I have not been shy about calling myself a dog or a lizard or unevolved or whatever. I state that I am raw; that I work in a dirty grave and that I operate on instinct in large part. I may reason things out. I may have an intellect but I would never override my gut at this point in my life because my 8th house and it’s lower functions have proven to be so reliable.
Understanding that I write from this position, I think brains and brawn are prowess are ultimately what attracts a woman to a man. Even if your prowess is intellectual, women really don’t want to see failure out of a man. They want a man to be effective (Mars).
A lot of women raise their sons to be sensitive and somewhat feminized. I personally think a man like this is going to have trouble attracting a woman, other than a(nother) mother figure. A boy might not break out of this at some point but the odds would be low because a boy is so geared towards pleasing his mother. If his mother tells him that batting his eyelashes is the way to go, then that’s what he is going to do. On the other hand if she tells him, that if he wants a woman, he’d better be able to take care of her, and provide for her, then this is what he will strive to do.
Over the few years, a lot women on this blog have claimed to prefer feminized men. I am sure they mean it but as our society morphs and becomes more threatening, I think this will change. Women will want a man to keep the wolf from the door, one way or the other and they’ll be far less interested in a man they have to offer protection to. Consequently, I think women who are coddling their sons are doing them a disservice.
Do you agree? How does the future look for feminized boys/men?
63 Responses to “Brains, Brawn And Prowess vs Feminized Men”
However, I will say this…I knew a feminized man who was the CFO of ALLSTATE, there are many CFO’s fyi…and he had a wife…but she was not exactly ideal in the beauty department. That aside, she was loving and nurturing and seemed to take good care of her children.
Most definitely, these men have fared will in recent years. I just think it’s a fad and one that has peaked. People forget that fads come and go (quickly) and my point here is to examine this on a deeper level.
People never lose their survival instinct. It may be buried but it’s there all right. 
I like thoughtfulness, and a certain amount of warmth, and self-control, but I also like masculinity. I like men who are obviously men, but don’t act like horn-dogs, and can take care of themselves. When I met the taurus, he was wanting to fall in love again, buy a house, further himself in his career, etc. but then he went all wishy-washy within a year or so, during the time when I was still feeling things out (we were acquainted, and took turns being out of touch for whatever reason, but were also aware of the other). He became totally flaky, started using drugs here and there, did other things, lied… and I was totally turned off.
I remember him practically strutting like a peacock, when I told him that I trusted him to take care of something (for his own benefit). He warmed up to me once again, too.
It is interesting that men are showing up to comment on this. @pholusnine@gmail.com thanks for stating publicly, that you do things to get rid of women. I don’t think many women know that about men.
Absolutely, who wants a little B****!
I want a man to keep the wolf from the door, you said it correct Elsa, thanks.
The future for those types of unbalanced little boys are heading in a direction of continued failure. Let their mothers be their girlsfriends that’s what it looks like anyway. Then they can all be a diservice to each other.
I have no interest in feminized men. I don’t want someone to go shopping with. I want a man. Thankfully, that is what I have.
In the future, I expect this to balance out. Accordingly. We will be away from the extremes of Rambo vs Richard Simmons and end up with MEN who portray a well proportionate side of each. True fathers. Able to both provide for and relate to their children. Who have no qualm about getting their hands dirty but are able to appreciate the function that women provide–not suppress them for it.
In return, I see women becoming better able to accept their role in turn.
Does that make sense? I have seen men become increasing confused about their role within society. And this is on the heels of women having the same confusion.
Those that will fare the best will be the ones who are able to accept differences in gender and be appreciative of both while having the freedom to express their own.
Of course, I’m talking WAY down the line. This isn’t going to happen in a few years. I would imagine the beginnings will come when the current children (ages up to 3? maybe) become of age. So we are talking about 30 years or so.
Not that I’ve been thinking about it or anything
Feminized men won’t “man-up” when they have to in my experience. So it really depends on what women want. I don’t want a man who won’t stand up for me.
josefina, they don’t know how. This is something people don’t realize. If you don’t have skills and then find you need them, you don’t just blink and have them, lol.
Raised two and working on the third son who is 16. Teaching them to respect women and acknowledge the difference in how women think has been my goal. I may be “liberated” by single parenthood but I do request their manly help and try to teach them self sufficiency. I didn’t have money to spoil them and this can be a blessing. If you want it, work for it and get it!
