Back in October, I met a Virgo man. We got along wonderfully and I could tell we really liked each other; we talked everyday. As the time passed he called less frequently and backed away and when I questioned him, he said it was because he liked me.
When I like a person I want to talk to them more not less, and I got upset and told him that. After that, things were not the same. Two months ago I told him I thought I was falling in love with him and have not heard from him since. I have tried calling him and he has completely ignored everything.
I am trying to find out what happened and get closure. Did I scare him off? Or is he thinking about it and will he come back? He never officially broke off the relationship.
I am sorry this man’s mixed signals set you on a path to confusion, but at this point his signals are abundantly clear. He is not interested. And further, you are not going to get “closure” because he is not going to give it to you. The reason being that he’s not capable of giving it to you.
He is also not capable of telling you that he doesn’t like you, that he likes someone else better, that he changed his mind or whatever else his reason for pulling away may be. And if you have even a modicum of class (he doesn’t), then you will respect his shortcomings and relent with contacting him and/or professing your love. And beyond that you can learn from this. Because these are facts:
When it comes to relating to others, people have varying levels of skill. And there is nothing you can do about their mastery on this front. But there is plenty you can do about yourself and your post suggests you can use some help on this front and that I have.
Some years ago I had a friend who had an MO that was similar to yours. That is, when a man pulled away from her, she chased him even harder. And she never caught anyone doing this and eventually it caused her enough pain she went to therapy. And the therapist, realizing she had no idea how to read a situation like this or where to put the lines, offered this advice:
She told her when a man (or a woman or whoever) pulled away from her, she should immediately pull twice as far back as they had. She explained if the person was interested, this would bring them back very directly. And if they did not come back she’d already have some distance, never mind she would be spared the heartache and humiliation a person goes through when they finally realize they are chasing someone who is trying to get away.
This worked for my friend. It changed her life and I think it will help you too.
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