Hey Elsa,
I totally agree. I’m a 6 or 7 in looks (mercury and venus conjunct in Taurus, 9th house). Yet, I’ve had incredible romantic success based on my intellect and giant, open, loving, sexual, sensual self. It comes across. My girlfriend, on the other hand is literally a gorgeous model, venus conjunct mars in gemini, 12th house. She is everyone’s ideal and before we met she was used, lonely, not listened to, just an object or arm candy. I would not like to appeal to everyone. It’s a recipe for emptiness.

I really wish it were that easy.

I look forward to more of this. I wasn’t quite clear on exactly *how* to use your Venus, except not to deviate from what you are.
Libra Venus, and not attracting anything worthwhile. I do have a sort of generic appeal, so that gets me superficial attention; but I get very tired of rejecting people and setting boundaries. It’s a constant reminder of not getting what I want. I’d love more info on how to attract the good one(s) and being less attractive to the dogs.

Sorry, I had to add another comment, which was that with Venus in Aries, I’ve learned to be very careful expressing what I desire. It comes true. About 10 years ago, I thought I might be gay, and within 3 days of saying it aloud, along came a lady. The exact opposite of what I was expecting–no processing time–and in true Aries fashion I threw myself right into the fire. It ended badly. And in case anyone actually cared, no, I’m not actually gay. Just very, very impulsive when it comes to love. On the upside, when I felt ready for serious love relationship, I found it.

Venus in Libra here. Supposedly a good placement but it’s kind of a one-off in my chart, not really connected to anything but Uranus. So I guess I want an unusual love with an equal. So true. I also know that I have a hard time integrating the charm of a Libran Venus with the rest of my intense Scorpionity. But there is a soft, sweet, sort of girlish side to me that men appreciate if I feel safe enough to let it show. I look forward to more on this subject!

Carrie – I am going to do my best to address this, but this topic is immense in my mind. I have no choice but to allow it to unfold organically because my mind just doesn’t work any other way.

Right now, I am struggling… or incubating is a better word, how I might communicate my ideas and unfortunately I am incubating a million other things that come to front as they damned well please which is why you see things in spurts on this blog.

I am afraid this is my personality but can see an upside.

The disruption allows people time to integrate ideas and have their own thought processes…. they make comments which get me pregnant and give me direction like yours did and hopefully we all progress???

LMAO, Carrie. That’s a nice way to characterize my fractured mind! Unbeknownst to me, I know what I’m doing… er… right?

Carrie, thanks for that. If nothing else, I try to be a diversion. You can look over here while your life fixes itself.

well, as far as the aries venus goes….
the kind of men i tend to like are attracted to me but don’t tend to actually do much about it until i run after them.
shy, or something. i have no problem with shy as long as i’m appreciated. what i don’t get is that i’m so darn shy myself but i can still chase someone down if i think they’re actually worth chasing.

My Venus is pretty much exactly conjunct my South Node, in Gemini. I can kind of get how the Gemini thing affects my Venus, but I don’t know what to do with the South Node thing.

I looked up my synastry chart with my husband, and my Venus is trine his Mars. I guess that’s a good sign, maybe he loves something about me that I take for granted (South Node), who knows…

Ah, Wyrdling. We are of the same stuff. I have this situation happening now. And I’m like HEY I’m shy too!

But, Elsa, you once told me that I’m going to want the man who is attracted to me. I think there’s something in being recognized for who we are that’s attractive. If I’m trying to be barbie, and there’s this guy who’s into me, I’m not going to like him back – cause I ain’t barbie!

But when I meet the main who recognizes me for being brainy and eccentric, sensual and feminine and all the other things that are the very essence of me, then I’ll also be very attracted to him. Kind of a “takes one to know one,” theory too.

The thing I feel most about my Venus is it’s in my 4th. Yeah, it’s in Virgo and that’s supposed to be uncomfortable and whatnot. But I feel like love is the most fundamental part of me. I’ve never had a problem feeling or expressing that I love someone, and I feel like it just comes out of my soul like it’s so easy. But that big ol’ square to Neptune has prolly confused me into some bad choices. I always find myself with 10th or 12th-house Venus people who don’t seem to connect with their feelings of love as easily. So, looking forward to hearing more on this.