Someone once told me when they were young that us mother of sons can ruin it for their women. I kept this in mind. I’ve noticed that mothers of daughters don’t do everything for them. I also think that the sons emulate their fathers behavior: If he comes home and puts his feet up and expects to be waited on, and mom does just that, he learns that this is his appropriate behavior.
As far as I can tell, effeminate young men seem to do well enough with women. I’ve also seen ultramasculine guys make total fools of themselves. I think it’s more a matter of compatibility. We’re also witnessing more women than ever wearing the pants in a relationship, so I suspect the male effemination is just a response to an increased demand for such men. About 20-30 years ago there were renowned psychologists preaching for men’s right to express their softer side. The feminists immediately grabbed this idea and took it to an extreme: The only good man was one who acted like a woman and preferably got rid of his genitalia, while he was at it. Men will want pretty feminists as much as any other women, so some men simply changed their tactics to get sex. Some were simply easy to lead by anybody with a voice loud enough. Mutable energy in action. My aunt once had a man who cried in public because he had been told it’s what ALL women want. She dumped him after a few years, because he was too embarrassing. The young generation was brought up by these men and/or the women who divorced them. I’m not surprised at all to see men wearing pink anymore. I’m sure some woman, at one point or another, told them they look good in pink.
Personally, I prefer traditional Capricornian colours. If anything, I’m brainy. Brawn I replace with strategy, tactics, technique, control, determination, decisiveness, preparation, speed and if that’s not enough, I can always unleash the “In Case of Emergency” aspects of my chart. That means a Judge Dredd Capricorn, Jeanne d’Arc Virgo, Robin Hood Sag, Terminator Taurus and a Scorpio named Buffy. That’s what’s reserved for hostile men. Around women, unfortunately, I’m just goo. All the above qualities simply disappear, except for the brains. I can tell you, if you’re fishing for women, don’t use brains for bait. That’s for zombies. Any moron will do better, even if he needs help to unzip his pants. Some woman will unzip them for him. This is simply a statistical observation. I’m sure all who have dated morons will agree. Yes, I know some women do SAY they want a smart man, but saying and doing are two different things. Of course, being unemployed drives away practically all who might still be interested. Keeping a job with my 10th has turned out to be impossible, so that leaves us with little choice and even less luck. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever actually CHOSEN a woman. For that, I’d need choice, which is a rare luxury, equal to unicorn feathers.
So, the future looks good for effeminate men. Much better than mine.
Feminized men? Ugh.
LOL, Conoco!!
I have Venus in Aries and Moon Mars, so the only thing that makes me feel good is brawn! I have always wanted someone who would be able to guard me to ward off danger of any kind!
Well I guess you can say that I am effeminate man but I can definitely say with ease my mother does not raise me like this, in fact, hell this always had been me. I’ve sat and thought about it because I think it’s a first world kind of “fad” but I don’t think it’s a fad, it’s only a fad when the empire itself collapse and everyone get in survival mode and then feminized men will not do well in that environment. If there is a first world, he is going to be desired because I think feminized men are considered intellectual in finer things, clothes, culture and such but if he does not posses those knowledge but just sensitive, well I am not going to find him attractive then.
Bit irrelevant but to be honest, I find these social-gender roles to be irrelevant and really push people to play a “archetypal role” when they really are not and totally set them for failure, I have done this and I am tired. (fyi, I’m genderqueer)
Effeminate men are always going to be wanted in first world.
I find feminized men hard to deal with because the anger under the surface is scarier than expressed anger. Like I would much rather argue with an aggressive person than a passive aggressive one. But I’ve got mars in Aries…
Nuclearbush, fwiw, I think “effeminate” implies this is a person who is possibly embracing his role. Whereas “feminized” implies the role is being foisted on the person. I have plenty of beloved effeminate males in my life who embrace who they are and are, in mind, deeply strong for it, and demonstrate their own type of masculinity. That’s v different from someone who is robbed of agency because of an out of balanced culture, weird indirect demands, too much political correctness, or too few healthy outlets for expressing traditional grrrr strong masculinity. Anyway! Just my view of this.
Ah, Thanks Kr, I was having hard time understanding the term, feminized, since you’ve educated me. I don’t think I have an opinion anymore mainly because I haven’t met anyone like that…yet.
