See, I think the personals are fine for some but I talk to soooo many people who use them and struggle with some element of them.

One major intimidating factor is that people are all over these sites and constantly being solicited. It’s great for some but others don’t like the constant churning and turnover, however, they may be 30 or 40 or 50 or have kids and have little idea what alternative they have, seeing as they may not want to go sit in a bar, go to concerts or whatever.

So this seems viable to me. It’s way to meet people in your community where it is not a meat market.

Let’s just put it this way: I would do this at this point in my life. Get involved with my community as a way to meet people. Not saying I would not use other venues. Just saying, I would do this for sure and wonder if I would not have better results.

Great idea Elsa, I will use it. Just recently re-signed up for Match and EH. Have gone one one date so far. Am screening FAR more carefully than in the past. But I like your idea a lot.

CL in my area is a total sex dept. When I first became single I looked at the personals there, and honestly I bet 80% or more seemed to be sex oriented. There are two sections – the regular section and the “casual encounters.” Casual encounters is presumably the sex section but it definitely spill into the regular area in a major way. College town, military town, vacation town…. I’ve heard through at least two different sources that dating in my area for gals seeking ltr is extremely difficult. It seems that the guys are looking for other things.

But I will march on.

You & I are strongly in accord on this, Elsa. I’m also not in the market, but have friends who are looking or would like to be looking.
I really like your Newspaper comments idea. That makes lots of sense.
I am a not-so-secret Yenta at heart (I try hard not to meddle these days) and encourage peeps to go do stuff that is meaningful to them and do it in a way that maximizes a good exposure to others who find it meaningful.
An upside, too, I think, is that when we’re engaged in activities we love we are putting out an authentic and less distracting energy that is very attractive to others.

hmn. I’ve been spam filtered. That hasn’t happened for a long while. Must be my turn.

See, someone who reads the paper and is involved with their community is already interesting in my book.

I ahve been on Match.com on and off for almost 3 years. I live outside of NYC so you’d think it would be great. IT’S TERRIBLE!!! I recnetly started posting MY desires for a companion on Craigslist… the results have been PHENOMENAL! The key is, I think, to write a really good ad that sort of says something about your personality. Make it clear you aren’t interested in a NSA sexual relationship. I think if the wrting is good and it really reveals your heart, you will get a lot of responses…. In the 2 months since I posted the first ad, I have had 12 dates (no kidding). I had to sort out the young men working on their ‘cougar badge” but all in all, some pretty nice guys. I trust my intuition though. If they say they are college grads and can’t put a sentence together, something isn’t right… if they say they are ‘about 6′ tall” they ARE 5’8″…. Just use your head with Craigslist and ANY dating site. If it is too good to be true, it is. Be SAFE!!!!

Wish me continued luck ladies!! : )

Elsa, I actually happen to agree with you – that it’s better to immerse yourself in an activity you enjoy to meet your potential mate. I think it is the best way. Now, I just happened to meet the Aussie on OKCupid…but that was during a spell of me going online to “practice” my dating skills so that when I met the right guy through normal interactions, I would be ready. haha!

jo. it really is worth trying, at the very least you will gain lots of new friends. i was a community manager for some years and watched several relationships form this way.