are
A) her investment in this man doesn’t have to continue, so this is saving her time and energy and
B) it’s giving her a better sense of when someone is doing this to her
which, to me, having “B” is something powerful…
Elsa, sadly yes. I’ve been there. Lived with an abusive ex whose face to the outside world was that of a quiet, polite man, but at home where no one else could see, he was a monster. He was even clever enough to close the windows in the house when he would start one of his “sessions” so that no neighbors or passersby could over hear. People believed him that I was the “problem,” until the night his confidence in this area became so great, he hit me in the head, I quietly called the cops, and when they showed up and saw his state of agitation, the gig was up. Free of that nightmare now, but it was awful living in a small town where everyone viewed him as a gentle, nice man.
This is exactly what I’ve tried to do over the past seven years. And you’re right, it does take years.
The reason I didn’t try to retaliate in kind was different though; than Saturn Neptune. This is a Libra Scorpio thing. It’s a hard discipline — but *things you do not add energy to* do not survive because this is what they’re feeding on.
This is absolutely at the center of my tactical structure. I look at a situation and ask it what I really want from it ( Scorpio). I analyze and weigh my various options in response ( Libra). And my Sadge always adds that the outcome should be for the highest good.
I realize I was finally able to fully manage dodgy energy for the highest good — and also for the benefit of others ( eighth house) in the face of most conflict or emotionally criminal behavior.
but when it’s you who’s truly wounded because you were fooled, or when someone is *really after you* on a psychic level you can sometimes take a serious hit and get wounded. That takes some time to sort out. But eventually if you stay to your original battle plan you will see the exact result you were moving towards.
I wish I could see the glorious benefit to this at some point though. Seems like all that ever happens is I get screwed around, and that is *tiring* for Libra. I would really like to get to that glorious benefit immediately.
I admit there are times it is hard to see a benefit. For example, there are people doing life in prison (or worse), because someone told a believable lie. But it’s also true that once you have a knack for this, it can save you a lot of pain.
I share your views but it is pretty difficult to follow this attitude when concerns career- work-money.
It might be for the benefit of all in the systemic expense of someone else, which turn him in a victim.
I am pisces with asc sagittarius with mars currently transiting my mc- I am attempting to convince myself to pull back during this period but I am aware that a controlled demise/transfer is on the way if I do so (accepted their case) or it may happen in any case if I fight back now (generate anger).
What do you think?
Elsa: “But it’s also true that once you have a knack for this, it can save you a lot of pain”.
See, I know on some very deep level that this is exactly the case. Why else would I fight so hard to find the benefit 
Angie
Welcome, beta. I am sorry but I can’t quite follow what you are asking. It reads like code and I can’t crack it.
Yes I have been told believable lies. Some about myself. Those have led me to take a good look and discern what IS true and what isn’t. I think I am an honest judge of myself. This helps me get to know deeper parts of myself or face things I have not before. I have also been told believable lies about situations, that later when the truth came out, did drive me crazy. I felt Gaslighted and furious as to why this person who said they were my friend would have the compulsion to hurt me that way…and if they weren’t trying to exactly hurt me, how they couldn’t see that it could hurt me worse if they didn’t tell the truth in the first place.
Hi Elsa,
Sorry for not being clear- is this mercury? It concerns lies from my direct superiors in my working environment for my work which are believable and accepted from the senior management for ‘the good of all’ (translation: the image of team). This has put me in a victim place which eventually will lead to my transfer. If I speak up (we are going a review phase now), this will make them angry…
Many thanks for your thoughts
beta, it does sound as if you are being sacrificed for the team. If going underwater to drown is truly unavoidable then keep your eyes open during the underwater part of this and see what you can see. There could be a piece you would not get any other way. I don’t know your transits but you may be taken to slaughter so you find your inner resources. You may lose this job because it’s at the next one that you’ll meet your best friend or the love of your life.
You see what I am doing here. It’s faith.
Here’s an example: people tell lies about me all the time. I am talking about my blog here. People tell lies, intended to undermine me, some believe the lies.
I could get very upset about this thing I can’t control but what I’ve learned is that what happens when this happens, is all the weak minds are washed out, and it improves the site.