Thanks.
Oh, my pleasure! I apologize for so many typos — when I type on iPhone the whole world cries.
Yeah totally agree with you Elsa. The feminized man is a major turn off for me. Ok as a friend but nothing more.
This is a rich, complex topic.
I want prowess and confidence in my partner, true. Yet I choose not to ‘win’ such a partner if it requires ceding my own prowess and competence.
I guess I get squidgy around the idea of categorizing feminine traits as weak traits and vice versa–but I get what you’re saying, too and don’t disagree.
For example/s: I’m uncomfortable with a man who crumples up and gets weepy when the going gets tough…But I’m likewise repelled by a woman who exhibit the same behavior.
I’m also uncomfortable with a man who’s so muscled up he cannot scratch his own head. But I’m likewise ill at ease with a woman who cannot even dress herself due to the length and decorations on her nails.
What is sexy/desirable to me in a partner is, perhaps, authenticity and egality. Someone who is comfortable and confident in their own skin–and who appreciates and is attracted to the qualities I can bring to the party, too. We don’t have to be…hell *shouldn’t be* peas in a pod/like for like…but complement each others strengths and shore up each other’s weaknesses.
KR just summed up beautifully what I flailed around for so long saying badly.
Thanks, KR!
I think it depends on your definition of a “feminized man”. For so long in this country, the epitomy of manhood was the “John Wayne” character – a man never cries, never gets emotional, can’t express his feelings and knows how to treat the “little woman”. He also wasn’t supposed to cook, let alone enjoy it, or really know how to do anything creative and reading anything beyond “wanted posters” or such other vital information (heaven forbid he should enjoy a novel!) wasn’t a man’s forte. His job was to hunt and shoot, chop wood and other various manly forms of bringing home the bacon. Any sort of “self -care” (taking or enjoying regular baths or other grooming duties) meant you were sissified.
The above ain’t my type of guy!
If by feminized you mean someone who doesn’t know who he is as person, can’t take care of himself or stand on his own two feet, well I don’t particularly care for that either.
If by feminized you mean he enjoys smelling and looking good, has a taste for finer clothing, can help advise me on my wardrobe well I’ll take that any day rather than someone who’s leaving me their “tread marked” underwear to clean.
What about gay men? Would this render us “weak”? I beg to differ…
I’m glad kr made the clarification… Otherwise I’d have a few words to say…
In my experience, I prefer a mate who will enact the role of the provider, the more aggressive; gay men with this energy are out there not just the stereotype… My theory is, if you want to attract this type of mars energy (and I speak in terms of my experience as a gay man) you bat your eyelashes; it works!
So girls if you want a man put your femmeninity on steroids…. Opposites attract and it works every time…
Here’s my two cents anyway…
My husband remarked, there have always been mothers who try to keep custody of their sons but the feminizing is new but certainly effective. This boggles both our minds.
It’s most likely much more individualized than what we see on the surface…what if a woman is naturally very masculine, effective herself? Do we automatically call her masculinized because she matches a certain trend?
But it’s not because she’s socialized that way, but an expression of her natural energy…
And if she prefers a guy who is a good match for her and understands her needs in a traditonally feminine way because that’s how he functions? He is feminized just because he’s been raised in a way that fits him? As adults men have other male role models and grows beyond his mother, and the women he dates shapes him as well if his mother’s ideal was far from his. I don’t think a truly confident adult man is going to stay feminized for long.
I might not like these feminized men myself to date, but I appreciate their subtlety and sensitivity in conversations and when we are planning projects much more than a sterotypical man’s man who is going to duke it out with me. Sometimes the most effective and masculine men aren’t the ones who stick around either. So…still think it’s more nuanced than just a “me tarzan, you jane” pairing model for society. People become themselves and make up their own minds as adults.
Do you think society will allow individuals less leeway and reinforce more traditional social values because we’re moving out of Aquarius into an Aries/Libra/Cap/Pisces outer planet world?
Also, some women do prefer wit, sensitivity and diplomatic civility to hunks of muscle… some girls like scrawny geeks, some like class president jocks…don’t think the world has changed that much on the inside and in the pants.
I like a man who has an intellect – someone I can properly talk to, inc about books, art etc – and at the same time a man who is in touch with his own sensitivity, who can own his feelings and is sensitive to my own. I want a man who will cede me some power in our relationship, respect my mind, my skills, and my autonomy, and show consideration for my feelings.
