Love And Relating To Others With Venus In Aspect To Neptune
Astrology in real life.
miatopia watched this old video, People Who Marry You When They Don’t Even Like You and started a thread to discuss the qualities of Venus/Neptune people on the boards. I have Venus in aspect to Neptune. I have written a lot about it over the years. I’ve written about the sensitivity to music and the deception which is perpetrated by the Venus Neptune person as often as they are preyed upon, though they’re usually more comfortable in the victim role then they are with owning their side of things, assuming they can see their side which often they can’t.
I’m posting because one things has never come up on this blog. It’s the way relationships (Venus) can drain (Neptune) a person who has this in their chart. People can really wipe you out and you pray to escape them.
Barring a strong Mars or a streak of candor (I have these), the Venus Neptune person is not likely to tell you how they feel. They conceal things from the other, as a matter of routine; particularly things that might be hurtful to you.
Instead, Venus Neptune will avoid you. They will go into hiding, or they may escape into drink or drugs, all to get away from the other for reasons they may not even be able to define. It is not uncommon to see a normally hearty person, all of the sudden damned near disabled. It’s because the tide went out, that’s why. This is disturbing as hell on both sides of the equation.
The person in relationship with the Venus Neptune person in all likelihood has no idea their partner is struggling, and the Venus Neptune person WILL struggle to remain an ideal. Meanwhile, they’re melting and if it goes on long enough and Venus Neptune is badly drained, she may avoid you for days or weeks, months or even years.
Pisces, satori can attest to this in my case. There are times when I avoid talking to here because I feel so drained. Annalisa, also a Pisces, provides a more extreme example. I avoided, Annalisa for 8 years once. She hurt me and that was that.
With Venus Neptune, you’re dealing with a mermaid of sorts. It’s a struggle to be on land and act like it’s normal. We tend to hang around people who are attuned to nuance because of this. I need people who can see when I’m beginning to fade and who are willing to look the other way while I slip under the water and renew myself.
Who can relate?
pictured – Fair Rosamund, 1854, by Arthur Hughes. National Gallery of Victoria, Melbourne
49 Responses to “Love And Relating To Others With Venus In Aspect To Neptune”
Yeah, I relate.
Having a strong 8th house amplifies this for me. The Venus/Neptune drained feeling plus the will to amputate and reform.
I have one friendship I just left out of sheer exhaustion six years ago that I’d like back, but I think it’s too late.
Wow I have mars neptune and venus neptune and I can relate. In fact I’ve been feeling this of late. Im incredibly drained of people and the tide is out for me. My 8th house and scorpio add to this too, similar to kr. Drained then ampute, expel and rejuvenate.
I’ve been recharing from alot relationship/friendships, I havent fully amputed because there is an exchange of energy that is beneficial but for now its out of balance and I needed to form a boundary so I’ve left the scene and taken a step back.
:/ this is exactly how I feel at times and I am working hard to always be honest with myself. I get lost in music, start making crap up in my head and then get mad at people for not living up to what I thought in my head… but on the other end…I’m soooo super sensitive to peoples feelings… i can almost become them (i mimic spontaneously and super well) and i’m left confused because I never know when i am experiencing my feelings or someone else’s feelings. The people I love get upset because I withdraw… I literally feel like I’m drowning in someone else’s feelings and sometimes it so intense that I can’t even get out of bed. Sometimes I really feel like I’m going nuts, how can I start feeling what someone else is feeling from nowhere? It’s so annoying. I have Venus/Moon/Mars (Pisces-11th house) squaring Neptune in the 8th house…
Venus is on my 12th house cusp, but still on the side of my 11th. But this sounds spot on for how I feel most of the time. With my sun, merc & mars all in the same sign and merc/mars in my 1st, I try to work from there to be as straight and seen as me as possible (if that makes any sense). But there’s always a part of me (sun & venus? in 12th) that just is not seen or understood. It’s very taxing and draining, I need private time to just be me,
Angie
Yes. I lumped this phenomenon of being drained (neptune) by relationship or love (venus) with abusive situations and being misunderstood, having projections thrown at me even while trying to explain. Never thought of it purely on its own level before. Food for thought for tonight.