As another example, some years ago someone discredited me by saying I was an alcoholic. I am a teetotaler in real life but that person was believed because once someone thinks you are an alkie – well all alcoholics deny they have a problem.
That person got what they wanted from this but by doing nothing, I got what I wanted to, without lifting a finger.
Now if I were to focus on the injury in either of these examples, I would miss the clear benefit.
Instead it’s yes, you got me…and it worked out beautifully for both of us.
~~
Now I have to go back to work because of this:
http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/daunting
((((thank you)))
I have been dealing with this for 8 years now. I have learned that telling the truth just seems to make it drag on longer. It’s like fighting against the quicksand just sinks you further in.
God will just have to handle it. I don’t know what else to do short of praying against the person. I don’t want to do that because my grandmother wherever she is would be disappointed in me.
Tam, I am in a similar fix, but for a shorter period of time – five years of lies at this point.
I tell the truth when confronted about this which is usually every few months. I always think the truth is obvious but invariably the lie sticks.
It’s so bad, it was either transcend or commit suicide. I chose the former.
I don’t really care what happens to the liar, good or bad – just stay away from me.
I’m sorry you are going through that Elsa. 
I try to cheer myself sometimes by hearing Winston Churchill in my head saying “we shall never surrender”
Interesting. I don’t care about this lie, Tam, because this is the lie that taught me what I know on this topic.
I mean, I have Capricorn. We care about about our reputation, but between Pluto’s transit of my 10th house 20 years ago (wiped me out) and this – I don’t have fears around this for the most part.
I do have fears around really big stuff, like being falsely convicted of something and sent to jail but if you want to say I am alcoholic or a bitch, be my guest.
I will say because I see so much of this, I really steer clear of people who do this because they are very dangerous when they get in the territory of accusing you of something criminal.
It’s been awhile, but I once wrote pretty extensively about how I would handle myself if I were a man. Basically, I would have clear consent before I got in a bed with anyone because I am just the kind of person who would be accused of rape.
I cannot count how many times I have been falsely accused or mistaken as someone doing something I am not doing. So what I am saying is, I am not afraid of my character being slandered, it’s the big stuff I look out for and when something like that happens, I will bury your ass or die trying.
I don’t like that our culture lets people who give false testimony slide. People are incredibly forgiving of this but it’s only because they’ve not suffered a false accusation.
Like I said above, there are people who are locked up because of a believable lie and people who have been tortured and put to death over this kind of thing. Most of us though, can recover quickly from something like this, depending on our method of dealing with it.
Yes I totally agree. For a year or more I kept receipts in a shoebox as a timeline of sorts to prove where I was on what day and time.
My hope is that Saturn between now and October will end it for me. We shall see. It’s like my new normal. It will feel odd to be 100% rid of her if there is such a thing.
Tam, I keep evidence too but I also don’t trust it because the evidence is already towering on my side of the story and it’s completely discounted.
I also know of a man who was falsely accused of sexual abuse. It’s so damn scary. It was a total witch hunt and the only thing that stopped it was a sane cop. The cop looked at the situate and could see the claim was bullshit, so he stopped this ball rolling. But I have never forgotten this because that train was rolling and had he not been there to stop it, I could easily see how this guy could have gone to jail.
Nothing happened to the girl, of course. The situation was just seen as hazy…the man has never been around a girl since – I don’t think he will ever take the chance again in his life.
All you have to do is tell someone predisposed to thinking men suck that a man sucks and that’s it. That’s all it takes.
This is what I mean about weak minds. I don’t want to be around them because this is the kind of thing that can happen.
Yes–I had a legal case that dragged on for about 7 years. To make a long story short, the guy lied, won, and I got screwed, blued and tattooed. I am still owed money from 2 separate government agencies. One only owes me $175 but threatened to sue me for 7 years worth of legal bills if I tried to get it back. LOL. The other agency is behind bullet proof glass. There is a reason why. They drive people over the edge into the abyss.
In hindsight I am happy to have had the experience–which probably sounds crazy to most people but it’s the truth. I am lucky I didn’t die in that accident and the end result is I place a higher value on my own life.
I wish I could believe the truth. The gospel truth right there in my face ~ see it for myself truth. Can’t. So no way to believe a believable lie. I think everyone is full of shit.