Is such a man feminized? – or is it just that instead of polarizing men and women into stereotypical roles as society did in the past, we are now allowing men and women to contain and to manifest those elements of both sexes in which we all share, rather than subjugating and hiding them?
At the same as wanting a man in touch with his sensitive side it’s definitely important to me (esp as a Cap stellium) to respect a man for his success, for his ‘standing’ if you like. A man who expects to be looked after is in no way attractive to me, and I can’t understand women who are prepared to carry men in this way.
I agree with Elsa that the emasculation of men has gone too far. All the men I’ve loved left the parental home very young, and I can’t imagine loving any man who didn’t want to forge his own identity and future as soon as he was able
It is indeed a complex subject!
Its weird I never really understood till my papa died. Him and I were always building or fixing something around my house he taught he everything I know. When he died I became more and more discontent in my marriage. The reality of not having a husband who kept the wolf from the Door was just to much. I continued to try and make a safe healthy home. But I was truely alone doing and finally thought why the hell do I give it up to this man who I can’t stand and got sicker and sicker with myself. Talked, went to counseling and nothing changed if anything it got worse. Instead of working to protect us he worked to keep us in the dark.
So yeah I want a man who will partner with me but that I know on a deep level ultimately can keep the wolf from the door even if I could myself. Partnering to build, protect and maintain a safe physical/emotional/energetic life
Oh man. (says my Sagittarius moon with a bad pun)
I admit that I tend to prefer the extremes of the gender stereotypes – macho men, girlie girls – but that effectiveness is the key, *especially* in a man.
I know this isn’t modern or evolved or anything, and I really don’t care. I can take care of my own crap – I own a tool belt and power tools and I know how to use them. I can cook circles around most people I know. I am smart, independent, and self sufficient – and I don’t need anyone to *do* for me.
But I like someone to, sometimes. And if he can’t, then what’s the point?
It’s always fascinating for this double-Aquarian queer watch how heterosexuals talk about these things… 
I think I get a little confused, because the combination of effeminacy and “fierceness”/radicalism is not uncommon in the gay world. Necessarily, gender identity and roles are common social and political issues confronted in this context, so I’m wondering what useful correlates there are between the homo- and heterosexual worlds.
For example, I have heard such conflicting opinions about gay marriage. One side emphasizes that equality is important; the other side emphasizes that radicalism is important and that the right to engage in heteronormative institutions will cow the queer masses. And so on.
Honestly, I just can’t imagine the same category of man that you are, Elsa. That is, those who were apparently raised by their mothers to be effete, sensitive, AND somehow essentially & generally ineffectual…? It’s probably due to lack of experience; which is probably related to my habit of avoiding ineffectual people in general, regardless of their gender!!! So in that sense, we’re definitely on the same page.
Also I see you and VA have been pulling pictures from the same sources! I can’t tell you how much I love the squirrel/chippie pictures.
“Honestly, I just can’t imagine the same category of man that you are, Elsa. That is, those who were apparently raised by their mothers to be effete, sensitive, AND somehow essentially & generally ineffectual…? ”
@heavyWater I understand this and can’t tell you how much I appreciate you trying. I really am talking about heterosexual men here, and their (eventual) interaction with women. I meant to be very specific.
I really don’t know if homosexual men are as keen to please their mothers / be seen as okay by mom as heterosexual men are. I mean, I don’t know but it is something I am going to look into at this point because I’m curious.
I have met more feminized straight men than feminized gay men. Odd, right?
That said, I agree feminized guys don’t “man up”. That’s the turn off for me too. And if they use more hair products than I do – or any hair products really I guess.
Basically, if he has better hair than I do and cares more about his hair than I care about mine, it’s no go. I can’t deal with that.
I love this post I really enjoy masculine men that can take care of and provide for women. Over the past several years, whenever I say that to most people, women and men, I get horrified reactions. They think I’m unenlightened or backwards because I want a man to take care of me and I want a masculine man. I’ll clarify that I’m perfectly happy to take care of myself and provide for myself, but I have a lot of respect for men that are not afraid to at least offer to fill that role. I plan to help guide my son to embrace his masculinity and not be ashamed of it.