Yes to all of the above. Neptune/Moon/IC, with moon sextile Venus (in 8th).
Yep, its all true for me as well. Venus oppose Neptune t-squaring to Saturn. I’ve finally come to realize that I’m an empath and need periods of seclusion to recharge. I can only be with people for a very short period of time…..a few hours at most. I need my next partner to support this in me. Judith Orloff writes about this very eloquently in her books, since she is all about emotional empathy and energetic boundaries.
Yup. Mermaid struggling on land, alright!
I can relate, and yet that signature Venus-Neptune aspect has never been as clear as now; thanks to your blog here.
I relate to this bit particularly …”Barring a strong Mars or a streak of candor (I have these), the Venus Neptune person is not likely to tell you how they feel. They conceal things from the other, as a matter of routine; particularly things that might be hurtful to you.
Instead, Venus Neptune will avoid you. They will go into hiding, or they may escape into drink or drugs, all to get away from the other for reasons they may not even be able to define.”
I have a strong Scorpio and Mars character to my chart and my life, so I will (eventually) speak of my hurt. But, that might takes years. What you have helped to uncover for me is the grand trine I have between Neptune in the 9th House in Libra with Venus in the 11th House in Sagittarius and Pluto in the 7th House in Leo. My working philosophy (9th House) is intensely affected by my relationships (Pluto in 7th). I am wiped out by hurt and though I do appear steady and hearty with so much Capricorn, the years of long-term chronic illness wiped the illusion (Neptune) beyond doubt. That has been the nature of my life for the past seven years.
Things are changing and thanks to astrology, Elsa P. in particular, I relate to the low, low tides with increased grace. It also helps, I think, to have a newly growing Piscean friendship in my life. Jupiter is offering me buoyancy and a touchstone for luck. Wow, there’s always something and I’m glad to know I can believe that.
Thanks again, Elsa.
Oh wow, this explains so much. Now I have new appreciation for my Saturn/Moon square to my Venus/Neptune conj., because I think without that (and Mars conj. Sun), I would’ve been burned out long, long ago.
I am able to recognize in myself the happy willingness to let someone drain me to the dregs if I can keep believing in the ideal of them. Fortunately, Saturn and Mars will not tolerate such.
I learn something everyday here. Libra rising and Neptune in the first house. I get drained and crawl into a book or sleep to get a rest. This has always been a struggle for me.
“We tend to hang around people who are attuned to nuance because of this. I need people who can see when I’m beginning to fade and who are willing to look the other way while I slip under the water and renew myself.” – 
That made me smile
Such an in depth analysis..thank you!
“We tend to hang around people who are attuned to nuance because of this. I need people who can see when I’m beginning to fade and who are willing to look the other way while I slip under the water and renew myself.” – That made me smile
Such an in depth analysis..thank you!
“It’s a struggle to be on land and act like it’s normal.”
So true!! I go in and out with the tide. Sometimes I wish I was a solid rock, maybe that would make my life easier to manage. I have to tap other aspects of my chart because I am *consistently inconsistent* due Venus-Neptune. It is in fire so you can imagine all the inevitable mood swings. Sometimes I burn up with exuberance and other times I am so dim and dark.
I am in love with a Venus square Neptune man. I can tell when he’s fading and vice versa and we hold each other up that way.
“The person in relationship with the Venus Neptune person in all likelihood has no idea their partner is struggling, and the Venus Neptune person WILL struggle to remain an ideal”
BINGO! Until I truly was forced to express myself, he never had a clue. I would hit the wall and with no one to provide a smelling salt.
Absolutely can relate:( This was my former relationship:(
I have a repetitive frustration with getting summoned from the deep and then left high and dry. I need to be met at least half way. If not, I am tending not to surface anymore.
I have a wide forming square natally, and a wide forming conjunction progressed. I wouldn’t change my whacked past relationships, no matter how terribly some ended. But I am too old for that nonsense now.
This describes me to a T, I’m pretty infamous for plain ‘ole *poof* disappearing! Venus in opposition to Neptune with Neptune conjunct my descendant (amongst other such lovely aspects).. I’m there, then I’m just not. It’s hard for people to not take it personally at times but it really is just part of who I am.
