Yesterday I asked people if they were prejudiced by their experiences. I was prompted to write that after I read a remark, the flavor of which it’s very common to see. A person made a statement characterizing all their relationships with women (it could have been men) as difficult. They used astrology to explain this…hard aspects to their Moon or something and my first thought was to wonder how much of this was self-fulfilling prophecy.
For example, I am a woman and I would be loathe to interact with this person because I don’t want to be the next person in line to fulfill their negative expectations which totally discount me as an individual.
I have a lot to say on this subject, surprisingly. It’s an area I’ve explored extensively over more than three decades and I began adapting my life based on my findings about twenty years ago. One thing I can tell you is that your positive expectations (provided you have them) tend to be self-fulfilling and I’ll give you an example.
When I was young, I had this freakish experience with an older black man. I was scared to death of this guy, he was about 7 1/2 feet tall or at least he seemed to be, to my preteen-aged self. But I got on with him and I have gone on throughout my life to very reliably hit it off with older black men.
This pattern was so pronounced, eventually I analyzed it. I became convinced my experience occurred most likely, because every time I ran into an older black man, I subconsciously recalled my good experience with that first man in my life. Consequently, I’m pretty sure I light up like a Christmas tree when I see someone who fits this profile and since I look so friendly and accepting…well kit leads to good things happening.
It follows that your negative expectations also get reinforced. I can tell you for sure, a woman who does not get along with women is very easy to identify in nature. Your hard heart / prejudice against your sisters (yourself) is right there on your sleeve. The same is true for a man who does not like or respect women, just as your average older black man can see that I think he’s cool, before we even speak because it’s written all over my face.
Do you have negative expectations of certain groups of people? Do you have positive expectations of other groups? How does this impact your day to day life?
pictured – that’s LB Meridith, a Capricorn, who was a very good friend of mine. You can read a cool story about him here.
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