@ starkttn I happen to like chubby geeks It takes all kinds, no?
also kt’s “when I type on the iPhone the world cries” is making me laugh. I love the autocorrect site!
Feminized men are a turnoff to me. I am okay with having them as friends, but as romantic partners? No.
One of my very first boyfriends used to respond to every disagreement we had (whether mild or severe) by crying instead of actually talking about the issue we were disagreeing about. Then he would drive up to see his cousins, who introduced me to him and who had been friends of mine, to cry at them about what a monster I was. It didn’t solve anything, and when we eventually broke up — and this was my main reason for ending it with him — he managed to turn most of the people we knew against me.
This “crying man” had an image of me that was totally at odds with my real self, and though he claimed to love me, he was really in love with a hologram. Wanting not to be married at 19, and to have the freedom to develop a career, is not a crime. And he found someone to marry him just a little more than a year after we’d split up.
I think he did learn not to involve his cousins in his subsequent relationship to that extent, because when I saw one of them a few years later she complained to me that he’d stopped talking to her about his wife.
I don’t believe over-indulgent parents do their kids any favours by encouraging sons, especially, to deal with conflict by crying and refusing to communicate.
I have become polling…
“My premise is that heterosexual men try to please their mothers. Whatever their mothers admire, they will try to fulfill this. My question is, do gay men as concerned with their mothers; with pleasing their mothers as heterosexual men?”
“Yes.”
“There is no difference?”
“No difference.” He laughed. “That’s a funny question.”
“Okay, we’ll you’re busy so that’s all I have.”
*click
Lol, Caroline.
I never got the whole feminized men thing. Great as friends but that’s about it. I always wanted a guy who could keep up with my adventuring, who wasn’t intimidated by my kick ass brain or my bellydancing. I found it pretty difficult to find that man who impressed the hell out of me! I was looking in the wrong country – shoulda known better Yep, the Aussie has it all – brains, brawn and prowess – just my kind of guy
Oh wow, this is awesome. I’ve been thinking my darling dearest is a bit feminized but it just clicked he’s NOT.
If brains and humor translated into muscles Arnold at his peak would be beaten by my man. ROFL, this just totally changed how I was viewing him.
Thank you!!
I don’t think a feminized man excludes from the start the ability to provide for his woman. Or it shouldn’t. Actually it should be an asset, because a man that understands a little bit about the female mechanism can manipulate it to get just about any woman he wants.
For me feminized men are those that sit on their asses and wait to be pursued. I am sure there are women out there that like to hunt and do their jobs for them, but regardless, I don’t think any man feels good deep down when he is being pursued and the subconscient frustration will show up later on in the relationship.
Stick to the basics, that’s all I am saying!
Hi Elsa – I know my response is a little late on this but I just saw it and wanted to say hallelujah to this article, I couldn’t agree more!!! You are right on the money – this is something that has bugged me for years. I really, really, really prefer to see a man be a MAN and I can’t imagine ever being attracted to a man who has been “feminized.” Ugh…no thank you. I just wish there were more masculine men out there, or at least more that crossed my path anyway. Great article, perfect topic – thank you!
About the crying men…are we talking feminized men who cry when it’s really terrible or immature men who cry all the time and whine? I am fine with an emotional man, but that is different from a man who can’t deal with problems and is immature or has psychological problems or hangups with women.
Had a super emotional ex but we just ended up having to talk and work through a lot more than with someone more earthy…but also felt much less power-tripping and need to produce…i guess it really depends on people’s maturity, regardless if it comes out as a mothering or fathering type.
@shannon, totally agree, there are all kinds and that’s what makes the modern world so much lovelier than my greatgrandparents’. chubby geeks are cuuuuuuute, but if they get to go to Comicon without me, I get mad!!! LOL
Strength of character is much more appealing, integrity in either gender. Sociologically, it will be interesting to see how this plays/balances out. Women are outpacing men in university grades and test scores (more than 50% of medical and law students are now female). It has been a culture of mollycoddled and favored sons, and the favoritism still extends to the male in families. Crying in a male under real circumstances is not a terrible thing, particularly if that male shows responsibility and strength in his life. I see a lot of men being supported financially by women and a passive male doesn’t make a particularly flattering portrait of “manliness.” There seems to be a lot of male disempowerment and anger at the moment, i.e. rape and domestic violence statistics have gone up.