Speaking of double sign my venus is in Libra. NO wonder I painted my whole room pink when I was a girl! lol in the twelvth…

This is sort of my prime directive, finding a satisfying love relationship……..

I don’t do a lot of attracting…. I think I sort of have a leave me alone vibe even when I want to be attractive. It’s like the composure get’s stuck in the on position…. Venus in Scorpio, sun, moon conjunct Venus, Venus square ascendant, Venus Trin Saturn…. It’s complicated…. Mostly I do the looking, probing, feeling, searching, testing…… I am very shy, and intense, and selective when it comes to opening myself up romantically. I look to mate for life….(Saturn in cancer in the 5th house) When I find love, I can be a bit manic expressing my volcanic fervor…… My partners have been few and far between, but they were all(most) quality and we learned stuff from each other…..

I might have finally found what I am looking for….. but I will have to travel 1734 miles and work out some details to find out……

Despite having a Venus-ruled Ascendant and Venus in Pisces in the 5th house battered by outer planet aspects, I still feel most comfortable and authentic with my boyfriend when ‘being’ my Gemini moon (also battered by aspects), which closely squares my Venus. I do miss some of the dreamy Pisces Venus stuff, (it doesn’t do much for his Venus in Aries, alas) but I think I get that back by losing myself in Neputunian pursuits like film and music.

lol, Wyrdling and Stephanie – this happens to me all the time. Venus in Aries, but mostly Saturn/Cap influence. I attract the shy quiet types and nothing happens until I initiate. I’m comfortable with my capricorn energy, but it’s taken me a long time to accept the Aries side. Hunting makes one vulnerable to rejection. And damn it, I’m shy too!

I usually don’t succeed at being anything other than myself, so I’ve learned to just accept it. I am always amused though by the discrepency between what other people think I am, what I think I am, and what I actually am.

I have Venus in Aquarius, 1st house, sextile Uranus, conjunct my Moon and semi sex my Asc. and Semi Squ my Neptune.

With my Moon and Mars in Aquarius as well it seals it…I am myself and if you can’t love the strange little girl that I am and my mind then I can’t be with you. I love all of my friends they are all my soul mates so I always feel surrounded by love.

Unfortunately in romance I am attracted to the “I love you…now change!” dudes. Like all the sudden I can’t shave half of my head or touch food with my fingers in public.

(raises hand) Another Venus in Aries here! Every man that I have been attracted to has been attracted to me too, so…. I don’t think I have a problem getting the guy I want. As they say – be careful what you wish for/want. Are they “right” for me? I have no idea. Maybe not, most of the time.

Venus in Aries here too LOL. It is conjunct the 8th house cusp, and I don’t feel it has much of the good stuff associated with being in the 7th. All I have read on how Venus in Aries is a fast flame that burns out fast, sure doesn’t resonate at all with me.

The placement is very Scorpionic “to me”. The problem I see is that Venus in Aries is a Warrior Wench and on the hunt, and doesn’t recline passively and “attract” while having herself fanned and fed peeled grapes. Aries doesn’t make my Venus “fall in love with love” and lose interest at all.

Seems to me that is what I have been attracting though, they burn out and run. So I guess I am projecting and that makes me damned sad, because I deserve better.. a lot better!

Homogeneity is so mallish.
I was drawing yesterday – an allegory of a meditation I had about a journey I went on. I just could not capture myself. I had always drawn myself with long dark hair and roundish – which is what I used to be. I recently cut my hair and found that I kept drawing myself as a man, but I am feeling very feminine at the moment. Eventually I got it and it was when I turned the head around to look backwards at where she had come from. I liked how I came out – still roundish.
It is a fascinating journey how age changes us and brings different aspects into focus – how laugh lines cusion our eyes, how our breasts get motherly, but always there is beauty. How could we mess with this. How could it all be about attracting a man?
Venus in Pisces, loving getting to know herself alone after many years of BIZZARRE relationships!!

Thanks and welcome, spidermoon.

12th house Venus – i feel my beauty/love nature is hidden/invisible. Maybe not from women, but from men. And this Venus is a Leo Venus –
How does one attract FROM the 12th House???