This is not a good thing! If you don’t believe anything anyone says….who do you trust. Oh, that’s right, I don’t trust anyone. (not completely anyway) How sad is that.
I’d like to thank my parents for that. They still can’t be trusted. And they were only together till I was 8 months old…. and separately they can’t be trusted.
I had one person I could trust in 50 years and she passed when I was 35….my Grandmother.
So, I could never believe a believable lie. There is no such thing for me. …..((issues)) haha
I really believe that if you trust anyone completely you already have one foot on the banana peel….
The worst times are when the person actually believes the lie, as do people who support them. I walk away very battered and bruised in the process. One time, I ran into a grade A sociopath who managed to twist every little thing and dumped it onto me to take responsibility. Of course, everyone thought he was charming, nice, and much better for their future needs, so I was the vicious, manipulative bitch even though I told the truth. After that, I learned it was a gift to be able to walk away from things like that.
The part I hate the most is that I feel like I’ve compromised myself by taking the easy road, but there wasn’t really an option at the time.
People lose their children like this too.
Though how I’ll never understand since I’ve seen CPS give kids back to psychotics who kill them later…
My son’s father lied to a judge in a town I had never stepped foot in and was able to get a restraining order against me. I didn’t take it seriously at the time, but it became an integral loop-hole that eventually cost me custody of my son during the school year. To this day, I don’t know what he said about me, and it’s been extremely difficult to transcend. Now, after 20+ years I can see the benefits, but it still leaves me wondering how different things could have been. I sometimes think that this is my ‘unhealable wound’.
(((CArRiE)))
That’s what I am talking about and it’s very rare you see the consequences a person who does something like this suffers.
They just keep on with their lie and generally can go a very long way on the thing. This is why you’ve got to come up with something if you’re on the ‘lied about” end of this equation.
Another thing I do is put it all in the same pot as being called a bitch or whatever. It’s one person’s opinion and if some agree, so what?
I have learned this from my husband, the only people who really matter in life are those who stick with you. The others are all water under the bridge, headed out to the big sea.
This really is true. You friend, your partner, your ally, your child, your mentor, your whoever that opts to stick with you. These are the people who have true meaning in your life.
I’ve had people believe the believable lie and this was when Saturn was in Leo and everyone thought about themselves and need to acquire the nice life… Saturn through Virgo can see through the crap but understands the restrictions in not constantly running my mouth… Saturn in Libra now realises that these relationships are now out of balance and those relationships are not ever going to be put back into balance and go deeper for Saturn in Scorpio so it’s time to bid goodbye. It isn’t my loss but their own… that’s the lesson that shall come in less than 28 years. People have picked their sides and will live with the decisions on their conscience. I know and have faith that the universe will come good.
Thanks Elsa. I not only appreciate the hug, but the space to talk about something that I rarely have an opportunity to do without risking harsh judgement.
starkttn, just had that conversation a few days ago. Believing the lie . . . it’s a matter of convenience especially when the lie supports what somebody wants to believe. This is totally wacko.
As a general rule, I’m pretty good at sniffing out lies. I can tell if you believe what you said to me or not.
But I did have a friend who got engaged to (and sadly married) a fellow who turned out to be a compulsive liar. Even I bought what he said for the most part–he was quick on the response and he had conviction behind what he said. I think he just believed his own lies, really. Very strange.
I always know when they’re lying and sometimes I play along to see how far they’ll take it or if they know I know.
I would hi5 someone who could pull the wool over my eyes. That’s not tempting fate, that’s a challenge.
pluto sq asc 
As far as those monsters in sheep’s clothing who use covert aggression and intimidation to manipulate loved ones while maintaining that squeaky image at any cost – ladies (and gentlemen) do not second guess yourselves. Scream that sh*t from the mountaintops. Other people’s judgment is of no consequence to you – if they pass a judgment they’re the ones who need to check themselves. What I’ve observed (which I know isn’t true in every circumstance) is if you’re open with this stuff the support tends to flood in from the most unexpected places – exactly what this kind of predator is afraid of.
Heads Up from Elsa P!
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People are telling them about me now. It seems, just living as best I can is all there is to do. And letting go, everyday letting go.