Oh wow. I really totally agree on a lot of what you said.
I have Cap Neptune in the 9th Qx Gemini Venus in the 2nd.
I have always tried my best to live up to people’s ideas of me and then I get too overwhelmed and want to break free. I always attributed this to simply being a Gemini, but this makes lots more sense. I really loved this post Elsa!
Crickey that described my last few years. Actually has disabled me. Trying to get back on top.
Amazes me that those who know how much a person has been through, troubles them with drama over very solvable things. I announced I was going into hiding yesterday great idea. They were still back today with the same sssh…what the?
You just described me, in a nutshell.
bingo! 11/1/64, 340pm bklyn ny was just talking about this. i am 47 never married and i have always made bad choices when it came to love 
def have been a wee bit victim-y about it too…i reference my birth data because this year’s solar return was confusing–Venus square Neptune…is love real? sometimes the Venus Neptune square means there is no physical connection…
Venus trine Uranus…a friend becomes a lover? Uranus makes a friend for life, but no sex there, either. as it’s been 3 years since any intimacy, i know it’s time for love but…
enter, adorable wonderful man 20 years my junior but in a relationship. amazing soulmate connection but my timing is awful wondering if it could ever work in the future but refuse to live in hope. regardless, it’s absolutely fascinating how this all works!!
“With Venus Neptune, you’re dealing with a mermaid of sorts. It’s a struggle to be on land and act like it’s normal. We tend to hang around people who are attuned to nuance because of this. I need people who can see when I’m beginning to fade and who are willing to look the other way while I slip under the water and renew myself.”
This is beautiful writing Elsa.
dont know if what i wrote was clear; ie there is a dual meaning behind the 2 transits
Yes to everything you said (except the drugs and drinking – I, for some reason, do not “hide” that way – probably because my Virgo thinks it is not practical).
Yes, a “drained” mermaid. Are you are an HSP Elsa by chance? I think a lot of heavy Neptune types are HSP and relationships in general are just exhausting to them! Same for me here.
Venus (Leo 9th) Square Neptune(Scorpio 1st) – In love with love and wants the fairy tale and even when we settle for a mere mortal – they exhaust the hell out of us and we want to be way from them.
I love that picture btw – perfect Neptunian fantasy complete with that fantasy hair. I would love to hide and “peek” behind ivy covered walls waiting for the person to seek me out.
I can relate.
HSP = Highly Sensitive Person.
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/highly-sensitive-person-test.html
“They will go into hiding, or they may escape into drink or drugs… It is not uncommon to see a normally hearty person, all of the sudden damned near disabled. It’s because the tide went out, that’s why.”
Story of my life. I completely isolated when I got sick. Venus in Leo square Neptune in Scorpio.
Oh! Thank you. No, I don’t really think I am. I am able to work with numerous clients in a day, often with pretty intense circumstances and keep my mind sharp. I don’t know how to marry this with the other. They are both true.
Yes, Venus/Neptune conjunct Sun in Scorpio. But hooray me! Today I indelicately told someone off who really deserved it. And I don’t feel much guilt, either. In fact, feeling a bit proud that I stood up for myself when he had tried really hard to just give a speech (without hearing any feedback).
Tune time.. escape into music and avoid any peeps.
Beautifully written Elsa P! Neptune in Libra Venus in the 8th. You can escape any time. We’ll wait for you! The lighthouse is here!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp0czGg_XDk
neptune time!
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
I think, every day and every night, I think of you.
Walking with my basket full of blueberries, they’re for you.
Early in the evening, early in the night, I dream of you.
Lalalalalalal
Eating a pear in Santa Maria de la Feira.
What a pleasure it is to go.
The good people on feel joy, they never feel sorrow.
Why suffer?
Playing, in the ocean, in the sand.
Living like this.
Lalalalalaalalal
White window.
let the morning come, let it come again.
Waiting is how I spent my time.
Waiting for Inaniel.
And praying for her warmth, for her breathe over my skin.
I tell you, everything’s great with me here, except sleep.
Friend, I beg, I ask of you to help me, help me.