I think you have to balance the yin and the yang in order to evolve as a person.Having alot of water signs in my chart but cap. sun to keep me grounded I am a sensitive guy but not a wuss.I expect women and men to be independent and self sufficent.If you study astrology you will discover that all the important relationships show up in your chart and are karmic so it doesn’t really matter because you will hook up with the person you deserve for the lessons you need to learn.
i love this blog, but i can’t say i agree with this, and i find it kind of sexist, actually. unless i am not understanding the term “feminized men” completely. i personally like a balance of BOTH masculine and feminine qualities. in both men AND women. i have mars square venus though, so maybe this kind of stereotyping bothers me more than most?
i really think it’s hard to typify a whole entire person with a simple stereotype like this. nearly all of my friends are artists, and i think many of them would fall under “feminized”, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t stand up for themselves/others either.
I definitely prefer my straight men to be masculine men. I don’t like wishy-washy/namby pamby guys.
I miss it when men were men and women were women.
I have many gay male friends and I really don’t care if they are feminized, effeminate or masculine because I’m not sexually attracted to them and vice versa.
I love this blog, too, but I have to say, if any topic has ever made me want to turn my back on it, it’d be this one… MY gut reaction is that the root of this question is sexist or perhaps at least irresponsible. Who gives a damn? As a gay man, I’m very unlikely to sympathize with any woman who’d like to complain that there aren’t enough masculine men around for them to date or mate with. Not only because it sounds like a cheap excuse to obscure the truth. Unless the world is bereft of any brawn between the two sexes or unless you are victimized (if that’s even possible) by a feminized man, isn’t it all kind of moot? How is speculating over this going to improve any of our lives? On the other hand, you’re likely to strike a very deep, painful psychological chord with any gay man who happens to read the blog, and that’s where the irresponsible part comes in. Somewhere in the world, a teenage “fag” is getting beaten up by his father because that might just toughen him up, i.e. make him straight. I concede free will despite the stars, but some things are not social constructs or fads, and you will never be able to beat it out of people. It would have been nice if this was pointed out right from the start. Personally, I support diversity. I think the vast expanse of human diversity, whether due to nature OR nuture, serves us all very well in the end.
IC, I am sorry you were offended. I guess I piss off everyone eventually but it’s not intentional. I have explained many times how it’s impossible to write anything concise and meaty and cover all the bases.
I do my best and I have for roughly 25,000 blog posts. I’ve got nothing more.
Elsa <3<3<3
Oh, I haven’t read all of the comments – I just clicked on the names at the right, but I’m sorry if my comments added any offense.
I want to say something re: men I’ve run into out there, including the Taurus, who claimed that women have made him feel “less than” all his life (hell, I didn’t do that at all, until he crushed me, and I blew up, but I digress). they also complain about the lack of role models, and turn to douche bags to learn from, thinking that that’s what a “real man” is, and what gets the more simple, shallow things out of women.
I put having trouble finding someone now, down to my age, and so many men out there chasing younger women, or just not approaching, for whatever reason – I get studied by them when I’m out, have seen them give me the appreciative once-over and grin (I smiled back, when I caught them). Maybe I’m not pretty enough or smart enough, but I actually was in the past, and I know that my isolation and other things played into my not finding many chances in that way, but I also know that it was not all down to me. there’s a lot of confusion, and more men want to be players. more women say they don’t want a man permanently, and maybe it’s all true, but it feels bad for those of us who are/were looking. I’m 36, and men are told by PUA’s that they can have the college girls, so why bother with women my age, when they want the young babes? that may not be true of all of them, but it is of quite a few. I see more women going for men their own age, and more men going for the youngsters.
Ugh, I’m not feeling well, so I’ll shut up here, but it’s a mess, and I’m tired of it ALL. I also feel for you, because I had a friend – one of the boys next-door – who was afraid of what would happen when he “came out”. his own grandmother accused my mother of being a dirty old woman and seducing him, when he was only around for coffee and chatting. he had no father – his disappeared when he was small. I don’t mind a man crying – taurus would cry – but it bothered me when he ended up acting like a little boy, for whatever reason, at the age of 35.
<3
Elsa, I thought about this while falling asleep last night. I do respect the public position you hold here, and its potential hazards. I appreciate the work you do, very much.
Thanks, IC. I went to bed with on my head last night – I hate that! It had been a good day!