Venus in Aquarius here….and I found when I was still single….I have limited appeal. I’m sort of an acquired taste so to speak. But seeing as my sun AND midheaven are Aquarian too…. well it didn’t bother me. As for whom I’m attracted to the guy HAS to give me breathing room, no one too clingy and when it comes down to it… if the person isn’t interested in me…. I’m not attracted to them. Luckily I met my good match 13 years ago and we’ll be celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary this year. (Darn Caps always have to be super sure before they marry you, didn’t believe my intuition!)

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I’ve got Venus in Aquarius conjunct my MC and Pallas Athena. It seems really cold at first, but I also have a lot of water and really strong Pluto. So I’m kind of like a Viking. I feel like (and I’ve been told countless times) that a lot of men aren’t ready for me. Because I am a pretty strong woman, but not in the way that you’d expect. So the guys who like me because I seem to be really aggressive are always disappointed or intimidated when I show a bit of vulnerability, or the guys who like me because I seem really sweet and vulnerable are always disappointed or intimidated when I loudly express an opinion or displeasure at something they’ve done. I feel like it’s very hard for me to fully embrace that side of me, and I just have to tell myself that if I keep being myself, there’s bound to be SOMEONE out there who is ready for me, and furthermore, excited about me, as I am. (The upside, of course, is that with Venus in Aquarius, I refuse to conform to anyone’s damn beauty ideal and I think I still look pretty good, all things considered.)

Hey where is my comment?

I have Venus in Capricorn in the 11th house. It is 135 degrees Jupiter in my 6th house at 1 degree Virgo. 2 of my 3 ex-husbands and I did start business together, and sure enough both marriages started to crumble when they failed to pay attention to details (the books). Both business served the public also. My Pluto is within 3 degrees of my Jupiter and when I tried to expose the financial problems usually tax related (saturn in 8th house) they would just get madder than hell. So as the businesses started to fail so did the marriages. And while my 7th house libra is empty, I worked very hard to set boundaries between work and play by using my Uranus in my 5th house, but to no avail.

So long story short, I will never, ever entwine business and romance again, and yet when I get overall chart readings, they tend to lean toward romance with someone who shares career interests.
GO FIGURE.

LIke I told my counselor, every time I go to the salad bar, I pick spinach, and I get sick.
Since I have no intention to stop going to salad bars, help me to pick something other than the spinach!!

So hows that for a “I dunno know” about my Venus.

Elsa, I %100 agree!

Both Venus and Mars in 9th house Leo. My Venus is conjunct my midheaven and trine Neptune.

I was a hopeless romantic as a kid, and always felt rejected by boys. But in my teen years I felt my luck change. For one thing, I can’t be attracted to someone who isn’t into me, so that makes things easier. Also I’m really into people who are creative but also vulnerable, kind of like the tortured artist type. All my past loves have been involved in music, the arts, entertainment, etc.

Funny thing is, when I started playing music myself, I stopped wanting to date musicians!

Another Venus in Virgo here. Venus is squaring Neptune and Neptune is conjunct my ascendant in Sagittarius. People do project onto me, but all in all I’ve been very happy with my personal life since I was a teenager — now I’m in my mid thirties.) I meet people very easily and have to put out more effort to avoid relationships then to find them.

Must be the Venus in Virgo, people often refer to me as delicate and/or refined. Which is funny because the Sag rising makes me a clumsy goofball once anyone actually knows me! Anyway, what I learned quickly is no guy that likes a cheerleader, Maxim Magazine, or bombshell type will ever be truly turned on by me.

Which is fine because there are plenty of guys who like who I am and they are the guys I like too.

Well, I’m off. Got to run to the Department of Motor Vehicles to take care of some paperwork for my boyfriend. A romantic gesture from me to him. (Venus love, Virgo service.) hahaha What a funny placement for Venus!

Thank you Elsa. I read your blog all the time. An amazingly huge undertaking to keep up with as such a constant pace. You are an impressive woman.

sm gr8 discussion to follow in coming days

leo venus,uranus,mars conjunct leo ascendent (with aquarius on 7th) with 4H scorpio moon/nept & 12h cancer sun/merc. In the past i dated & married (1 time) aquarian types but after those emotionally distant & frustrating relationships have realized i really need emotional intensity & intimacy first with a man who can handle both my need for ‘space’ and my hot & cold, water/fire personality… life is such an adventure. Dreamong of a scorpio venus male to figure me out…

Hey, that might make a good thread: design your perfect mate. What sign is their Sun, Moon, Mars, Venus, etc…

I have Venus in Cancer, but I’m just not the cooking type. I am the lavish presents and restaurants type (Sun square Jupiter). Venus in the 6th means service, not gonna go any further into explaining that. I think I have the chart of a giver (probably Moon/Venus in the 6th, Libra or Virgo 7th or 8th house, Jupiter in Pisces). I do like to take care and be taken care of, sometimes I do the mothering thing, but I don’t think it’s sexy (Venus opposition Mars?)

