Not yet.

Not in my circle of friends or family members, but definitely in other circles!

If someone wronged me and I’m on my deathbed I don’t think I’d be able to forgive everybody, but I definitely would forgive most. I guess even I have my limitations to forgiveness.

And I had to steal this picture – I love it!!

No. Even though I was young when my dad died, I didn’t get the sense that he was bitter, he seemed accepting of the family surrounding him. I do wonder about other aspects of it though..

I’m with you, Isernia. My ex wanted me to visit him when he was paralysed after his brain hemorrhage, so he could make some feeble apology; and probably looking for pity or comfort from me. I had previously given him four beautiful kids, money to chase a lucrative career, and the best years of my life. I poured myself out on this guy, and kept nothing for myself (mu mistake, admittedly). His response was to burn my whole world down, when I decided I could’nt stay married to him anymore. I owed him NOTHING, period. I’m still clawing my way out of the hole that the divorce left me in ! I knew I had forgiveness work to do, obviously, but I was going to come by that forgiveness on my own time table; not anyone else’s — and especially not his.

omg my sister, right now is soooo bitter. She will not lower herself to see my dad who has just gone thru a summer of chemo and radiation, and then fell, broke his hip, ended up with a tube feed and trying to relearn how to swallow. I had to find a good place to rehab him in and he weighs less than me and his stupid oncologist wants him to do MORE chemo. I should be bitter! But my sister has issues (virgo/cancer moon/fish rising) with my aqua dad all the way back from her rebellious teenage years. Funny, she got a great job, made a ton of money, bought houses and cars and hates the world, I dont get it, and she has never been married. She loves to start trouble in the family after and during funerals and no one sees her otherwise. She wrote both parents hate letters and disowned them a few years ago when my cappy brother got hit by a car and died, which devestated them. No one needed her wrath or blame during that time. I dont even bother with her, nothing good comes from her. Do you think its because she works at the post office? lol, she is postal..and mean…

my grandmother. She was in an arrainged marriage. She died first. She refused to be buried next to where my grandfather was to be buried. She had herself cremated although it was against her religion. She told my grandfather she was going to heaven, where she would meet her parents and tell them everything he had done. This did prey on his mind after she died. As he was dieing, he was scared of meeting her parents in the afterlife.

I’ve noticed that a lot of folks don’t understand what a genuine apology is. A true apology requires the repentant to feel remorse. A statement like: “Whatever I did to hurt you, I’m sorry” does not qualify as an apology.

My sister was like this when my Dad was passing. She could not see him and she could not forgive him. Yes, he treated my mother like garbage and us too. He spent his last years alone and broke although he ate like a king as he loved good food!
Anyway, I feel bad for my sister that she couldn’t let it go. She didn’t have closure. She carries all of this with her everyday. Old baggage that sours her soul. I know it’s tough to forgive when the other person would never think to apologize but sometimes you have to let it go. It’s easier when they are gone to do just that.

Omi’s post that is! I love the cultural taboo and lines crossed and closure with a threat!

The time to sort anything out not already sorted, is within the time it happens or at the first opportunity. It’s always struck me as very sad in a pathetic way that people only have the courage to apologise or make amends or require company when they’re about to exit. Too late, mate.
I’d have thought the correct focus of attention at such a time is to keep an eye on the medics whilst contemplating the vast unknown into which you’re about to enter. Pacify loved ones; the regrets should die before you do.

I’ve seen this. It’s a scenario I do not wish to repeat.

Experiencing my parents transitions, especially after caretaking my mother for three years, I could not imagine a transitioning person having the energy to carry hate. It just wouldn’t matter any more. It’s no longer an issue. The focus is on releasing into death. But then I talked to an RN that works in an elder care facility and she said hands down yes, some grudge till death. Her take anyway. I got one more source to check with.

While caring for mom, I found it sad that folks threw their issues into her transition time. Like they wanted to control what time she had left here and her death. There is so much anxiety about impending death. But ya’d think they’d show a little more respect than to throw their anticipatory anxiety and childish needs into the situation. Unfortunately, as primary caregiver, I had to take alot of that crap, because she was busy doing what she needed to do.

My father didn’t want his brother, who he felt cheated him, notified of his illness and subsequent death.

i have not seen “to the end” yet but i have seen someone be bitter for 20 years now. to this day she badmouths her ex-husband. i agree he is a despicable person, but when does it stop being about him and actually about you? the way she seethes in her anger and bitterness – it’s clearly an attachment to the negativity, i guess to the superiority it gives her. she’s really not interested in moving on, it seems.