There is very little I won’t compromise around for a friend. However, there are a few things I hold very dear and if I’m crossed in one of these areas, I don’t recover. I lost a friend over something like this recently and the other night I was emailing, Ben (close friend for 30 years), when something hit me like a brick.
Ben is a Scorpio with an Aries Moon and an Aquarius rising. He bold and insightful and about a dozen years ago, I asked him what he thought of a certain situation. I’d known him for close to 20 years at that point and I had asked him to share his view on things, countless times. So it was nothing out of the ordinary when I asked him to share his sense but what he said to me at that point, floored me. It was by far the worst thing anyone had ever said to me in my life. It was so bad, I asked him if he realized what he had just said, and also who he was talking to.
“Yes, I know what I said and yes I know who I am talking to. You asked me what I thought and I told you the truth because it’s you, Elsa. When have you ever wanted me to lie to you?”
I sat there stunned for a minute but I agreed with him. I did ask, I did want to know and if the answer was horrifying, too bad! We got off the phone.
What, Ben told me that day turned out to be correct. This was not verified for about seven years but eventually he was proven correct and the fact he made the statement so many years prior, softened the blow when the hammer finally fell. It still split my skull but it did not crack it wide open.
So what hit me the other night, is had I not swallowed what, Ben said that night…had I beat him up and berated him for saying what he did, Ben and I would not be friends today. Really. Because if I had punished him for his honest answer to my direct question, what the hell am I going to do next? And why talk to me at all? As Scorpio likes to say, ‘Don’t cast your pearls before swine”.
Have you ever shot the messenger?