I am really glad this didn’t escalate. I want to be able to write freely and people very much want that from me.
I think of this like skating on ice. If you want to see a daredevil skater, at times you’re going to see them hit a wall or land on their ass. I am out there trying though.
Also, I can’t be you. What is in your head is not in mine. Your priorities and interests are not mine. That we can meet on this blog and find out about each other enormously valuable to me.
I’m always asking questions, yes? I am curious about you. I really do want to know what you think and how you feel about things because it enhances my life. It makes it interesting and more enjoyable. However, I will forever and always be a heterosexual Italian woman from the desert, for good or ill.
I’m with CP. I have no idea what a “feminized” man is. Or what a masculine man is. The most feminized man I know lost his leg in a war and not only did he overcome that challenge, he helps others to do so. The most masculine man I know was a crier. I think all of us, male and female, have characteristics that run across a spectrum and that its not “good” or “bad”, just different. And I think we see this because we live in a society where people feel safer now to be their authentic self. I’m 46 and when I was growing up, you had to be your gender archtype – or shunned and criticized. Yuck.
If I were to overgeneralize, the bigger problem I see is not “feminized” men but men who were raised to believe that they are the “Moon and the Stars and the Son” and think that their mere existence is enough and that women should cater to their every whim.
I maybe wasn’t as clear as I should have been in my earlier reply to this post…
Just for clarification, I have nothing against men who cry. If a man won’t or can’t cry at all, I’d be worried about him! But my ex-boyfriend cried during every single disagreement we had, whether big or small. It was his reaction during the small disagreements that was such a turnoff. It’s hard to respect someone whose reaction is to run away crying, working up a good head of emotion on the drive away so that he can elicit sympathy from others, when the disagreement was about something as petty as which movie to go see, and could have been settled by talking.
Most men don’t act in such a fashion, and I’m very grateful for that. I honestly think, given that I was his first relationship, he’d had this idea that women should always defer to men, because that was the way the women in his family behaved (things like “my husband/boyfriend won’t allow me to do this or that”) and he found it very distressing that it didn’t work that way with me.
From my own POV, a man who is willing to work together on relationship issues, like an adult, is much more “masculine” than one who badmouths their SO to mutual friends anytime he gets upset, whether the issue is ultimately trivial or not. He wasn’t very loyal, and the crying and whining to his friends and family was just the cherry on top.
In this world is things not so easy to adjust. You must be carefully for what You asking for. Now we got a bunch of Feminim men, and that`s all the Womens fault. And now it is suddenly not suitable anymore. I just say one thing, You lost Your respect and Your protection. Suit Your self. I do not want to do anything for a Women if it is dangerous for me. Yes i am a cover. Handle with that new situation, be my guest.
Thanks for your comment, ken. I agree with you to an extent and started a discussion here http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/who-is-to-blame-for-the-femininzation-of-men
Get A Consultation
Schedule a consultation by phone
Schedule a consultation by email
Read what clients have said about usThanks, we look forward to working with you! :-) - Elsa P
Order a Report
Order a Transit Report
Order a Solar Return Report
Order a Relationship Composite Report
Order both relationship reports, save 10%
Order a Lunar Return ReportHeads Up from Elsa P!
Sign up below to get my free weekly email newsletter covering the astrology of the next week. I send this email out every Thursday.
Recent Blog Comments
- serena009: I love this article. I have Jup-Sat opposition in my SR and it'...
- Jennifer: Another great post, Elsa. :) <3
- morgan: Astrology correction :) Saturn return. 2nd house. No value for s...
- morgan: I can relate to this. I've cut off people who have drained the e...
- Peace Be With You: Jupiter has been opposing Saturn quite a bit in the last one yea...
- debdeb: Amazing.
- daisy: I have a jupiter sun and a saturn moon. I have mastered bullet #...
Recent Board Posts
- Jupiter, Perspective, Storytelling...On Steroids
- Do you have plans for the (USA) holiday weekend?
- F*** Yeah Friday
- Fuck You, Too.
- what is your first instinct with this?
- Whats your favorite movie style?
- Argumentative
- When it's not your responsibility...
- Most-aspected planet in a chart
- Happy Birthday Tam!
I frequently act feminine when I want to repel a woman away…so this makes sense…
But the thing is I can’t act macho either…I’m kind of like Elvis in that department…