Searching with my anchor on the tide.
Swimming In you.
yeah. didn’t help that people saw me and thought “vampiric target!” although i don’t think they do anymore (hard to tell. maybe i just avoid them on sight now.)
these past few posts on your blog have been like a screenplay for the things happening in my life recently.
as for this subject, i can relate. i have sun, mercury, mars and a peregrine venus in 12th, and moon conjunct neptune in 8th. i go under the water very often. especially in a crowd or on a party, i just press the off button.
and just last night i had a conversation with my friend about that habit of mine. he thinks it’s a antisocial behavior, and tries to teach me how to act differently. i don’t know if that is such a good idea. i don’t think i am antisocial, i have friends, i go out, but i do admit it can look strange sometimes. then again – i neeeed it… i do.. i have always had complexes because of this habit of mine, as being different, not the party girl, not the small talk one.. and i guess i still do. it hurt me yesterday to see that my behavior is still not excepted nor understood, not even with my very close friends. so, do we try to fit in (for the sake of avoiding pain of being different) or do we do what we (on the inside) need..?
and a question to all: are complexes (insecurities) created when people compare us to others (why aren’t you more like her?), or is our psychology the exclusive factor that creates those insecurities…?
yeah I can relate to being on the other side of this… but I feel like in my neptune generation this is a very cap trait… It was wonderful reading this as now i understand that it may be a venus neptune conjunction thing going on
I never even thought about Venus/Neptune until reading this blog.
Venus Aquarius 12th Square Neptune Scorpio 9th.
My Mars Leo Trine (mutual reception) Aries Sun makes me very vocal about things. I have learned, the hard way, that I can NOT change people’s opinions of me, or the way they live their lives. I’ll tell you how I feel, and if I see you refuse to change, I leave.
I had to get out of both of my marriages because I did feel like I was dying inside. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t put up with other people’s crap, and here I was trapped both times putting up with people’s crap.
With Neptune having just gone over my Venus, and now Conj my Moon, no wonder I’ve been literally hiding from my Scorpio ex. I can not deal with him any more. I want him to go away, and since he won’t, I’d rather hide than talk to him.
Meeting new people practically sucks the life out of me right now. I’d rather be around trees and animals than people.
Yes I can relate to this. But I also have a Strong Mars and a strong Merc but I often feel like I’m talking and no one is listening. Or I’m talking to them about how I’m drowning and they don’t “hear” what I’m saying or they don’t take it seriously somehow.
I’ve learned how to speak up and believe me I do but it’s as if no one believes me when I tell them.
I don’t often subscribe to posts, but I shall to this one. It really explains a lot in my life: I have Venus/Sun square my Libra Neptune.
People drain me and upset me to dissolution very very quickly. It can be almost instant… and when it happens I do have to get away, right away. I just can’t be in the same room with them. I’ve avoided certain people for years… been know to set out across town to a club and then walk right back out the door if a certain ex is there
It’s why I can’t live with other people – in fact I’m finding it more and more difficult to be with other people at all for more than a few hours, except in my own space/environment. Even then, if I feel upset by a lack of respect or whatever, I can shut down completely. Which is disturbing for everyone, when I have guests …
I’d never associated this with my Venus/Neptune square. Maybe it’s to do with unrealistic expectations of others?
Hey venus/Neptune fellows, the reason we are drained from people may be because we’re empaths. I struggle with this placement and it’s hard for me to open up and actually tell my friends that I don’t see them as they see me as a good friend. Believe it or not, I’ve had to end my relationships – don’t judge me- because I’ve realized that I care deeply about people even if I don’t want to. Partially I’m glad I ended my previously doomed friendships, I had an epiphany that we all have a final straw and even if we cared deeply, we’re losing ourselves for someone who doesnt care deeply as we do. Our friends aren’t our responsibility to take care of, real friends point out mistakes we don’t want them to continue. Do you want your drainers to get the best of you and treat you like crap? No one is judging you when you fight back. And if they are, it’s our prerogative to snap back. By the way, this comes from a Neptune-dominant person.
Venus/Neptune
Mars/Neptune
Moon/Neptune
Sun/neptune
Neptune/ascendant
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