“DON´T move away from your own venus”

aquarius Moon sextil venus in aries
my man has moon in libra

I agree Elsa ¡¡

Perfect mate – he’d have scorpio venus, fire moon and be an Earth sign, earth or fire mars. mars/moon conjunct or trine, sun conjunct jupiter to start with. and some nice saturn aspect too for long term. do you think a man’s venus have more weight than the moon in a lover anyone?

Venus in Cancer, so, yes, my Venus is different from yours.

Nevertheless, the aspects that you have to your Venus (and whatever communication-connected aspects/placements you have) make that bridge so that any Venus can relate – I suspect.

Thank you. If I could, I’d have carved that particular message into stone – or saved it digitally, lacking the other. Thanks, hey. Please know that you’re at your most-or-at-least-very expressive in doing these videos. (I think so… but, there’s no way this could compare to connecting with you in person, because, although others have, I haven’t.)

I think you are absolutely right when a person changes them self to be more attractive to all persons it is wrong.

If a person has what is called cosmetic surgery but it is done to improve a persons health then it is completely different story,

My Venus is in Scorpio conjunct Saturn in the 9th and my husbands is in Pisces conjunct his Sun and Mercury in Aries all in the 8th

. Hey. This is just absolutely one of my most favorite things you’ve ever said on this blog and it was when you first posted it as well.

There are other facets to this. If someone is *unsatisfied* with the way you are, that’s not going to change either. They’re going to keep at you to change into someone else. If you would just only be this way or that way, change your hair, lose some weight, get taller, become a businesswoman or chef or learn to knit…it’s all futile. You just don’t have what they want, so why go through it?

It’s so detrimental to a person’s self-esteem to be in a relationship with someone who just isn’t attracted at a basic level. You spend so much time being made aware of what you’re not there’s no time left to concentrate and build on what you are.

But you and I believe in something I realized later other people don’t believe. They don’t believe that human beings have innate traits and qualities that are unique and unchangeable. THere’s another idea that undesirable traits have to be weeded out or trained out. For example the *best thing* to be is blond and willowy and interested in cooking and sewing, and uh…you know…there’s an IDEAL that people should reach, be attempting to reach in all things.

So I think in a way this comes down to a person’s basic life philosophy. Like you can spend your whole life attempting to grow and develop desirable traits or you can believe that you’re just fine the way you are, and that’s how nature made you; capitalize on your innate strengths instead of considering them weaknesses. THis is a huge philosophical divide and I never realized it til I met someone who could not see that there was some logic in humanity’s differences.

I love this too…but what to do with a Venus in Capricorn? I already am shy. I am great one on one but fail at parties. So I don’t meet many men. I am not outgoing. But if you like me, I will go and do fun things with you, try anything and hopefully be entertaining. I never got dates in High School and only a couple in college so really don’t know what I attract. When I am attracted to someone I have done the chasing mostly but not always. I have in my later years attracted every sign in the book but found what I really wanted to attract, wasn’t attracted to me. Oh well!

Hi, Elsa.

I totally agree with what you say. I’ve always hated dating. I usually attract men when I’m not looking. However, I spent the bulk of my 20′s in two long term relationships, one 2 years and the other 5 years. Since the second relationship ended I crave the companionship,but find it difficult to put myself out there and play up my attributes.

But I’ve been a fan of astrology since I was a little girl. I know that having a Capricorn sun, Virgo rising, Sagittarius moon and my Venus in Aquarius helps me to be a bit reserved, but eccentric and fun when it comes to attracting men. Yet, while I get told I am a pretty woman, holding that confidence has always been tough, especially after such a painful break up.

However, I have been focusing on getting myself together (back in school for a Social Work degree) and hopefully as my personal life balances out, my love life will too. I’m excited to say good-bye to my 20′s in December. I believe my 30′s will be much more enjoyable.

Thanks for a the great posts. I look forward to them. )